Chapter 1

Chris Irvine-more commonly known as Jericho-smiled and nodded, listening as a fan gushed about how his lyrics had changed his life.  He appreciated the comments and feedback but if he didn't know any better, he'd say this person was just prattling because this was a wrestling junkie, not a music junkie.  He could spot the difference rather easily, probably because of his background.  That or simply because he'd dealt with enough posers in his lengthy career.  “Thanks, I appreciate hearing that.” He said, flashing another smile, signaling forward the next fan.

Standing back in the shadows, she simply watched him, a smile on her face.  She loved him, truly loved him, something she didn't think she'd ever find again after what happened three years prior.  She could still smell the arena; hear the fans screaming in both fear and anger, the sound of the steel cracking the skull of her victims.  She shook her head, she wasn't thinking about that and hadn't for the past three years.  For some reason though, she'd been thinking about it lately, and wondered exactly how her victims were doing.  When Chris's autograph session with Fozzy was finished, she walked over and tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to turn around, staring into those crystal clear blue eyes of his.

A wide smile lit up Chris' handsome face.  He stood up, pulling her into his arms for a hug before planting a soft, feathery kiss on her lips.  “Nice surprise.” He murmured, his lips brushing against hers, his pleasure at her being here quite obvious.  “What brings you here?  Not that I'm bitchin'.” He settled his hands comfortably on her hips, ignoring the sounds of people walking by them, leaving the area.

“I just thought I'd come and give you a surprise visit.” She replied with a coy smirk, her hands resting gently on his shoulders as she kissed him softly.  “I missed you.  This book tour has been Hell on earth.  Thank god it's almost over.” She'd written three number one best sellers that arrived on the New York Time best seller list.  A huge accomplishment in her eyes and she hoped she made Chris proud.  “How is your book coming along?  I heard it was almost finished.”

“I'm more interested in your books.” He replied, waving away his own.  He was like that, still modest.  He looked like a rock star but he'd also remembered his roots as well as the fact that just as things come, they could also go.  “I read the reviews this morning, you did great babe.” He smirked, leading her into a backroom where his things were waiting, pulling out a copy of her newest novel from under his leather jacket.  “Could I get you to sign this for me ma'am?” He asked, holding out his pen.

She giggled when she seen what he pulled out, shaking her head.  “You are insane.  Yes of course I will.” She took the pen he offered and signed it, leaving a special message just for him.  She then handed the pen back to him and kissed his cheek before hugging him around the neck.  “I'm hungry.  Feed me!” She grinned, her midnight blue eyes sparkling even though it was raining outside.

“Will do, I could use something to eat too.” Chris took her hand, leading the way out to the waiting limousine, something he was glad for when it came to New York.  He didn't like navigating the busy streets; he got lost or bad cases of road rage.  At the doors of the building, he held his coat over her head, running out onto the street with her, laughing as the rain pelted his hair and ushered her into the warm vehicle.  “Where too?”

Jalise smiled back at him as she ran a hand through her long black hair, snuggling against his side.  “Anywhere you want.  I just want to eat.” She replied softly, resting her head on his chest as she rubbed her hand up and down his shirt covered chest.  She loved caressing him and couldn't believe she'd actually found true happiness after what happened between her, John and Steve those three years ago.

Chris nodded, giving an order through the window, actually it sounded more like a request the way he worded it.  He settled back in the seat, an arm wrapped around her comfortably.  “So…is the tour officially over?” He asked, resting his head on top of hers.  “Because I'm hoping I get to keep you for awhile.” He chuckled, teasing her with his 'I'm keeping you' bit, something he did often.  He admitted it; he stole the whole idea from Casper.

“Actually, I have one more to do, but I cancelled it cause I can't stand being away from you.” She grinned and ran her finger down his lips, kissing him softly.  “And yes you can keep me for as long as you want me…” She trailed off, biting her bottom lip, and looked up at them with those big, beautiful midnight orbs of hers.  “Which I'm hoping is forever.”

“I'm hoping it's longer then forever.” Chris replied, pressing his forehead against hers and kissing her again.  He sighed contentedly, just resting beside her, listening to the sound of the rain hitting the car's roof.  He could have fallen asleep like this, just being near her relaxed him.  He smiled and straightened up when they came to a halt outside one of her favorite New York eateries.  “You'd better be hungry woman.” He teased.

Jalise's eyes lit up as she smiled back at him and nodded.  “I am I assure you.  I think I'll order steak.” She giggled at the look on his face and stepped out of the limo, holding out her hand to him.  She started laughing again at the look on his face.  “Come on goofball, I'm hungry!!” She wrapped her arm around his waist after he stepped out and together, they headed into the Cheesecake Factory.

Chris wasn't surprised, Jalise loved this place.  He did too actually, well, he liked anywhere he could enjoy her company.  He waited until they were seated before opening his mouth again, then closing it, just studying her.  He liked to look at Jalise.  Physically she was a very striking woman, often turning heads on both men and women, though he found her both beautiful inside and out.  He knew when she aged and the beauty faded, she'd be one of the few people who were still beautiful simply because of her kind heart.

After they ordered their drinks and food, Jalise stared back at the love of her life and smiled, remembering the first day she'd met him.  It was a month after she left the WWE and they were both in New York City surprisingly enough.  She was at a book signing and had to share it with this rock group named Fozzy.  Being a country music lover, Jalise hardly listened to anything else, an occasional R&B every now and then, but other than that it was country.  She remembered spotting him with his long blonde hair that had the red dyed tips and laughed, not believing how ridiculous a man could look.  He asked her out later on that night at the hotel bar and she surprisingly accepted, seeing something in him that she hadn't seen in a man.  She couldn't have been more right, but even Jalise admitted she LOVED him even more with short, spiked hair.

Chris saw Jalise's eyes studying his hair and chuckled, flashing a half smirk.  “I know, I know, I look better with short hair and I'm fuckable.” He raised his hands at her raised eyebrow.  “It's a new one to me too.  Some fan told me that this morning, right before security hauled her off.” He shook his head, sipping his drink.  “So what are you going to do next hun?”

“I'm going back to the hotel with you after this and relaxing hopefully.” She flashed him a coy smile, sipping her Appletini slowly, running a hand through her hair.  She could tell something was bothering Chris, she'd known him for almost three years now.  It was scary how long they'd been together, but she wouldn't have traded it in for anything in the world.  “You look like you want to tell me something, sweetie.  You know you can tell me anything right?” She placed her hand on his to assure him.

Chris swallowed hard, wondering exactly how she would take this news.  It was great, something he'd been giving considerable thought lately but he had to wonder how it would affect their relationship.  “Well Jalise,” He began, sipping his tonic water.  “My old boss, Vince McMahon gave me a call the other day, offering one Hell of a contract if I went back...”

The name Vince McMahon flashed in Jalise's mind, causing her eyes to widen instantly as the realization dawned on her.  She immediately smiled and patted his hand, nodding.  “What exactly is the contract for?” She asked, deciding to play stupid.  There was NO way she would ever tell him that she used to work for the man or the company, not to mention what she did to two of their top biggest stars on national television three years ago.

Chris smiled slightly, his head tilting to the side as he recalled his other passion, blue eyes lighting up.  “For a two year wrestling contract.” He said quietly.  “They want me to come back and wrestle.  With the wrestlers getting hurt, the whole steroid thing, ratings dropping; they're trying to get things rolling again.  What do you know about wrestling?”

The memory of her cracking John and Steve upside their heads with a steel chair as she continued staring at him.  ‘I can't tell him.  If I do, he'll never trust me.’ She thought, keeping that soft smile on her face, hiding her true feelings well behind those midnight orbs.  “I don't know much...I mean I've heard of Hulk Hogan, but who hasn't?” She giggled, deciding to play dumb once more as she took a bite out of her steak.  “Are you going to take it?”

“Hogan...” Chris made a face, shaking his head.  “Woman, we got to educate you about the greats of our time. Stone Cold Steve Austin, the Undertaker!” He pulled a face, remembering when he first came on the scene...which had been interrupting the Deadman, which had been a very bad thing indeed.  “I was thinking about accepting the offer...I've wanted to jump back into wrestling for awhile, work out these underused muscles of mine, you know.”

“They don't get worked out by me eh?” She retorted coyly and giggled when he groaned, popping a cherry from her drink into her mouth.  Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Yeah, she knew who he was; she knew firsthand what Steve Williams was all about, which was a vindictive, cold-hearted, son of a bitch.  A rapist, someone who didn't take no for an answer, especially to women.  Stone Cold, yeah, that name matched him to perfection.

“You work them out plenty babe, but...you know what I mean.” Chris leaned over to snatch a piece of her steak, smirking and popped it into his mouth.  “So what do you think about it?  Me going back to wrestling, I mean.  You could travel with me; we'd probably see more of each other then what we do now.”

The fear was unmistakable in Jalise's eyes when he mentioned her traveling with him, knowing that couldn't happen.  There was no way she could do that, not with John and Steve there, not to mention their friends!  After what she did...no there was no way.  She immediately snapped out of it and smiled apologetically.  “I don't think so sweetie.  That's your deal; I'd just be a distraction.” She smirked, patting his hand.  “I'm sure we'll see each other plenty without me traveling with you.” She knew that wasn't true, but she was playing dumb, she had no choice.

Chris frowned, toying with a lock of hair before sighing.  “I don't know Jalise...I want us to work.  Wrestling is a lot more traveling then the music career if you can believe it.  One place one minute, a flight to a new spot the next.  I don't know...” He sighed, propping his head up on his elbow.  “Maybe I'll turn it down; I'd rather spend my time with you then in the ring with some sweating guy.”

Jalise bit her bottom lip and sighed, knowing she couldn't allow Chris to turn down the offer.  She saw the spark that lit his blue eyes up when he mentioned the contract offer to Vince.  Maybe she could just stay in the hotels and out of sight?  Likely not, but it was worth a shot right?  “Take the offer Chris.  I'll go with you.” She quietly said, smiling, though on the inside she was trembling with both fear and anticipation.  “I'll just stay in the hotels while you go do your thing.”

Chris sensed she wasn't too thrilled about this and couldn't understand why.  “Jalise, if you want to just settle down and stay home for awhile, I understand.  This can wait.” He said slowly, knowing he loved her because he was willing to give up his passion.  “It's not that big a deal. I could work around the house, write some new songs...” He trailed off doubtfully, wondering how much longer his inspirational well was going to run dry.

“No, no, no, you're going back to what you love to do, Chris.  I'll be fine.  You are not giving this up because of me.” She was putting her foot down and no matter how much she wanted too, Jalise couldn't shake the feeling this was a horrible mistake.  “I love you and we're too young to settle down right now.” She smiled, standing up and sitting in his lap, resting her head against his.  “I'll go to the arenas with you as well.  I just want to keep a low profile, alright?  That's all I ask.”

Chris nodded, his eyes filling with adoration as he stared at her.  “Whatever you want baby.  I just want you to be happy.” He said softly, taking her hand in his, caressing her palm with the pad of his thumb.  He smiled, feeling her weight settling against him as she began to completely relax and felt the need to break the suddenly somber mood.  “Are you SURE you never EVER heard of me as a wrestler?”

In truth, Jalise had and she knew if she said that, then she would've basically admitted she lied to him.  That wasn't going to happen as she shook her head, the innocence in her eyes clear, hiding the truth expertly.  “No, I told you I only heard of Hulk Hogan and that's because of my deceased father.” She snuggled against him and smiled as he lifted her up in his arms, carrying her out of there after paying their bill.  They ordered a slice of cheesecake a piece for later on, Jalise couldn't come to this place without at LEAST ordering a slice.  Once they were in the limo and headed to the hotel, Jalise snuggled against Chris and closed her eyes, hoping and praying that this didn't blow up in her face.

Chapter 2

This was his element.  Chris had to admit he had missed this.  He smiled when he seen the fans lurking outside the entrance door of the underground parking lot.  Internet surfers, damn gossip mongrels, how he loved them.  He held tightly to Jalise's hand as he shoved his way through the crowd, comfortable in his black vinyl pants and open black shirt.  “You alright?” He called back to her, pushing away an over zealous fan who got too close.

“Fine.” Jalise called back quietly, wearing an actual baseball cap on her head, her hair in a ponytail.  She was wearing black sunglasses with black tight jeans and a Save.Us t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, tied in the front, showing off her navel as they finally arrived in the arena.  Jalise closed her eyes as the familiar smell entered her nostrils.  She was officially back and she wasn't feeling comfortable at all.

“Aw hell, troubles back!” Steve Williams greeted, walking up when he spotted Chris, grinning and shaking the other man's hand, not sparing the woman beside him a second glance.  “I heard yer ass was comin' back.”

“Here I am.” Chris smirked, hooking his arm around Jalise, feeling her tense and sighed inwardly.  “I got to go find Vince, catch ya later Rattlesnake.”

“Drinks on me.” Steve walked off in the opposite direction.

Jalise was doing everything in her power not to tremble when she heard Steve's voice and kept her head lowered as much as possible.  This was like a goldfish going into the ocean with all the hungry sharks.  Why the Hell had she even agreed to come with Chris?  ‘Because I love him and this is his passion.  I won't have him ruin it because of me.’ She reminded herself mentally as he guided her down the hallway further, praying they arrived at his dressing room sooner rather than later.

“Jalise, you alright?” Chris murmured, turning down the hallway, nodding to some people who stopped to look at them.  “I know it's hectic and the people can seem scary but it's not that bad, I promise.”

“Irvine, you clown, what in the hell ya doin' back here boy?”

“Well if it ain't the Phenom.  I'm here to kick your ass.”

“Pack a lunch.”

Again, she kept her head down and stayed behind Chris, hoping and praying nobody pointed her out.  She was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown as she squeezed Chris's hand, tears in her eyes behind the sunglasses.  She wanted to leave, to get as far away from this place as possible.  Nothing but bad memories streamed through her mind as she took a few deep breaths, trying to maintain her composure.  She was trying like Hell too.

“How you been old man?” Chris asked, aware Jalise was even more uncomfortable, which is why he wasn't introducing her.  Not to be rude, just so she wouldn't freak out.

Mark didn't ask, he had tact.  “Good, got married few years back to a lil spitfire with magic hands.  I'd introduce ya but she's at home, fixin' to have a baby.” He grinned broadly.  “You married?”

“Minus the rings, yeah.” Chris replied, grinning back.  He liked to tease about that too.

Ember.  Jalise couldn't help but smile, thankful that she finally nabbed Mark.  They made a great couple, she didn't take his shit and he treated her like gold.  That was one of the finer memories Jalise had, rare, but it was fine nonetheless.  She actually frowned when she heard Ember wasn't with Mark, but it immediately disappeared upon hearing the woman was having a baby.  She hadn't spoken to Ember since that night when Jalise betrayed John.  The woman probably hated her, who could blame her honestly?

“Home?  I think not honey.” Came Ember's sweet, deceptively gentle voice.  She was obviously at the end of her pregnancy, her black hair pulled up into a sloppy bun, wearing maternity pants and a black blouse, hands on her massive belly.  “I caught a flight, if you think I'm staying home for this by myself, having baby by myself, you're outta your mind.”

“And this would be my wife.” Mark grinned, looking abashed at the reprimand.

“Pleasure to meet you.” Chris said sincerely, happy to meet the woman who'd put Callaway in his place.

Ember's gray eyes took him in, nodding then fastened on the woman with her head bowed. She lowered her head so the men couldn't hear her.  “Walk with me?” Then even softer added.  “Jalise...”

A single tear slid down her cheek past the sunglasses as Jalise slowly removed them, staring back at her best friend Ember.  “Please don't say anything, Em.  I've finally found happiness, TRUE happiness; I love him with all of my heart.  I would never hurt him.  Please just don't say anything about this.” She pleaded quietly, keeping her head as low as possible before replacing the shades.  “How did you recognize me?”

Ember snorted, linking her arm with Jalise's, walking away from the conversing men.  “You honestly thought you could fool me?  The others, yes.  Me?  Not likely.  It was your scent by the way, you need to switch perfumes.  That and the way your fingers twitched, you do that when you're nervous.” She went silent, grimacing slightly.  “Where have you been all this time, J?”

“I've actually written three best sellers and I've traveled quite a bit.” She replied, leaning against the wall, keeping her back to the men as she slowly removed the shades again.  “I thought you hated me...after what I did…” She trailed off, sniffling a bit, and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.  She knew if anybody would notice her, it would be Ember because they used to be closer than sisters before Jalise abruptly left the WWE those three years ago.

“Out of everyone here, I'm the only one who probably understood why you did it.” Ember replied quietly.  “I know with everything going on towards the end we didn't talk that much, but I did pay attention.  I was just sad that you never got in touch with me, none of my contact information changed, besides my address.” She smiled slightly.  “You can't hide from them both J, not here; you know that, don't you?”

“I know, but it's worth a shot.  If John or Steve sees me, it'll be over between me and Chris, Em.  I can't lose him; he's the love of my life.” Tears began stinging her eyes again as she put her shades back on, crossing her arms in front of her chest.  “I don't know what to do.  I was going to stay at the hotels, but Chris wouldn't have taken the contract offer unless I came to the arenas with him.  We've been apart for a while because of his thing with Fozzy and my book signings...he just doesn't want to be alone anymore and neither do I.”

“I don't blame you.  Turn around.” Ember waited patiently, reaching out to rub Jalise's shoulders.

“Em, you supposed to working?”

“Cena, I'm pregnant and moody, don't start with me.” She replied evenly.  John had totally dived into his life, the rapping, fame, all of it after Jalise's betrayal.  She was one of the few who could tolerate him, most of the time.

“Sorry sweetheart, just making sure.”

Jalise heard his voice, could smell him, and felt her entire body begin to tremble.  She was standing tall though as she kept her head down, thankfully putting the shades back on before he arrived.  This was going to be a lot harder than she thought as she watched him walk off, though he couldn't see her.  When he was fully gone, she turned around and hugged Ember tightly.  “Thank you.” She whispered, rubbing her back, and then began rubbing her stomach.  “How far along are you?”

“Um, nine months, ready to pop any day now.” Ember laughed, groaning when the baby kicked.  “Junior in there is killing me.  He's got to be as big as an ox, his father's son obviously.” She chuckled, placing a hand on the small of her back.  “How bout you use me as an excuse to stay at the hotel?  It keeps you outta here and gives me someone to help if I go into labor.”

Jalise smiled gratefully at her and nodded, hugging her again.  “I really thought you hated me.  I'm glad it's not true and I'm sorry for not keeping in touch with you.” She then pulled away from her and looped her arm through Ember's, walking over to the men.  “Hello Mark.” She quietly said, removing her shades, staring back into his emerald green eyes for the first time in three years.  “Glad to see you took my advice and married this beautiful woman.”

Mark recovered from his shock swiftly, wrapping an arm around his wife's frame and nodded.  “Woulda been a fool not too.  Good to see ya darlin'.” He said quietly.

Chris looked at Jalise curiously, arching an eyebrow but obviously did not say what was on his mind, which was, ‘YOU KNOW THEM!’

Jalise sighed and looked back at Chris, knowing she'd have to come clean, but it would have to wait until later.  “I'm going back to the hotel with Ember.  I will talk to you later.” She quietly said, replacing her shades, and kissed his lips quickly before taking Ember's hand in her own.  “Come on; let's get out of here before I run into anyone else I shouldn't.” Together, she and Ember walked down the hallway, Jalise keeping her head lowered, but speaking quietly to Ember.

Chris shared a look with Mark, both men obviously thinking 'what the fucking hell'.  He sighed, raking a hand through his hair and knew this would have to be discussed later, especially since Jalise really hadn't left any room for discussion at the moment.  “I have to go see Vince.” He murmured.

“Good luck kid.”

~*~*~*~

Later on that night, Jalise was pacing back and forth in her hotel room, wearing a peach colored nightgown that shimmered just the slightest, her hair damp from a shower she'd taken.  Ember had left about an hour ago, saying she had to lay down and wanted to spend time with her husband.  That was fine; Jalise had to talk to Chris.  More importantly, she had to lie to him...again.  She couldn't tell him the truth, she would just simply tell him Ember was her best friend since high school and she happened to meet Mark when she went to visit Ember one time.  It would work, right?  “I'm fucking screwed.” She muttered just as a knock sounded on her hotel room door.

Chris stood there alongside Steve when she opened the door, both men laughing.  “J, I brought an old friend of mine back, hope you don't mind.  Look,” He held out a bottle of her favorite wine, Steve carrying the six packs.  “We're just going to have a few drinks and call it a night, is that okay with you?”

Steve was staring a hole through her, looking amused, though not surprised.  He just nodded at her.  “You must be the girlfriend he's rattled on about all night long.  Pleasure to meet you.” He wasn't stupid; Chris hadn't said anything about Jalise knowing any of them, so he was gathering she hadn't mentioned it.  Ever.

Jalise swallowed hard as she simply nodded, smiling back at Chris, and extended her hand to Steve.  She had to play this off like she never met the man or her cover would be blown sky high.  “A pleasure to meet you as well.” She didn't use his name since he hadn't mentioned it and stepped aside, immediately dropping her head as she raked a hand through her black hair.  She was officially screwed and wondered if running away from Chris would be the smart thing to do at the moment.  She loved him, how could she run from the person she loved?

“Well Chris, looks like ya done well fer yerself, son.” Steve settled himself on the couch, looking amused, his blue eyes twinkling.  “By the way darlin', my name's Steve. Steve Williams.” He cracked open the beer Chris tossed him, taking a long swallow.

“Jalise, this is one of the guys I used to work with, on occasion.” Chris dropped down on the bed, patting the spot next to him.

‘I know who the Hell he is.  A rapist!’ She thought, but kept that smile on her face as she walked over and sat beside Chris, snuggling against him.  “It's nice to meet you Steve.” She replied politely, feeling sick to her stomach at the mention of his name.  He made her physically sick, this was the same man who snuck into her hotel room, took advantage of her weakened state, and raped her!  “Excuse me.” She walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her before finally letting the tears fall.

“She's not generally so quiet.” Chris commented softly, his brow wrinkling in puzzlement.  “Must be she's tired...” He didn't believe it but he wasn't about to say anything else at the moment.

“I can imagine.” Steve said cryptically, finishing his beer and standing up.  “Good seeing ya man, I'm gonna head back to my room, gotta lot of traveling to do in the morning.” He smiled.  “Tell yer woman bye from me.” He gave a half wave and walked out.

Jalise wiped her tears away before running the cold water, splashing it on her face before pat drying it with a towel.  She heard Steve say that and felt like vomiting, the anger coursing through her veins.  She couldn't believe how calm he was acting; she knew he was up to something now that he knew she was back on the road.  ‘I have to make sure to get dead bolts on all the hotel rooms we're in and make sure they're not linked.’ She made a mental note to herself, shivering at the horrid memory of the rape.  “I'll be out in a minute.” She called back quietly when Chris rapped gently on the door, knowing she needed to get herself in order or else she would end up spilling everything to him.

Chris sighed, calling back for her to take her time and laid out on the bed, an arm draped over his eyes.  He frowned slightly, more then aware something was up. First off, she had known Mark and that woman, Ember.  AFTER saying she didn't know any of the wrestlers...what the hell?  He was beginning to wonder if this was a good idea after all, maybe he should just stay retired.

A few minutes later, Jalise walked out, looking as though she'd never cried.  “Hey sweetie.” She greeted, sliding into bed, and sighed when he just looked at her expectantly.  “Okay, okay I knew about Mark and Ember.  I knew Mark was in wrestling, but I honestly don't know what his character is.  I visited Ember a few years back at their ranch and met Mark then.” He didn't know how long they'd been married and would make sure to mention that to Ember and Mark the next time they were alone together.  “I'm sorry Chris; I completely forgot Mark was in this profession.” She bit her bottom lip, hating lying to him, but knew there was no other way.

Chapter 3

Chris stared at her incredulously.  “How can you NOT know?  He's the Undertaker, a living legend!” He sounded both amused and exasperated, finally shaking his head.  “Okay...” He cocked an eyebrow and then smiled, yawning.  “Did you have a good time with your friend tonight?” He asked, laying out next to her, pulling her into his arms.  “That had to be the biggest belly I've ever seen, she carrying triplets?”

Jalise giggled and shook her head.  “Look who she married.  Have you seen Mark lately babe?  The man is a giant and I wonder how she's going to squeeze THAT out of her...never mind.” She cringed at the mere thought, thankful she wasn't married to someone that huge.  Hell, she wasn't married at all, but hopefully that would change if she could survive this with Chris.  “We just talked about what's been going on, with my book tour and everything; I haven't exactly made good contact with her.” She was lying again and it was making Jalise feel sicker.

“Well, from the sounds of things, you both have been busy.  You with the book tour, her with him.” He wiggled his eyebrows.  “I'd like to see you with a belly like that...well, maybe not like THAT, but you know what I mean.” He rubbed her flat stomach.  “What do you think?  Some little Jericholics running around with black hair?  Hmm...Maybe blonde...definitely blue eyes.”

Jalise smiled at the thought of having Chris's baby as she slowly turned around to lie on her back, him hovering over her, and caressed his cheek with the back of her hand.  “Marriage has to come before a family Chris.  We don't have to rush into anything, but I would love to have your children.” All thoughts of Steve, John, Mark, Ember, anything to do with that day flew out the window as his lips descended on hers, her arms wrapping around his neck.  One thing about Chris, he could make her forget all the bad things in her life with just one kiss, that's how confident she was that he was the one.

“Marriage...Mmm...Mrs. Chris Irvine, I love the sound of that.” He murmured, trailing his kisses down her throat, moving up to nibble on her earlobe.  “Then a bunch of ragamuffins.” He chuckled, his breath hot on her ear. He already knew Jalise would be the one he settled down with, he knew she was the one and only for him.  “I love you.” He whispered, planting more open mouthed kisses on her collarbone.

“Mmmm I love you too.” She moaned out, running her fingers through his short blonde hair, gripping it gently as he traveled further down her body, lighting her completely on fire.  She loved the sound of that name...Mrs. Jalise Irvine.  Her heart fluttered at the mere thought of marrying this man and having children with him, a real family, something she'd never had before.  It was nice to feel wanted and cherished something neither Steve nor John could ever truly make Jalise feel.

Chris paid special attention to all the zones he knew WEREN'T her hot spots, knowing that'd just make her ache for him to touch her in those areas.  He smirked when she mewled, kissing around her naval, his hands stroking and kneading her sides, moving down to her hips, enjoying burning a path on her womanly curves.  He then moved so he was laying lower, beginning to kiss her inner thighs, always getting close to her center but then moving back down, teasing her.

They ended up making love with Jalise screaming his name, holding him close to her, sweating profusely.  She loved it when he teased her because it made her release that much more intense.  They curled up with each other, him spooning against her, and instantly fell asleep.

~*~*~*~

The following morning, Jalise was the first one up and groaned when a knock sounded on the door.  She quickly slipped her robe on, tying it around her waist, and stumbled to the door before opening it.  “You are certainly a morning person.” She snorted, staring Ember and Mark in the face, who both looked bright eyed and bushytailed.

“I ain't got much of a choice darlin'.” Mark grunted, gesturing to his wife.

“I can't sleep for shit.” Ember replied cheerfully.  “I already ordered breakfast for everyone so...get used to me.  I'm pregnant, moody and hungry.”

Mark watched her bustle into the room, ignoring the half awake, groggy Chris.  “She's like this...” He said quietly.  “And she's always hungry so eat quickly.”

Jalise chuckled softly as she shut the door once they both were in and headed into the bedroom part of the hotel.  “Chris honey, you might not want to just slide out of bed without clothes on.  We have guests.” She informed him sweetly, seeing he was bare assed naked from standing up, and laughed when he dived back under the covers.  “Ember, what would I do without you?” She asked, sitting down at the kitchen table, needing to talk to her pronto.  “I need to talk to you...privately.” She whispered so only she could hear.

“You would probably survive.” Ember said, nodding at her husband who went to harass the now in a pair of jeans Chris, closing the door behind him.  Em folded her hands over the table, sitting as close as her protruding stomach would allow.  “What's wrong honey?” She demanded, seeing the look in her best friend's eyes.  “Steve or John?” She asked quietly, so not to be overheard.

“Steve.  Chris brought him here last night for drinks.  He pretended like he didn't even know me, thank god, but the look in his eyes had me crying in the bathroom.” She quietly admitted, taking a nibble of her toast.  “Ember, I told Chris that you and Mark have been married for awhile, past three years.  Please just go along with it.  I can't tell him what happened between John and Steve, he'll never trust me if I do.” She placed her hand on Ember's hand, her midnight blue eyes pleading.  “I'm asking you as a sister to please, if he ever asks, just say you two have been married for four years...that would be before we met and he won't think twice.”

Ember chewed on her thumbnail for a moment before helping herself to a bite of scrambled eggs, apparently tossing around whatever was going through her head.  “Mark told me he told Chris we'd been married a year and a half honey.” She said finally.  “You can clarify it by saying we've been acting like we were married...but...” She sighed, rubbing a hand down her face.  “Darling, you have to tell him about what happened.  If he don't hear it from you, he's going to hear it from someone else.  That whole incident is...infamous.”

“I can't!!” She practically shouted, immediately regretting that as she raked a hand through her hair.  “Do you have ANY idea what he'll think?!” She demanded quietly, not believing Mark just blew her lie out of the water.  “He'll probably think I was a slut or something for sleeping with TWO wrestlers!!  I can't tell him, Ember.  Please, you have to do something; you have to help me with this!!” Now Jalise was panicking, she'd lied to Chris's face and he more than likely knew about it.  What the Hell else could go wrong?

“If Chris loves you as much as I think he does-and you know I'm normally right about these things-then he'll understand.  Honey, there's a history there, a bad history, and it's not your fault.  You have to tell him. If Steve is up to something, Chris needs to know.  You can't let Chris walk around being friends with a rattlesnake, no pun intended.  Steve's not...right in the head.”

Jalise groaned, knowing her friend was right.  “You don't understand, Em.  I've LIED to him about so many things already!  I can't go back now!  He'll think I'm a liar and he'll probably never speak to me again!  No.” She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself.  “I can't do it.  I can't tell him what happened and you have to swear to me you won't tell him either!  You need to make Mark promise too, he'll listen to you because you're his pregnant wife who will snap his fingers off if he doesn't.” She was pacing back and forth, no longer hungry.  “I'll stay in the hotels...I'll keep out of sight, I'll make sure the doors are dead bolted that we stay in.  But there is absolutely no way Chris can know the truth...EVER.”

Ember shook her head, folding her arms over her chest.  “Jalise, you need to take a step back and look at this situation.  Chris is more likely to be pissed off when Steve or John-hell maybe even both of them-come knocking.  You KNOW it's going to happen.  Tell him J, be honest with him.  He loves you and deserves that much.  You run from him and you're going to hate yourself until you die.  I KNOW you.  You need to tell him.”

Jalise sighed heavily as she stared out the window, knowing no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't hide from the truth.  “What if he hates me for lying to him?” She whispered painfully, biting her bottom lip, and felt Ember's hands on her shoulders.  “What if I lose him because of my past?” Tears began sliding down her cheeks as Jalise dropped her head, not believing she actually agreed to come back to face it, to face them.  “How am I supposed to face everyone after what I did to the two biggest stars in this industry?”

Ember awkwardly hugged Jalise, rubbing her back soothingly.  “He might be upset for a little while, but only because you didn't come to him with this right away.” She whispered assuring.  “Honey, you did what you had too, you didn't have a choice.  Chris will see that, come on, he can see the tapes of that match, of everything that led up too it.  Lord knows they played all that enough after you left. He'll understand.  If he gets mad, you need to step aside and let him work it out.  He loves you, Jalise.  I know he does.”

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Jalise finally nodded as she slowly turned around to face her best friend.  “I'll tell him...tonight.  I don't want to ruin the good mood he's in and I want him focused on his match.” She stated, raking a hand through her black hair.  “I'll tell him I have to talk to him about something important, but it will have to wait until tonight.” She then walked away from her and through the door, seeing Chris and Mark talking quietly among them.  It was obvious Jalise had been crying as she stared at him, wishing there was something that could be done.

Chris looked at her, concern filling his blue eyes when he seen the obvious signs of her tears.  He looked like he was torn with asking but a look from Ember made him bite his tongue.

Mark stared at his wife, arching an eyebrow, silently asking her what was going on.  The only answer he got was her serene smile.

“We need to go.” Ember said gently, smiling at Chris before placing a hand on Jalise's shoulder.  “See you both tonight?”

Jalise could only nod as she hugged Ember close before letting them both out, turning around to face a very worried looking Chris.  “You will find out everything tonight after your match.  Right now, I want you to focus on that and nothing more.” She then walked past him and started picking up the floor, knowing this could be the final day she spent with Chris and that just brought a fresh batch of tears to her eyes.

Chris didn't know what to say or do, he just watched her.  Sighing, he began to help pick up, not knowing what else to do.

~*~*~*~

“Mind telling me what's going on?”

Ember looked up from the afghan she was knitting when she heard Chris' voice.  “Nope.” She smiled sweetly.  “Jalise is???”

“Not with me, obviously.” He watched her, gathering Ember was a calming person, he felt calmer.  “Is she alright?”

“Chris...” Her tone held a note of warning.  “You have a debut match, get going.” Mark smirked when Chris appeared in the hallway.  “Told you so.”

Jalise was in Chris's dressing room, pacing back and forth, wondering how the Hell she was going to tell him what was going on.  “I have to tell him soon before Steve leaks to John I'm here, if he hasn't already.” She groaned at that and felt the tears sting her eyes again.  Everything was so messed up!  She was so much better off without the WWE in her life and now thanks to love, she was back in it again!!  What the Hell was she supposed to do this time?  “Maybe running would be a better option...”

“Runnin' from what, darlin'?” Steve's voice echoed throughout the room.  He smiled when she spun around, leaning in the doorway.  “Don't be hollerin' now, Chris ain't here so it wouldn't do ya any good.  He's out in the ring.” He kicked the door shut, stepping into the room.  “Didn't bother to tell him anythin' bout yer tragic lil past, did ya Jalise?” He snorted, shaking his head.  “Woman, yer just buryin' that pert lil ass of yours, plannin' on tellin' him?”

“That is none of your goddamn business, Williams.” She snarled back at him coolly, her midnight blue eyes narrowed to slits, though on the inside she knew she should run far away and never return.  “You know as well as I do that you deserved every fucking thing you got from me that night in the ring...and so did Cena.” She wasn't going to back down from either man, even though John didn't know she was there...yet.  “What are you going to do, Steve?  Rape me again like last time?”

“Rape?  I have no idea what yer talkin' bout honey.  You must have me confused with some other guy.” Steve's blue eyes widened innocently, a wicked smirk on his otherwise handsome face.  “Besides...tell yer boyfriend everythin', I don't give two shits, but it's gonna look mighty funny to him when he cottons on to the fact that you were fuckin' me, then Cena...Then Cena.  There's an idea. You started fuckin' Cena right a'fore ya turned on him.  Betcha yer boy toy is gonna be wonderin' about that.  Who knows, maybe he'll wonder if he's next...”

Jalise knew he was right and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop the tears from sliding down her cheeks.  “It was all about revenge as far as Cena goes.” She admitted, raking a hand through her hair.  “I screwed him to make him THINK I was in love with him, that he'd won my heart.  After all the shit he put me through from the beginning of his goddamn career, he got what he had coming and that was steel to his damn skull.  As for you...I really did like you, but in order for my plan to work, I had to break up with you.  I'm not a slut, but I did what I had to do to escape BOTH of you bastards.” She stated venomously.  “It's Chris's choice if he believes me or not, but one way or another he's going to find out regardless.”

Steve's eyes flashed a deadly shade of blue before settling back to their normal, crystalline color.  “In order fer your plan to work; you had to break it off?  Weren't that nice of you.  Let's see if I got this straight honey.  You led me on; let me fall in love with ya, and all so you could have yer revenge....Gotcha.  Thanks, good knowin' that.” He winked at her, whistling as he walked out.

Chapter 4

Ember stared at the monitor, not believing what she had just seen and heard, sharing a look with her husband.

“Aww hell, she's in some shit now.” Mark groaned, not believing Jalise had actually said all that to Steve of all people.

“That bastard!  Sneaking a live camera in there...” Ember groaned alongside him, burying her face in her hands.

Jalise dropped to her knees as the tears streamed down her face, not believing the confrontation she just had with Steve.  She was going to lose Chris, she was going to lose the best thing, the ONLY good thing, that ever happened to her and it was all for this stupid ass company!  “Damn it!!” She shouted, standing up on shaky legs, not realizing what just happened until she seen it in the far corner.  A small red light was blinking and all the color drained out of Jalise's face as she stared directly into it.  Was that...a camera?  Not even thinking about it, Jalise bolted out of the dressing room and toward the nearest exit.

Chris had just gotten his ass handed too him by John fucking Cena of all people.  How did it come about?  Well, that was an interesting story.  He'd been locking Cena up in the Walls of Jericho when something came on the Titantron.  Imagine his SURPRISE when he found his girlfriend carrying on a conversation with Steve-who she wasn't supposed to know!  Then...followed up by everything else, he got the STFU, a few times.  Apparently Cena was holding a grudge.

Jalise couldn't breathe, she physically could not breathe as she literally plowed through the exit doors of the arena, the tears never stopping.  That lowlife, cocksucking motherfucker had a CAMERA and she KNEW he must've shown it to the entire world!!  It was over between her and Chris that much she knew, but now Jalise was pissed.  She was very pissed as her midnight blue eyes grew cold as ice and looked back at the arena.  Enough was enough, she wasn't running away anymore.  If John and Steve wanted to play games with her, then let the games BEGIN.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Ember asked when Chris made it to the back.

“Where is she?” He demanded, holding the side of his head.

“She bolted.” Mark caught the smaller man before he toppled.  “Boy, let's get that looked at, you got a lump.”

“FUCK THE LUMP, WHERE IS SHE?”

“Try the men's locker room, she's a slut.” John muttered as he passed by. “Welcome by the way...moron.”

“CENA, GET TO STEPPING!”

After arriving at the hotel, Jalise had her hotel room changed under a false identity, remembering she'd done that to Steve.  She made sure the room had a dead bolt lock on it before accepting, telling the receptionist absolutely NO ONE was allowed and no calls either.  She made it crystal clear that if ANYONE found out her room number, she would sue this place and meant every word.  After locking every door and every window in her suite, Jalise finally started her Jacuzzi up and slipped in the warm water, drawing her knees up, and started sobbing.

“I want to know EVERYTHING.” Chris said later that night after a not so successful search for Jalise.  He was in Mark and Em's room, sipping a glass of tea and whiskey Em had made him.  “No leaving a damn thing out.”

Mark shared a look with his wife who nodded before inhaling deeply and began.

Ember sat back, putting in various things at random parts of the 'story', making sure Mark didn't leave anything out.

After sobbing her heart out in the Jacuzzi for what seemed like hours, Jalise finally dragged herself out of it and slipped on a black nightgown, the tears still not stopping.  She finally turned her cell phone on and sighed when she seen around two hundred messages were from Chris.  She sniffled, knowing he hated her, and those were probably the messages telling her just how angry he was.  “I'm not a slut, I'm not.  It was all for revenge.  I was sick of Cena's shit; I was tired of being treated like I was a dog.  I was tired of it!!” She shouted to the silence and threw a pillow, trying to get rid of her anger somehow.

“She's not returning my calls.” Chris groaned, tossing his cell phone aside.

“She thinks you hate her.” Ember said knowingly, busy getting to her nightly stomach massage, looking quite comfortable.

“How the hell can you be so calm?”

“I'm pregnant and quite used to waiting for things.” She replied.  “Chris, calm down.  Knowing Jalise, she's going to be out for revenge again. You'll see her.”

They couldn't have been more right.  Jalise wasn't going to take this line down as she paced back and forth in the hotel room, the anger fueling her energy.  What that bastard did was...she didn't even have the word for it!!  It wasn't her fault Steve wanted to date her and it wasn't her fault that he fell in love with her!!  Hell, they hadn't even dated three months!!  Who falls in love that quickly?  Jalise didn't even fall for Chris that fast so she KNEW Steve was lying to her about that all to make himself look good.  Now it was time to turn the tables.  If he wanted to make her look like a complete moron and make her lose Chris, she was going to make him lose EVERYTHING he ever CARED about.

~*~*~*~

Steve was greeted the next night to a fist in his face.  He grunted a hand flying to his nose to automatically make sure it wasn't broken.  “What the fuck?” He looked down, realizing he had just gotten punched by a fat, pregnant woman who wasn't even five foot nine.  “Ember, you'd best have a damn good reason fer that.” He growled.

“You ASSHOLE, how the hell could you do that?” She snarled, punching him again, this time with a satisfying crunch as the results.

Pregnant or not, he slapped her.  “Damn it, Em!”

“I KNOW you did NOT just hit MY wife.”

“Smile pretty for the camera, Stevie.” Jalise stated as she came out of one of the rooms, carrying a camera of her own, smirking coldly.  “I do believe the entire world just witnessed you slapping MY best friend for defending my honor.  Mark, I wanted to let you know that you and Steve are in a Hell in a Cell match tonight.  You better have your game on, Williams, you'll need it.” She sneered before walking away, leaving him completely dumbfounded.

Mark cracked his knuckles, smiling evilly.  “You're dead.” He said coldly, not whooping the man's ass until they got into the ring, then it was all legal and he'd be around for the birth of his son.

Steve swallowed hard as the pair disappeared.

The minute Steve turned around, Chris clocked him in the already broken nose. “Ass clown.” He muttered, walking off.

Like a wild fire, the news of Jalise's return spread throughout the WWE and Vince ended up hiring her as his assistant.  She didn't mind, the man was easier to work with than most people thought, and he had missed her.  She smirked, of course he did, she was the personal assistant he had on the roster before she abruptly quit three years ago.  She did ask for her release professionally so it wasn't like she just walked out on him.  Jalise was actually smiling, but it was a cold, vindictive smile, knowing if these boys wanted to play with fire, they were going to get burnt to a crisp.

John wasn't too thrilled when Steve showed up in his dressing room.  “I don't care Williams; I'm through with her and the drama.” He said instantly, busy dressing, rolling his eyes when Steve snorted.

“That bitch busted yer head open, broke yer heart on national television and you don't care?”

“Caring and being stupid are two different things, leave me out of it.”

Throughout the rest of the night, Jalise ran errands for Vince, getting him coffee, going over his schedule, anything he basically asked for she did.  She didn’t mind it; she loved being a personal assistant again, especially to the owner of this company.  No wonder John wasn't fucking with her.  If Steve knew what was good for him, he wouldn't fuck with her either or else he'd have to answer to Vince McMahon.  She smirked at the thought as she walked inside the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee, needing a caffeine rush from the strenuous day she'd already had.

John seen her and didn't say a word.  By the smug look on her face when she spotted him, he guessed she figured he was scared of Vince's wrath, or hers.  Quite frankly, he didn't give a fuck about either of their anger.  Vince knew better then to mess with him, he drew in money.  Jalise...well...he'd suffered the worst she had and survived.  He was just tired of her period.  He turned and walked right back out, nodding to Chris who was walking in.

Jalise's back was turned to the door as she finished making her coffee, raking a hand through her hair when a hand tapped her shoulder.  She slowly turned around to stare into those blue eyes of Chris and sighed, knowing she'd have to confront him sooner or later.  “I know it's over.  You don't even have to say it.  I just want to let you know that I truly loved you unlike them.  Believe it or not, I truly loved you and I will never hurt you.” She was speaking quietly so no one else would overhear before walking out of the cafeteria, trying to maintain her composure.

Chris stared at the spot where she had stood, wondering if he was ever going to get a chance to speak.  Apparently not because every time he opened his mouth, someone said something, cutting him off.  ‘Damn...’ He thought getting himself a bottle of water and settling down at a table, by himself, nobody was fool enough to come round him at the moment.  He figured they were worried about what might happen, to their heads...from Jalise.

Needing a moment to herself, Jalise walked into an empty dressing room and slid down the door, burying her face in her knees as the tears just poured.  Her heart was broken...again.  She'd vowed to never let it happen, but it did and there was nothing she could do or say to stop it from doing so.  She hated this place, she hated John, but most importantly, she hated Steve.  God she hated that man with an insurmountable passion.  She was going to make him suffer like she was.  She was going to make him wish he was never born, that was one of the perks of being the boss's personal assistant.

Ember came waddling into the room, looking disgruntled.  “You need a moment, I know, I know, but I need help.” She said bluntly.  “Mark's in the ring.  I can't find Chris...and my fucking water broke.  I seen David but I'm not THAT desperate.  I can't even find John.” She looked down at her soaked front.  “This is so embarrassing.  OUCH, this thing is trying to come out!”

Jalise was up in a hop, skip and jump, immediately helping her best friend out the door.  She kicked the first door open she could find, which was John, but she didn't care at the moment.  “I don't care if you hate me or not so do it for Ember!  Mark is in the ring and her water just broke!” Jalise was doing everything in her power to hold Ember up and groaned when the woman squeezed her hand, wondering if she heard bones crushing or not.  “Fine time for your hubby to have a damn match!!”

“John was on his feet in a heartbeat, tossing Jalise the keys to his car before scooping the woman up into his arms, not seeming to care about the fact that he was now getting wet.  “You drive.” He instructed, carrying Ember out the door.  “Honey, you're going to snap my neck if you don't loosen up.”

“Sorry!” She breathed, trying not to shriek.  “I WILL KILL HIM FOR THIS!”

“If Mark's smart, he'll get hurt and have to stay here.”

“John!  FASTER!”

Jalise rushed to the car past them and got in the driver's side, slamming the door shut as she buckled up while John placed a screaming Ember in the back.  As soon as he was in the passenger seat, she floored it out of there, heading to the nearest hospital.  “Okay breathe honey, breathe!!” She coached while looking in the rearview mirror, doing Lamaze breathing with her and breaking a ton of speed limits in the process.  “Don't push just breathe, Em!”

John turned so he could stare down at the screaming woman.  “Honey, you got to breathe.  Remember,” He began doing the Lamaze with her, taking her hand, wincing when she squeezed.  “Please tell me we're almost there.” He managed to wheeze out, his fingers bright red where she was cutting out the circulation.  “Em, loosen on the hand, honey, you...Oh Christ, thank you...”

Jalise just nodded back at him as she sped through a red light, not caring at all the honking horns.  A few minutes later, they arrived at the hospital as she screeched to a halt just outside the emergency room door, getting out and helping John.  Him of all people.  She didn't care, Ember was more important than a ridiculous grudge that happened three years ago.  As soon as they got her in, she was taken to a delivery room and neither could go in because they weren't family.  Jalise sat down in the waiting lobby and put her head in her hands, having left several messages on Mark's phone, telling him to get his ass there pronto.

John paced back and forth. Regardless of his history with Jalise, he did care for Ember. He played with the heavy chain around his neck, glancing at the clock over and over again.  “How long does this take?” He asked, not having the slightest idea about delivering a baby, looking down at his swollen hand. 

Mark came bursting in, still in ring gear, promptly bellowing at a nurse who told him he really should've changed.  “FUCK THAT, MY WIFE IS IN LABOR!”

“CALLAWAY, I'LL KILL YOU!”

John blinked.

“She's in delivery; you need to put on scrubs, Mark.” Jalise stated calmer than usual, everything was taking a toll on her and she was just exhausted.  “A baby can take anywhere from a few hours to a few days, John.” She softly answered before sitting back down, putting her head in her hands.  She missed Chris; she wanted him here by her side holding her, telling her everything was going to be fine.  ‘I fucked up.’ She thought, closing her eyes.

Chapter 5

As if on cue, who should walk in none other than Chris.  He spotted Jalise and walked over to her, halting when he seen John standing to the side, talking to Mark as the bigger man got into his scrubs.  “Hi.” He said finally.

Mark glanced at Chris then at John.  “Any problems and I'll kill ya.” He said flatly.  “I'm here for Em.”

“Hi...what are you doing here?” She softly asked, staring back at the man she loved with all her heart and soul.  It didn't matter if John was in the same room as them, it just didn't matter to Jalise anymore.  The man hadn't done one thing to her since she returned so she knew he wasn't a threat.  Steve on the other hand was, which was why she was playing fire with fire.

“Mark was bellowing at the top of his lungs about Em.” Chris replied, pushing a short lock of hair off his forehead, smiling down at her.  “So I thought I'd come along, she's my friend.” He had warmed up quick, like most people.  “That and I figured you'd be here.  It's hard to catch you in a place, Jalise.” He reached out and took her hand in his.  “I miss you babe.”

“SHE BROKE MY FUCKIN' HAND!”

“Oh man...”

“You don't hate me?” She asked barely above a whisper, ignoring Mark's bellows, her eyes filling with tears as she stared back at Chris.  “I was going to tell you after your match that night, I swear it Chris.” She didn't let her tears fall even though they would sooner or later as his hand gently caressed her face, leaning against his soft touch.  “I've missed you too.”

“I don't hate you, Jalise.  I'm confused.  I've heard the stories, seen the tapes.  I don't agree with your method when it came to Steve but I do understand it.” He said slowly, not about to lie to her and mislead her.  He made it clear he didn't condone Steve's being cast aside in favor of revenge, but he did also understand it at the same time.  “I love you.  Whether you love me or not is up to you.  You know where I stand; now I need to know where you stand.”

Jalise searched his blue eyes long and hard before finally wrapping her arms around his neck, holding him close, the tears falling down her cheeks.  “I love you too, Chris.” She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent, took him in fully, she'd missed him so much.  Slowly pulling back, she looked up at John and knew what she had to do.  She nodded at Chris, letting him know it was alright, and slowly approached the man, tapping him gently on the shoulder.  “I know you will never forgive me, but I am truly sorry for what I did to you, John.  I let revenge and hatred overcome all of my rational thinking and hurt people in the process.  Steve deserved it and you did...to an extent.  I should've never lead you on or cracked you in the head with a chair.  I'm sorry for that, for the humiliation, and I hope someday you can find it in you to forgive me.” She then turned and headed back to Chris.

John blinked, not expecting that.  Finally he cleared his throat.  “Take care...J.” He always called her J, a lot of people might have but once they had been an item, it had been either J or Gorgeous.  He nodded at Chris before walking out, knowing there were plenty of people there for Ember.

Chris watched Cena walked out before looking down at Jalise and nodded, a smile spreading across his lips.  “That was the right thing to do; it looked like a weight had been lifted off his chest.” He commented softly.  He knew the problem wouldn't be Cena, it'd be Williams.

~*~*~*~

A few weeks passed and everything was actually settle, something Jalise wasn't used to.  Her and Chris were back together, going stronger than ever.  In a way, the entire situation that happened brought them closer together instead of further apart.  It made Jalise extremely happy, especially with the new bundle of joy that entered Ember and Mark's life.  It was a beautiful, healthy baby boy who had his daddy's eyes and mother's hair.  He would be a heartbreaker when he was older, no doubt about it.

“That is one ugly baby.” Steve commented one night when he seen Jalise holding Gavin while Ember was working and Mark out doing a promo.  “You and Chris plannin' on havin' one?  Kid'll be dumber then a box of rocks, considerin' who the father is.  If you'd even know the daddy, bein' a world class slut and all.”

“There a problem here?” Chris' voice echoed in the hallway, walking up to them, a script clenched tightly in his hand.  He looked ready to kill.

“This baby is an angel, a perfect replica of his mother and father, and yes I hope Chris and I do have a baby someday, Williams.  Too bad I'll never have yours.” She snorted before turning around and kissed Chris softly, cooing down at the baby.  She kept her voice soft and sweet, not wanting to scare poor Gavin as she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.  So precious, so innocent, poor little Gavin had NO idea what kind of creeps and weirdoes were in this world yet.

“Jalise, darlin', I'd never LET you have my baby, least of all even taste my sperm, don't be flatterin' yerself woman.” Steve winked at Chris who obviously restraining himself from attacking, especially with the baby right there.  Whistling, he walked off, laughing when one of the Divas giggled at him.

“We have to talk.” Chris said flatly, pushing open the dressing room door for her and the baby.

Jalise did not like the tone of voice Chris had as she walked inside, setting the baby down in his bassinet, and crossed her arms in front of her chest.  “What about?” She asked, waiting for him to explode on her and tell her how stupid she was to say something like that to Steve.  She could almost hear it before the words even came out of his mouth.  This was who Jalise was, if somebody pushed her buttons, she pushed right back.

Chris sighed, raking a hand through his short hair before tossing the script down on the couch where it uncurled.  “Vince started a new storyline tonight.  One between me and Steve, over you.” He snorted.  “He thinks picking up where you left off with that chair would be entertaining.” He shook his head.  “I was going over the last time, what was on camera and all...I don't think so, last time you wound up being William's PA...ain't happening.”

Jalise gaped back at him, her blue eyes widening, and shook her head firmly.  “No, absolutely not!  You can tell Vince he can fire me, I'm in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM going in that ring ever again!” She was beside herself as the tears stung her eyes, not believing what Vince was trying to pull on her.  “My contract even states clearly I am not allowed in the ring, I made that clause specifically for this reason.”

“That's the thing; he doesn't want you in the ring.” Chris said quietly.  “You'd never have to step foot in the ring, as per your contract.  He said that didn't mean you couldn't do on screen work, as his assistant.” He snorted again, staring at her.  “He also mentioned some interesting fine print on your contract.  I'd forgotten what an asshole he could be when he got one of his little inane ideas.”

“I am not doing it, Chris.  I'll go right to his face and quit if I have too and if he tries suing me, I will sue him for misconduct and misinformation on my fucking contract!” She stated heatedly, midnight blue orbs blazing as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.  She was a three time best selling novelist.  There was no way she was going to let Vince McMahon intimidate her.  He could take that contract and stick it up his tight ass.

Chris smiled slightly, nodding at her.  “That's my girl.” He pulled Jalise into him for a tender kiss, nothing more since there was a baby in the room after all.  That and if Mark walked in on him doing anything more then a chaste kiss, Chris would be dog food or the ingredients in Em's next batch of oils.  “I have to go tell him to fuck himself then figure out what's going on tonight.  You going to be alright here?”

“Of course, sweetie.  If he fires me, I'll just stay at the hotels from now on.” She shrugged nonchalantly, not really concerned as she walked over and picked up little Gavin once more, her eyes lighting up.  “Hey little man.” She cooed, sitting down on the couch and just hold him, running her finger down his cheek tenderly.

Ember walked in sometime later, smelling like vanilla, smiling when she seen Jalise and Gavin.  “You need to have one, they're great.” She teased, knowing the sleepless nights and hours of walking around bouncing the baby didn't need to be mentioned.  “By the way, what's this bit with Chris and Steve?  They were face to face in front of a camera when I came walking by.” She frowned, tightening her ponytail.

Jalise sighed heavily and shook her head, handing Gavin over to his mother, and raked a hand through her hair.  “Vince wants me to do onscreen shit and have them feud over me.  NOT happening.  Do you remember the last time that happened?” She frowned when Ember just gave her a knowing look and groaned.  “I told Chris I refuse to do it and if Vince wants to sue me, I'll be ready for him.” She smirked wickedly, Jalise was devious after all.

“Gotcha.” Ember shrugged, picking up her son after washing her hands.  “Hey handsome, it's time to eat, you know that right?” Apparently Gavin did because as soon as he smelled his mother, he began whining.  “Yeah, that's what I thought, just like your dad, always wanting to maul my tits.” She sighed, turning away to nurse.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Chris cursed when the promo ended, holding a hand to his gushing mouth.

Jalise just shook her head and decided to take her leave, promising to catch up with Ember later on.  She walked out of the dressing room and immediately rushed over to Chris, who was holding his mouth.  “Damn it…” She muttered, knowing this was Steve's doing, and wanted to kill the prick for causing the love of her life this much pain.  “He's not worth it, Chris.” She stated when he went to go find the Rattlesnake, stopping him by pulling on his arm toward the exit.  “Come on, to the hotel NOW.”

“Jalise, don't.” Chris said, spitting out a mouthful of blood.  “I can't go anywhere anyway, I have a match.” He caught a towel a trainer tossed him, pressing it to his mouth.  He felt around carefully, making sure nothing was broken or lose.  “What are you doing out here anyway babe?  Vince sees you and he's gonna harass the hell out of you, you know that, don't you?”

“I don't give a shit.  You're in pain, you're my boyfriend and I love you.  I'm staying by your side until I'm thrown out of the damn arena.” She meant every word as she gingerly felt his mouth, sighing when she seen he'd have a bust lip for a few days.  ‘Damn it, why is he doing this?’ She thought angrily, raking a hand through her hair, and groaned when a voice sounded behind her.  This just WASN'T her day.

“Because he's an asshole.” Chris muttered, spitting out another wad of blood and spun around.  “YOU.”

Vince held up his hands.  “Now Chris, just because Jalise deigned on my idea doesn't mean you can't do it.  YOUR contract states YOU have to perform in the lines providing they won't kill you, which they won't.  You have a match in ten, I suggest you get ready.  Jalise, I have some paperwork for you to go over.”

“Do it yourself, Vince.  I quit.” She stated, eyes blazing with pure anger.  “And if you even THINK about trying to sue me, I will make sure your wife, Linda McMahon, finds out about your lying, cheating ways.” She said that last part in a quiet, deadly tone of voice before placing her hands on her hips.  She smirked when Vince turned bright red from anger and stomped off; knowing she now had the man by the balls.

“Actually, she probably knows.” Chris smirked, trying not to laugh.  “You honestly think Linda cares?  She runs the company, Vince gets to toy with people and she harasses him.  Her life is set, so long as he dies first.” He liked Linda; she was one cool older woman.  “Come on babe, I got to get cleaned up before my match, unless you're going back to the hotel first?”

“I think I'd better before something worse happens.” She replied, kissing him lingeringly before patting his cheek.  “Go knock'em dead, Y2J.” She winked before smacking his ass and walked off in the opposite direction, heading out the exit doors.  She was going to soak in a nice hot bubble bath with a bottle of champagne and then make passionate love to her boyfriend when he returned later on that night.  The thought brought a brilliant smile to her face.

~*~*~*~

“What the hell?” Mark stared at the scene coming towards him.  Unless he was going blind, John Cena was practically carrying a limp Chris Irvine down the hallway.  He froze; hand on his hotel room door, Ember's bottle of Mountain Dew in hand.  “What the hell happened?”

“Someone jumped him.” John said, looking disgusted by the amount of blood on his jersey.  “I found him in the elevator; get the door, would ya?”

Just as Jalise was stepping out of the tub, her cell phone blared, causing her to sigh as she finished moisturizing her legs with lotion.  She wanted to be nice and smooth for Chris and smirked, flipping the lid up.  “Yeah?  What?  ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?  NO I'M ON MY FUCKING WAY!” She was in hysterics, the tears already streaming down her cheeks as she pulled on a black robe and bolted out of their suite, headed down to Mark and Ember's.  Chris had been jumped and a sinking feeling in Jalise's stomach was telling her exactly who did it.

Ember was already tending to Chris when Jalise arrived, having cleaned the blood to reveal a gash on his forehead.  “I have a sewing kit.” She said, turning to her best friend.  “I use it to patch Mark up when he bleeds for a show.”

Mark had the good grace to busy himself with his son, knowing this was a touchy subject.

“Nuh uh, I got the kid.  You go see if anybody saw anything or something.” John said, cradling the baby, his blue eyes moving onto Jalise and smiled awkwardly.  “Hi.”

Chapter 6

“H-Hi…” She immediately turned her attention to Chris, the tears never stopping as she started pacing back and forth.  “This is the last straw!!  I've had it with this bastard!!” She was losing control as she gripped her black hair in her hands tightly, squeezing her eyes shut.  “I should've never shown interest in him.  I should've never met him!  I should've never fucked him because he wouldn't have raped me and none of this would be happening!!” She couldn't stop pacing no matter how hard she tried, her entire body shaking from head to toe.  ‘He wants me, I know he does, and he won't stop hurting Chris until he has what he wants.’ She thought miserably, her heart shattering in her chest.

“Calm down Jalise.” Ember advised studying the gash before deciding skin glue would take care of it better then stitches.  “Mark, hand me the glue.”

“Want the fake skin too?”

“Yeah.”

John watched with avid fascination, wondering just how in the hell this was supposed to work before turning his gaze on Jalise.  “Here.” He handed her Gavin, watching her settle into a semi calm mode, the baby having that effect and smiled slightly.

Jalise looked back into John's blue eyes and actually smiled a bit, silently thanking him before her attention went to Gavin, cooing down at the baby.  She was already in love and Gavin wasn't even hers!  She sighed heavily, wondering if she'd ever find true happiness, wondering if she'd ever walk down the aisle and have a family.  She wanted one so bad she could taste it, but knew Steve would never stop.  That brought tears to her eyes as she kissed the baby's hand when he pressed it to her mouth, sniffling gently.

“Christ Em, that stings.” Chris murmured when he felt the witch hazel being daubed on his forehead.  He waited until it was dry before opening his eyes, looking for Jalise.  He smiled slightly, his eyes slightly glazed over.  “Hey honey.”

“Hey Mark, get me a needle.”

“Aww hell...” Mark actually winced.  “Chris, this is gonna hurt, don't fall asleep man, whatever you do don't fall asleep.”

“Hey, is this where she's gonna stick a pin under your fingernail if you pass out?” John asked curiously.

“More than likely.” Jalise muttered as she slowly walked over and set a sleeping Gavin down in his bassinet, wondering if she could have a future with Chris.  She loved him, god help her, but sometimes love wasn't enough to conquer old demons.  ‘I need to leave and never come back.’ She thought, running her finger down Gavin's cheek, just watching him sleep.  Chris was the farthest from her mind as she raked a hand through her hair, wincing when he began screaming, Mark covering his mouth so the baby wouldn't awaken.  Ember was torturing him.

Ember didn't hurt him more then she had too.  She recognized the signs of a concussion though and knew if Chris was anything like Mark, he wouldn't be keen on a hospital.  That and if Steve was out there attacking people again, transporting him wouldn't be the safest.  So whenever Chris' eyes began to droop, she pricked under his fingernail, where it was very sensitive.

Mark noted Chris was beginning to learn how to stay awake.

John was shivering.  “Never let me come to her for healing.” He stated, cringing when Ember poked the needle under Chris’s fingernail again.

Jalise sighed heavily and finally turned around to face them all.  “I need to be alone right now.” She stated and walked out of the hotel suite, heading back to her and Chris's.  Actually, she was packing up her shit and getting the Hell out of dodge.  It was a mistake coming back to the WWE with Chris, but she did it because he wouldn't have taken the offer without her.  “He'll be better off without me.” She kept telling herself that as she kept the tears at bay, refusing to let them fall until she was on the first plane back to her home.

John sighed, having a pretty good idea what was going through Jalise's head.  He knew first hand she had a flight or fight instinct and at the moment, she had to be leaning towards the flight.  He excused himself though nobody noticed, too busy examining the mini lumps on Chris' head and followed her, catching the door before she shut it.  “Don't run Jalise, it won't do any good.” He said quietly, not closing the door behind him.

“Get out John.” She ordered gruffly, beginning to pack her bags as the tears started sliding down her cheeks one by one.  She knew what she was doing, she wasn't stupid.  Once she left, Steve would stop his shit because he wouldn't have anything to fight Chris for.  She ignored John's presence in her doorway as she zipped up her first bag, immediately beginning her second one.  This was the only way, nothing else worked besides her leaving.

“I'm not getting out because you're not listening.  Running away from this isn't going to fix it.  If you think Steve wouldn't beat the shit out of Chris without you around, you're wrong Jalise.  He's grown into a seriously fucked up man, more then he was.” John watched her pack, his blue eyes not showing her anything.  “That and if you love Chris, you shouldn't run away, you should fight for him.  Like he would you.”

“I know Steve is fucked in the head, John!  I know he is!!  If Chris was smart, he would retire right now before he ends up crippled!” She cried out, packing even faster as the tears began streaming down her cheeks.  “I love him enough to walk away.  I love him enough to let him find someone with less baggage.  I love him enough to let him find TRUE happiness.  I'm not destined for it, I never was, and I probably never will be.” She finished packing her things before peeling her nightgown off, having discarded her robe once inside the room, and pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt right in front of him.

John's eyes never changed, not showin a flicker of interest, nothing, been there done that.  “You say you love him enough to walk away, to let him find happiness but you're lying.  If you really loved him Jalise, you'd let him make his OWN choice instead of making it for him.  You love him?  Prove it; let him decide if you're really as much trouble as you seem to think.  You know what I think?  I think you're a coward who's going to spend her life running from every man because of two assholes who fucked up.  You're scared and it's not fair to Chris if you leave him.” He walked out.

Jalise gripped the dresser tightly as her head dropped, raking a hand through her hair, sighing heavily.  He was right.  She was a coward, a woman who always ran from the men she loved, even though she was never really in love with Steve or John.  She liked Steve, she'd admit that, but not anymore.  Now she feared him, truly feared him, and didn't know what he was capable of.  With a shaky sigh, Jalise looked up and stared back at her reflection, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.  Run or stay.  What was a girl to do?

<I>Stay</I> a voice whispered in her head, echoing over and over.  John's words repeating themselves.  <I>Give Chris the choice.  If you love him, let him make that choice.  Coward.  You coward.  COWARD!!</I>

~*~*~*~

“God damn, stick me with that thing again Em honey, and I'm going to stick it in your eye.”

“Then quit trying to sleep.”

“But I'm tired-OUCH, JALISE SAVE ME!  I'M AWAKE, I'M AWAKE!”

Now she stuck him for waking up Gavin.

~*~*~*~

“DAMN IT!” Jalise shouted to the silence as she brought her first forward, slamming it into the glass mirror, shattering it into a million pieces.  She didn't care if her hand was bruised and bloody at the moment.  A sigh of relief escaped her when the voice in her head had stopped, John's words more like it, and slowly stumbled back from the broken mirror.  She felt weak suddenly, so weak, and felt her legs give out on her as she collapsed to the floor, exhaustion overtaking her entire body.  Within moments, she was out like a light.

~*~*~*~

“Yer not gonna stick a pin in her, are ya?”

“No, hers is exhaustion.  Pick her up and put her in bed.”

“Woman, what am I?  Yer hired hand?” Mark grumbled, picking Jalise off the floor and depositing her in bed with the now allowed to be sleeping Chris.

“I hope she changed her mind.” Ember said quietly, gesturing to the packed bags before walking out.

Chris instinctively pulled Jalise into his arms.

~*~*~*~

The following morning, Jalise slowly opened her eyes as the sun streamed through the curtains, groaning a bit since her head was pounding.  She winced as soon as she flexed her hand, biting her bottom lip, knowing she'd injured it pretty badly after slamming it into the broken mirror.  With a sigh, she slowly sat up, holding her head in her hands, feeling like taking a sledgehammer and finishing the job.  That's how bad it was pounding at the moment.  “Damn...”

Chris opened his eyes, looking at her and sat up slowly, becoming more alert when he seen her hand.  “Jalise, what'd you do?” He asked softly, taking it gently in his own hands, feeling for broken bones.  His blue eyes strayed to the mirror and sighed, then spotted the packed bags and frowned.  “Are you leaving me?” He asked quietly.

Tears instantly formed in her eyes as she stared back at him, seeing the hurt evident in his own.  “I was going too.” She admitted quietly, wiping her tears away with her good hand.  “Steve won't stop, Chris...He won't stop unless I'm gone completely.  I love you, but apparently happily ever af-” She didn't get to finish that thought because a second later, she was bolting into the bathroom, spewing out the contents of her stomach.

Chris waited patiently while she hurled, getting out the traveling first aid kit for her hand.  He was fairly certain Jalise needed to see a doctor and he sure as hell wasn't recommending her to Ember.  She might be one hell of a masseuse but her healing methods were painful as hell.  “Do I have any say in this?” He asked when she reemerged, handing her a towel.

“Yes you always have a say in what happens between us.” She weakly replied, walking over to the bed and laid down, her entire face growing frighteningly pale.  “I don't feel good…” She raked a hand down her face, the nausea coming on full force, and sighed when it reluctantly passed.  “I'm trying to do what's best for you, Chris.  He's hurting you...because of me.  He wants me and since he can't have me and you do, he figures taking you out will force me to go back to him.  He's fucked in the head.”

“Well I knew that from back in the day, I didn't think it would be like this.” Chris replied, sitting on the edge of the bed and gently rolled her onto her stomach, beginning to rub her back.  “I can handle Steve; you just stay at the hotels.  This will get taken care of Jalise, I promise.” He frowned slightly.  “Honey, are you nauseous from what's happening or is it something else?”

“I don't know…” She whispered, closing her eyes, trying to make the nausea pass.  She groaned and bolted up, barely making it to the bathroom before throwing up again, clutching her stomach as the tears poured down her cheeks.  When it finally passed, she leaned her head against the porcelain bowl, wiping her mouth off with a nearby towel, and raked a shaky hand through her hair.  What the Hell was wrong with her?  “If I'm getting sick, I'm gonna be pissed…”

Chris just sat there on the bed, his mouth agape, wondering if maybe his hunches were correct.  Finally he made up his mind and reached for the phone, dialing down to the front desk and requesting the hotel's pharmacy.  He couldn't believe what he'd just sent for but it didn't matter, he had to know.  Definitely with what was going on, this was one of those things he simply HAD to know.

Jalise gaped when Chris walked in a few minutes later holding a pregnancy test, and raised an eyebrow.  “You think I'm…” She didn't finish as he handed it to her and walked out, giving her some privacy.  With a shaky sigh, Jalise opened the package and pulled out the stick, forcing herself to pee on it before sticking it in the cup, waiting to see what it turned.  If she was pregnant, the shit was definitely going to hit the fan when Steve found out and that just made her throw up again.

Chris was pacing the floor nervously, hands behind his back, sweat beading on his forehead.  He wanted a baby with Jalise more then anything but the last time he'd mentioned it, she said marriage first.  Factor in all this drama with Steve...not good.  Maybe it was time to retire again; well...he actually had to fulfill his contract first, a year and some odd months, like eleven.  But he could sit it out on the bench and help Jalise raise their child, if there was one that is.

It was a full half an hour before Jalise finally emerged from the bathroom, tears spilling down her cheeks as she shakily handed him the stick.  The plus sign could've been visible to a blind man as she wrapped her arms around herself and walked over to stare out the window.  The nausea had subsided as she raked a hand through her hair, wondering what was going through Chris's mind.  Honestly, this was the WORST timing EVER!!

Chris seen the look on her face and his heart broke.  He knew she was pregnant, he knew that instinctively without that damn stick telling her so, confirming it.  Personally, he was thrilled.  He would find a way out of the contract; they could go home and stay home.  But...it looked like Jalise wasn't all that keen on it.  “What are you thinking?” He asked finally, needing to know what was going through her mind.

“If he finds out, Chris...if he finds out...” She couldn't finish as she choked on her words, swallowing past the huge lump that'd formed in her throat.  The tears started pouring like two rapid streams, her entire body trembling from head to toe.  She was trying to control herself, but she couldn't help it because not only was SHE in danger along with Chris, but now their unborn child was!!

“He won't find out.  You're leaving. Right now.  You can go home to Florida or...go somewhere with Ember.  She just had a baby and nobody is going to say anything if she goes on leave to relax.  Everyone knows you quit so that's explained.  You're leaving.” Chris decided, instinct to protect his woman and unborn child kicking in, heavily.  “Jalise, please, do this for me.  I'll be with you soon honey, I'm telling Vince I can't work for him anymore.”

“Chris, I can't...I can't let you do that.  I'll go, but I can't let you quit what you love to do.” She shakily brought her hand up, caressing his cheek with the back of her hand.  “I love you and I'll be there waiting for you when you come home on your breaks.  I'm not going anywhere.  I'll be with Ember in Texas and you and Mark can come home together to see us.” She kissed his lips softly.  “Please don't quit because of me, Chris, please...”

“I'm quitting because staying at home with the woman I love and our child is more important to me then wrestling.” Chris told her sincerely, his tone firm, not allowing for any argument.  “Now...what do we need to do?  Get you and Em going obviously.” He wondered how mark would take that but didn't worry too much, Mark would survive.  Ember would probably be grateful to sleep in her own bed.  He smiled slightly.  “Nobody knows where they live, do they?”

“I don't think so…” She trailed off, biting her bottom lip, and rubbed her stomach as the tears slide down her cheeks, beginning to laugh out of nowhere.  “We're having a baby.” She said it softly, almost like she didn't believe it.  “We're having a baby...” She repeated, this time making it sound more believable, and felt a smile break out on her face.  “A baby...our baby...”

Chapter 7

Chris was on cloud ten.  Well, more like ten thousand, if it were possible.  He couldn't be happier what with Jalise having his child.  At the moment, he was busy shopping for the perfect engagement ring.  He immediately disregarded the gold ones; she was a silver only type of woman.  He didn't want anything too gaudy.  It was meant to show his love for her, not make her into an ornament.  “Hmmm…” His eyes moved past the more traditional rings to the not-so-traditional, his eyes lighting up.  “Perfect...”

~*~*~*~

Jalise sighed as she stared out the window, smiling at the soft snow that fell outside while rubbing her five month old pregnant belly with her hand.  After the news broke loose that Jalise was pregnant, Mark and Chris decided if they were going to leave the girls alone, it would be in the middle of nowhere high in the mountains of Colorado.  The wind was blustery, but the cabin they lived in was very warm and cozy, reminding her something out of a movie.  She was wearing a purple maternity long sleeved shirt with black fleece pajama pants, her long black hair flowing down her back in waves, her midnight blue eyes glistening off each snow flake that fell.

Ember was sitting comfortably on the couch, nursing Gavin, wincing every now and then as his emerging baby teeth bit a little too vigorously for her liking.  “I wish it'd stop snowing already.” She murmured, eyes narrowing slightly.  “It keeps up and we'll be stuck in here until you pop that kid.  OUCH, Gav, watch it!” She looked down, crossing her eyes.  “You're your father's son, in every single way...”

Jalise giggled as she shook her head back at Ember, walking over and sitting down as she ran her finger down Gavin's cheek.  “He's getting ornery again.” She stated, noticing how every time Mark was on the road and Ember had him alone, Gavin was a monster baby.  She looked down at her protruding stomach and rubbed it, eyeing it speculatively.  “If you give your momma that much of a hard time, I'll have to punish you little one...”

“That child gives you this much of a hard time and I'm going to venture out onto a limb and suggest Chris and Mark might be related.” Ember eyed Jalise's stomach speculatively.  “You're awful big honey, you sure you're only five months?” She pitied Jalise if she was, that would be one monster of a child.  She crossed her legs at the thought, thinking maybe a C-section would be in order.

“I had the ultrasound done…” She sighed heavily and groaned, leaning her head back against the couch, rubbing it continuously.  “It better only be one child.” She stated with a shaky smile before looking over at precious Gavin, kissing his forehead gently.  “When are Chris and Mark coming back to see us?”

“Tonight, providing this weather don't delay their flight, or the ride up here.  Just pray Mark don't forget to be bringing a damn four-wheel drive up here, better yet, a truck.” Ember sighed, patting her friend's shoulder.  “You miss Chris, don't you?” She smiled, knowing exactly how that felt.  “We could always cook dinner, have the fire roaring, you know...we are in a cabin, all alone, with our men coming back...” She smiled.  “Okay, enough of that, Mark best be coming DAMN soon.  OUCH!”

“Ready for another mongrel so soon?” She teased and stood up as she raked a hand through her hair.  “I think we should cook them something to welcome them home.” She smiled and began pulling pots and pans out, setting them on the counter, and took out an apple juice, wishing to god it was a wine cooler.  Being cooped up in this cabin for the past five months was driving her nuts and she wanted nothing more than to see the real world again.  In other words, Jalise was experiencing SEVERE cabin fever.

Ember was feeling the same way.  “Let me pop the monster in bed.” She said, gesturing to the now sleeping Gavin.  She disappeared long enough to put him in his crib-he'd long outgrown his bassinet-and returned, in jeans and a sweater.  “I hope you've learnt from me and decided that breast feeding is over-rated.” She laughed, rifling through the refrigerator.  “Chicken or steak honey?  And I mean steak like from a cow too.”

“Steak, I think Chris would enjoy that along with Mark.” She replied softly, rubbing her stomach again, still amazed she was actually carrying and growing a human being inside of her.  It was completely unbelievable.  She smiled softly as they started cooking the dinner, talking about Jalise's baby shower.  They were only inviting a choice few Divas and flying them from all different directions incase Steve was tracking them.  No matter what, Jalise wasn't taking any chances.

“I think they would too.  Some baked potatoes slathered in butter and sour cream...” She was hungry just from talking about it.  “I'm never going to lose the baby weight at this rate, damn it.” She grumbled, slicing up bacon for the green beans.  “Any ideas yet about a name?” Ember made idle chatter, keeping Jalise's mind off of her problems. Namely Steve and the cabin fever, or at least trying to keep her mind off of them.

“I was thinking Alex Jacob for a boy and Jastina Michelle for a girl.” She answered, taking the steaks out of their packaging and placing them on baking pans.  They didn't have a grill so this would have to be the next big thing.  She smiled softly at the thought of Chris's reaction when she told him about the names.  He simply said he didn't care what they were or their names, just as long as they were healthy.  ‘No wonder I love him so much.’ She thought before sprinkling seasoning on the steaks.

“Mmm...Jastina, I like that.” Ember murmured, now beginning to clean the potatoes.  “I'm thinking if Mark and I have a girl next, maybe calling her Lalina.” She glanced out the window, smiling.  “The snow is stopping.”

“Thank god too, it's fucking cold out there.”

“No kiddin'.” Mark grunted, brushing snow out of his hair.

Jalise whipped around, their backs had been turned to the door, and her eyes instantly lit up at the sight of Chris, the father of her child.  She set the spoon down that was stirring the vegetables, which were dipped in butter, and made a beeline for Chris, jumping into his arms, passionately kissing him.  He was finally home and she was thrilled.

Chris chuckled against her lips, his arms wrapped tightly around her and returned the kiss just as passionately.  He laughed softly when it was broke, pressing his forehead to hers.  “I missed you too.” He murmured his blue eyes boring into hers.  He kissed her again before dropping down onto his knees, pressing his hands to either side of her belly.  “How's the baby?” He asked, resting his head against her stomach.

“Active, very active.” She replied with a smile, shaking her head as Chris starting softly berating the unborn child, shaking his finger.  It was too adorable as she giggled, covering her mouth to try to stifle them.  “Honey, it can't understand what you're saying.” She informed, giggling when he just gave her a look before going back to doing it.  Jalise just sighed resigned and stood there, running her fingers through his short, spiked blonde hair, allowing him to do what he wanted with her stomach.

Chris chuckled, finally pulling himself off the floor and onto his feet.  “I think he or she can, if not, well at least they'll know the sound of my voice, right?” He reasoned, pulling a face when he seen his friends.  “Out of the kitchen.”

“Shut up.” Ember shooed her husband out of the kitchen, smoothing down her hair.

“They're cookin'.” Mark grinned, winking knowingly at Jalise before heading off to see his son.

Jalise just shook her head and kissed Chris softly before guiding him into the living room area of the cabin.  “You had a long flight.  Just relax and watch TV while we finish cooking.” She kissed him once more before walking into the kitchen, a bright smile on her face as she started stirring the vegetables again, humming softly under her breath.

“Yeah, that's what I thought.” Ember smirked at her friend, knowing how happy Jalise was now that Chris was back.  The two were so perfect for each other it was a bit scary.

Mark walked back out with his now awake son, smiling proudly and dropped down in a chair.  “You give it to her yet?” He asked softly so the women couldn't overhear, wincing when his son yanked handfuls of hair.

“Not yet, I will though.” Chris murmured, taking Gavin and bouncing him on his knee.  “Were you a good boy?”

The baby's beautiful emerald green eyes just stared up at Chris in wonder, shrugging his shoulders, causing Mark to chuckle as he turned on ESPN.  Gavin's attention immediately went to the television; he was truly his father's son.

Jalise just rolled her eyes as she pulled the rolls out of the oven and placed them on the stove to cool before starting to set the table.  She pulled the baby's highchair over, placing it by Ember's seat before starting to set food out.  She smiled when a pair of arms snaked around her waist and leaned back against his chest, sighing in contentment.  “You're supposed to relaxing...” She murmured quietly.

“I am.” Chris purred in her ear.  “This relaxes me.” He had every intention of proposing to her, just not when he had an audience.  He wanted it to at least be somewhat romantic.  “You feel good.” He whispered, burying his face in her hair.  “I could stay like this forever.  Not here, but with you, holding you...that's my idea of heaven.”

Jalise couldn't stop smiling as she closed her eyes, savoring this moment for what it was worth.  Living in a cabin with hardly any privacy was killing her as she slowly turned around to face him, caressing his face with her hand.  “I'm going back on the road with you...” Before Chris could argue, she pressed her finger to his lips.  “Don't.  I miss you, I love you, and nobody can protect me better than you.  I can't stay here anymore; I'm starting to get bed sores, Chris.  Please.” Her midnight blue eyes were pleading him to understand and to let her make her own decisions in life.

Chris sighed and nodded.  “It's your choice Jalise, I'm not going to make you do anything or live your life for you.” He said softly.  “But I wish you wouldn't, I'd just sleep better knowing he couldn't get to you.” He stared down at her.  “I know you trust me to protect you, and I want to promise I can, but I'm not sure...” He was man enough to admit he might not be able to always keep watch over her and hoped she could understand that.

“I know that sweetheart, nothing is going to happen, trust me.” She smiled, kissing him softly.  “I'll stay at the hotels and make sure the doors and windows are locked while you're wrestling.  I can't stay cooped up any longer though, I'm gonna end up going insane.” She was speaking quietly just as Ember walked in, holding the steaks on a platter.  “I guess dinner is served.”

“Damn straight.” Ember grinned, dropping down at the table as Mark placed Gavin in his high chair.  “I know you're not-” She groaned when he mashed up a potato and began feeding their only six month old son.

“Darlin', look, he likes them and you know what the doctor said.”

“Well, at least we're not like them.” Chris commented, pulling out a chair for Jalise, seating her with a loving smile.  He sat down beside him, reaching to take her hand and squeezed.  “We'll talk tonight?”

“Sure.” Jalise answered softly with a smile as she served Chris, enjoying it and laughing while Mark fed Gavin mashed potatoes.  She simply shook her head while they all made small chatter, mostly about the road and what was going on.  Jalise was pleased to know that Steve had stopped brutalizing Chris now that she was off the road with him.  She sighed when she heard John had mostly kept to himself and was still the champion.  “One day you'll be champ baby, I have all the faith in the world.” She grinned before taking a bite of steak.

“I’m already king of the world.” Chris chuckled, staring at her meaningfully.  He caught Mark's eye and grinned, shaking his head and just laughed, taking a sip of his water before starting in on his food.  Now that he was back with Jalise, he was famished.  He'd eaten on the road but hadn't actually been hungry, just ate out of force of habit.  Life didn't have the zest it usually did when she wasn't around.

Jalise ended up consuming two steaks along with the other sidings, finally leaning back in her chair and patting her stomach.  She grinned when Chris just stared at her open mouthed and laughed, shaking her head.  “What?  I'm eating for TWO, if you haven't forgotten.” She smirked when he simply went back to eating and stood up, starting to help Ember clear the table.

“Hey man, if it's any consolation, Emmy ate the same way too.”

“And...”

“And I love every bit of her.”

“I HEARD that!”

“Yer not fat!”

Chris decided this was one he was NOT getting into.  Though maybe he should listen and see how it played out, either pick up what to do's or what not to do.

Jalise's eyes narrowed to slits as she stomped back in and actually got in Mark's face.  “So women who carry children for NINE fucking months that YOU bastards make are FAT?” She demanded angrily, eyes lighting on fire as she crossed her arms in front of her chest when he just gaped at her.  “You know what, go stick a shovel up your ass Deadman and bury yourself six feet under!!!  Your wife is not fat, she's gorgeous, you no good asshole!!” She then stomped out of the kitchen and into her and Chris's bedroom, slamming the door behind her so hard, the hinges nearly broke and made the windows shake.

Ember hadn't even said anything, just stood there with wide eyes as Jalise burst out.  She'd of given Mark the tongue lashing, knowing he didn't mean she was fat-fat, just...well, she knew what he meant even if he did botch it up, badly.  “Chris…”

Chris was already on his feet, patting mark on the shoulder on his way by the bedroom.  “Honey, that guy is in shock...you shoulda let us videotape it.” He said softly, walking over to kneel down in front of her.  “Jalise, he didn't mean Em was fat.  You know Mark; the man would trip over his tongue.”

Chapter 8

“I don't care!!  That was mean and arrogant for him to say!!” She cried out at him, the tears pouring down her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands, shaking her head back and forth repeatedly.  “What's happening to me, Chris?” She sobbed, not believing how out of control her emotions were; she was used to being in control of them.  “This is not normal!!”

Chris got into the nightstand next to the bed, pulling out her copy of  ‘What To Expect When You're Expecting’ and moved so he was sitting on the bed beside her, wrapping one arm around Jalise and using the other hand to flick through the pages.  Finally he found the part he wanted and began reading softly to her, explaining the hormonal changes.  “It's not you baby, it's just your body's chemicals and hormones adjusting for the baby.” He soothed, kissing her temple.

Sniffling and leaning against his side, Jalise closed her eyes as she wiped her tears away gently, just enjoying being close to him.  “I really don't like it.  I hate not being able to control my emotions.” She sighed heavily, raking a hand through her black hair, and stared up into his clear blue eyes that were full of love and understanding.  “Thank you for being so patient with me.” She softly said, caressing his face with the back of her hand, a small smile curving her lips.

“Of course.” Chris whispered.  “I love you; I'm always going to be patient.” He flashed a crooked, adorable smile.  “Though I'm going to admit it since Mark can't hear me and kill me, when you told him to shove a shovel up his dead ass, he looked hilarious...his jaw dropped, eyes bulging out.” He kissed her, rubbing his nose against hers.  “You're feisty, I love it.”

Jalise started giggling in spite of herself, the image of Mark's green eyes bugging out of his skull as she yelled at him flowing through her mind.  “We should've put that on America's Funniest Home Videos.” She laughed harder, pressing her forehead to his, and let it die gently as she cupped his face in her soft hands.  “Do you think we'll always be this happy?” She asked out of nowhere, her heart needing to know the answer for some unknown reason.

He frowned slightly, staring down at her and took her hands in his, squeezing gently.  “I wish I could say yes but that's not likely.  I can't promise we'll always be this happy Jalise, I'm sure we'll have our highs and lows, just like any other couple.  I can promise you that I'm never going to stop loving you or trying to make you happy though.” He stared into her eyes, wondering what had brought this on.  “Jalise, is something wrong baby?”

“No nothing.  I was...I just had to hear that.” She replied, sighing as she stood up from the bed and began pacing gently back and forth.  “After everything that happened with Steve and John...I'm just...scared I guess.  I'm scared this won't last, that I'll get hurt again...that something will tear us apart that's out of our control.” She couldn't believe how much she was opening up to him; she didn't even do this with John and Steve, which proved she loved Chris more than anything.

Chris smiled, encouraging her silently to continue, nodding when she didn't.  “Jalise, nothing is going to tear us apart, we're for life, remember?” He stood up and took her in his arms, stopping her pacing.  “I love you and nothing is going to change that.” He guided her down onto the bed, kneeling before her and smiled again, reaching into his back pocket. He extended a simple black ring box.  “Jalise, will you marry me?” He asked; hope shining in his blue eyes.

“A surprising gasp escaped her lips as Jalise stared down at the box, blinking rapidly, the tears building up in her midnight blue orbs as she shakily reached out, taking it.  “Chris…” She couldn't say anything more as a huge lump formed in her throat and flipped the lid of the box up, staring down at the beautiful ring before her.  It was a simple three stoned diamond ring set on a silver band, her favorite.  She hated gold. 

After studying it for what seemed like an eternity, she finally pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it on her right ring finger, knowing it'd go on her left when they were married.

Chris let out the pent up breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding when she slipped the ring on, another smile-this time this one of relief-breaking across his face.  “I know you said you wanted to get married before we had kids but it's a little late for that.” He said.  “Unless you want to have a shotgun wedding.  If not, we can hold off till the baby is here.”

“Whatever is best for you, sweetheart.” She simply replied, gazing down at the beautiful ring on her finger, a smile never leaving her face.  She kissed his lips softly and walked out of the room, glowing, and walked right up to Ember, showing off the three stoned diamond ring.  “HE PROPOSED!!!”

Ember looked up from the magazine she'd been rereading for the umpteenth time, jumping to her feet to take Jalise's hand, studying the ring.  “Oh my god!  This is beautiful!” She hugged her friend tightly, well, not tight enough to hurt the little bundle of joy.  “I'm so thrilled for you, Jalise!  Oh this ring...it's gorgeous...and it's so damn you!” She pulled Jalise down onto the couch so she could study the ring in comfort, with the light.  “So when's the date?”

Jalise ignored Mark's grunt as she practically was pulled to sit on him, shrugging her shoulders as the happy tears fell.  “I don't know!!  I can't believe I'm getting married!!” She squealed, acting like a teenager again, feeling her heart lift a little more with hope that everything would work out between her and Chris.  “I want you to be my maid or honor or matron.  Whatever it's called.” She grinned through blurred visions, her hormones taking over again.

“Matron.” Mark said finally.  “She's a married ol' biddy.”

“I am indeed.”

“Darlin', I'm happy fer ya both.” He stared at Jalise, his green eyes searching hers.  “An' I didn't mean what I said earlier, I shouldn't of said it at all.  Forgive me, darlin'?”

Chris was peeking out from around the corner, holding a white handkerchief, his eyes sparkling cheerfully.  “Is it safe?” He asked amusedly.

“It's okay, Mark.  I shouldn't have reacted that way.  It's these damn hormones.” She started crying again, feeling horrible for what she said to the big man, and sniffled as she buried her face in his chest, clutching his shirt with her hands.  “You're the perfect man for her and you treat her right.  I'm so glad you two ended up together, you two were made for each other...like Chris and I were.” She slowly looked up at her fiancé and held her hands out, needing him at the moment.

Chris instantly took his place, taking her hand in his and squeezing reassuringly.

Mark-who had been uncomfortable when his wife started with the hormones but was now an old pro, mostly-actually looked a bit uncomfortable, that might've been because his shirt was beginning to rip.

“Babe, as sexy as Emmy undoubtedly finds the old man, might want to loosen up on his shirt.”

“Oh-sorry...” She smiled apologetically back at him, loosening the shirt, and leaned against Chris as she sighed heavily.  A yawn escaped her lips as she slowly stood up from the couch, yawning as she rubbed her tired eyes.  “I'm going to bed, are you coming?” She asked, smiling softly when Chris immediately stood up, taking her hand.  They walked down the hallway and walked in the room, closing the door behind them. 

For hours, Chris made slow, passionate love to her, making her feel like she was the only woman in his life.  When they were both spent, Jalise closed her eyes and held his hand close to heart, hoping nobody ripped them apart.

~*~*~*~

“No, we haven't set a date yet, so don't even ask.” Chris said before Mark could ask.  He knew the older man was wondering why the hell they weren't hitched yet.  “Come on old timer, we're not all old fashioned like you.”

“Nothin' wrong in marryin' the woman a'fore the baby gets here.”

“Don't go there Callaway, we all know why you married Emmy as quick as you could.  You were afraid she'd change her mind about mixing business with pleasure.” John Cena said, smirking when Mark just shrugged.

“You cocksucker!”

“Between the two of you, I don't know who is worse honestly.” Jalise said from behind as she walked up, her near seven month old pregnant belly sticking out like a sore thumb.  Everyone knew her and Chris were engaged and going to have a baby together.  A secret was not kept for long in the WWE family, no matter how hard one tried.  A frown marred her features as she looked at Chris and sighed, examining his head that was wrapped heavily in gauze.  “Did another one happen?” She asked quietly.

“Don't worry about it.” Chris said quickly.  “I'm fine.” He glanced at Mark, sighing inwardly at the other man's nod.  He knew Mark would remain silent.  He then glanced at John who had somewhat become a part of the group since helping Ember when she'd had the baby.  How the hell that had happened would forever be beyond him.

John glanced at the bandage around Chris' head, frowning quizzically.  “Come to think of it, you've been sporting one of those about every week, what the hell's going on?”

“Kid keeps walkin' into doors.” Mark grumbled, obviously lying.

“Oh, another Hardy.” John wasn’t buying it, but decided not to press the issue.

“I-I need to go back to work.” Jalise quietly said and turned, walking away from her group of family and friends. 

John had become her friend-in a weird sort of way.  She couldn't explain it and didn't even want to attempt to try.  She sighed heavily and leaned against the wall, the baby was being active today and she wondered why.  Tears slowly slid down her cheeks when one of the baby's tiny feet lodged in her ribcage, not believing how rapidly fast it was growing.  They decided to wait to find out the sex of the baby at delivery and stuck with cream and lavender colored items when shopping for their unborn child.

“What the hell was that for?” John demanded when Mark slapped him upside the head.

“To remind ya to keep yer damn mouth shut, Cena.”

Chris followed Jalise, his head throbbing but he didn't show it.  He was getting more then sick and tired of being attacked every week and would have given his eye teeth to find out who was doing it but so far...all he knew was he kept waking up in the trainer's room.  “Jalise, honey, are you alright?” He asked softly, rubbing her stomach when he seen her grimace.

“Yeah...I just...need...to breathe...” She managed to gasp out, smiling up at him in reassurance.  His rubbing slowly helped the foot dislodge from her ribcage and she sighed with relief, actually leaning against him for support.  “I hope we're not having twins...” She joked, kissing his cheek softly as a thank you.  “What time is your match?”

“In ten minutes.” Chris murmured, not too keen on performing.  He was certain he had a concussion, not cool.  His blue eyes filled with both concern and humor at her words, very protective of Jalise with her being nearly seven months pregnant as well as everything happening around them.  “Twins, maybe we'd get lucky and have one boy, one girl.” He kissed the top of her head.  “Are you sure you're alright, babe?  I don't have to perform tonight; we could just go back to the hotel and kick back.  I'll give you a rub down...”

“As tempting as that offer is, Vince will have your head on a silver platter if you don't go out there and perform, sweets.” Jalise replied, stroking his face tenderly with her hand and kissed his lips.  “I'm fine, one of the joys of being pregnant.” She patted his face to reassure him.  “I gotta run Vince wanted me back to go over some storylines.  See you in a bit and be careful.” She cautioned before jetting off, as fast as her five month old pregnant self would let her.

Chris sighed.  Vince would have his head on a silver platter huh?  Well the way things were going, his head would be rolling off his shoulders and onto a platter of its own accord.  He made his way to the gorilla position wondering if there was more to Jalise then what she was saying.  What did he know about pregnancies?  He was fairly certain there was something wrong that she wasn't telling him, something more then being pregnant.

John caught Jalise before accidentally plowing into her as he rounded the corner.  “Sorry.” He mumbled.

Jalise grunted a bit, having hit his chest with her own, and slowly looked up into his blue eyes with a soft smile.  “No harm done, John.” She assured before slowly pulling herself out of his arms, tucking a strand of black hair behind her ear, biting her bottom lip.

John stared down at her, his blue eyes unreadable as his gaze moved down to her protruding belly.  “The little one...giving you grief?” He finally asked, meeting her eyes again.  It was awkward to say the least.  This was his ex-girlfriend.  The woman who'd broken his heart and his head on the same night.  The woman he'd treated like shit and loved more then anything.  Yeah, awkward.

“Yeah, I can't wait for the delivery.  The damn foot won't stop getting lodged in my ribcage.  It makes it hard to breathe when that happens.” She explained softly, wondering why she was saying this to her ex-boyfriend of all people.  “You better go get ready for your match.  Good luck and be careful.” She cautioned again before walking past him and down the hallway, raking a hand through her hair. 

What the Hell was going on lately? 

It was almost as if Jalise was actually welcoming John into their little tight knit group with open arms, wanting to forget about everything that’d transpired between them those three years ago.  She sighed heavily and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes, and raked a hand through her hair.  Things were getting more insane and weird by the minute, something Jalise wasn’t too keen on.  Factor in that Steve hadn’t even attempted to make a move on her since she returned nearly two months ago.  Something was going to happen, she could feel it in her bones, and Jalise just hoped she was strong enough to survive whatever was coming.

Chapter 9

John's match was against Chris.  How screwed was this?  He stared at the man across the ring from him, feeling like he'd be a jackass if he took advantage of this and a fool if he didn't.  He sighed and locked up with the injured man.  First off, Chris was engaged to Jalise, there was something to smile over!  Second, he was injured.  God...what the hell was going on?

“No, no I can't do it, Vince!!  I'm pregnant!!  I…” Jalise couldn't believe this as she was pushed toward the gorilla position.  “This isn’t in my contract!!” She shrieked, hoping someone would stop the security guards from shoving her through the curtain.  Vince was going to get his way, she knew, but couldn't it wait until AFTER she wasn't a big as a beach ball?  She groaned and was shoved through the curtain, walking slowly down the ramp way, a concerned look on her face when she seen John beating her fiancé down to practically nothing.

John looked up when he seen Jalise, a frown on his face.  What the hell was she doing out here?  He stood up and walked over to the ropes, leaning over to shout at her.  “Get in the back, Jalise, you're pregnant woman!” Yes, he was beating down Chris, which was his job.  No, he wasn't going to see her get hurt.

Chris didn't even realize Jalise was down there, his head was throbbing and his vision blurred.  He made out the sight of John's back and speared him, sending John flying over the ropes.

John landed right on top of the pregnant woman.

Jalise screamed in pain when John landed on top of her, the air driven from her lungs and body.  She didn't feel him get off of her as her body curled up in a tight ball, the pain too much for her to bear.  With one last glance up at the arena lights, Jalise's body went stiff before the darkness swept over her.

The referee instantly hopped out of the ring and went toward the fallen woman, seeing a stricken and shocked John Cena standing over her, and immediately summoned for the EMT's to get their asses down there.  She was hurt and badly.  They rushed down and got her on the stretcher, strapping her down as the blood coated the white fabric of the bedding.  The ref's heart almost stopped when he looked down from where the blood had come from, seeing a pool of it lying on the mat below, right where she'd fallen.

“Jalise?  Jalise!” Chris screamed when he seen his fiancée, flying out the ring quicker then he should have.  Tears unabashedly ran down his face as he followed the medics up the ramp, not caring who seen him cry.

John stood there, staring at the blood, ignoring everything happening around him.  Finally he looked down at himself, seeing blood staining his own clothing and had to vacant, before he threw up.

“Sir you have to stand back so we can tend to her!!” The paramedic shouted when Chris was getting too close, trying to inject an IV into her arm while putting a breathing bag over her mouth.  Her pulse wasn't weak, that was good along with her heart.  Though all of them what had happened to make the blood appear. 

The woman had lost the child she was carrying.

Chris shook his head, trying to deny what had happened.  He just stood away from them, looking around blankly.  This did not just happen.  It had to be a dream.  A nightmare.  Jalise did not just...his tear filled blue eyes landed on John Cena who was staring at the spot on the ground stained with blood.  The other man looked like he was currently not residing on planet earth.  Anger filled Chris, all he wanted to do was take out his frustrations on Cena.  The man...who...who did nothing.  Chris had been the one to push him...not the other way around.  With an anguished howl, Chris dropped down onto his knees.

Not caring if he was in character or not, Mark rushed down the ramp way to the ring, seeing Chris on his knees, crying.  He didn't blame the man.  If the shoe were on the other foot, Mark would've probably killed anything and anyone that got in his way.  He thanked his lucky stars Ember hadn't lost their child and they'd been careful.  Though, Ember wasn't forced by Vince McMahon to go down to the ring and attempt to interfere in one of his matches.  “If you wanna kill someone man, kill Vince.  It was his idea and he had security shove her through the curtains.” He informed Chris as he hoisted him up, knowing the man didn't have the strength in his legs to walk at the moment.

Ember was waiting backstage when Mark appeared, carrying Chris, having sent Gavin back to the hotel with one of her friends.  “Mark...is he in shock?” She murmured, the stretcher having already been wheeled by.  Her eyes were rimmed red from tears she had yet to cry, her face pale.  Jalise had lost the baby...she couldn't believe it.

John trailed behind everyone, still looking lost.

Mark just nodded, slowly setting Chris down in a nearby chair, and walked over as he kissed her lips softly.  “I'm gonna go get the car.  He can't drive right now.” He then took off down the hallway to get their things along with the keys, knowing Gavin was in safe hands back at the hotel.  Mark wanted to rip John's head off, but at the same time, it wasn't the man's fault.  He'd been shoved inadvertently by Chris and slammed into Jalise.  The only person who was at fault was Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Speak of the Devil and he arrived.  Vince appeared, looking anxiously back and forth between the three people, glad Mark was nowhere in sight  “Look, Chris, obviously that wasn't meant to happen and...” He let out a strangled cry when Chris jumped him.  “Get him off me!”

“John, get him off!” Ember shrieked.  “He'll kill him!”

“Good.” John replied coldly, meaning it.

Ember wanted to see Vince dead as much as the next person, but not at Chris going to prison.

Slowly sauntering up to the group, Mark simply crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked down at Vince, his emerald green eyes blazing with anger.  “Now,” He began eerily, squatting down so he was staring directly into the man's eyes.  How does it feel to not have yer life under yer control, Vinnie?” He practically growled and finally lost his temper when Vince began whimpering he was sorry.  “SORRY?  YER FUCKIN' SORRY?  THAT POOR WOMAN HAS BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK IN THIS FUCKIN' COMPANY BECAUSE OF YER SORRY ASS IDEAS AND YER SORRY?!  SHE LOST HER BABY, YA FUCKIN' BASTARD!!  YA COST HER THE LIFE OF HER UNBORN CHILD AND YER SORRY?!” Everyone was surrounding them now in the hallway, Mark's voice was so loud it could probably be heard over the interstate.

Before he husband could kill the boss, Ember pulled him back.  “Mark, don't hurt him...” She pleaded, tears streaking down her face.  Vince had ruined so many lives already and this was the icing on the cake.  He had caused a woman to lose her baby on live television all for the sake of his ratings!  “I want to do it.” She promptly kicked Vince between the legs as hard as she could, repeatedly.

“We need to go see Jalise.” John said finally, snapping out of his daze, watching Em with no emotion in his eyes.

Chris could only nod, gasping and breathing through the pain in his chest.  It was like all color had drained from the world, all feeling, everything except this piercing pain in his chest where his heart should have been.

“Buried Alive match.  You and me old man at the next pay-per-view.  I'm gonna show you what happens when you FUCK with MY family.” He then released the boss, who was writhing in pain, holding his balls with both hands courtesy of Ember's foot planting in them.  Mark smirked coldly when Vince barely gasped out the word yes to his demand and stalked down the hallway, all his anger radiating from the pores of his body.  He was going to kill Vince in that match and enjoy every damn second of it.

The ride to the hospital was virtually silent except for the heart wrenching sobs that escaped Chris' throat.  Not that anyone cared, he could cry all he wanted, he could cry for them as well since everyone else was trying to hold it in and be strong.  Once at the hospital, Chris let John force him into washing his face.

“She's going to be upset enough if she's not drugged.” John said in a monotone voice.  “You need to be the strong one and carry her.”

“I killed our child.” Chris whispered painfully.

John wasn't arguing that point.

A few hours later, Jalise slowly opened her eyes, the noises of machines beeping sounding around her.  She groaned, sore from head to toe, and wondered what happened.  The memory came rushing back to what happened out in the ring.  Tears burned her eyes as she slowly reached her hand down and felt her stomach, which was flat.  Closing her eyes shut once more, Jalise felt the tears run down her face.  She knew what had happened even before the darkness consumed her after being fell on.  She'd lost her and Chris's baby.

Chris kept watch over Jalise while she slept, refusing to take shifts with anyone else. So they wound up taking shifts besides him.  Mark would sit there stonily, his eyes on the sleeping woman, cracking his knuckles repeatedly.  Ember would fret about the room straightening things, checking on Jalise, whatever it took to keep her mind from shutting her down.  John...John would just sit at the foot of the bed with an intense expression on his face, staring at the woman, not looking anywhere but her.  All Chris did was lean against the wall and stare at his fiancée and cry, stroke her hand, her face, anything, and cry.

Right now, Mark, Ember and John were gone, having went to the cafeteria for some coffee.  Chris's head was lying on her stomach, his eyes closed, and his breathing steady.  He was sleeping and as she peered closer, she could tell he'd been crying.  More silent tears ran down her face as she slowly began stroking his hair, not believing what had happened.  She didn't know who landed on her and didn't blame them.  The only person she blamed for this was herself for being stupid enough to actually allow Vince to force her to go down to the ring.  ‘I could've quit, I could've told him to go fuck himself, I could've prevented this...and I didn't.’ She thought, berating herself mentally as the tears intensified.

Chris raised his hand when he felt somebody touching him, raising his bloodshot, swollen eyes to Jalise's face.  “Thank god...” He breathed, seeing her awake and caught her hand in his, bringing it to his lips.  He planted fervent kisses over her palm, closing his eyes and resting her hand against his unshaven cheek.  When he finally opened his eyes again, his vivid blue orb were swimming in tears.  He straightened himself up and gently pulled her into his arms, careful so he wouldn't hurt her anymore then he already had.  “I'm so sorry, baby.” He whispered in her ear, running a hand up and down her back, feeling her spine through the thin hospital gown.

“I-It's n-not y-your f-fault…” She stammered out through heart wrenching sobs, holding her fiancé as close as she could, her face buried in his neck.  “I-It's m-mine…” Her voice was barely above a whisper as he stroked her back, crying harder than she ever had in her life.  Even after finding out Steve raped her, Jalise had never cried like this.  She lost their baby, she killed a piece of her that she could never get back.  How was she supposed to cope with this after everything else that had happened to her?

“It's my fault, Jalise, don't blame yourself.  I didn't see you there, all I seen was John and I shoved him flying over the ropes.” Chris confessed, unable to let her bear this burden, especially when she had done no wrong.  “I should have realized somebody was there but I didn't...I'm sorry baby, so very, very sorry.” He felt her hot tears beating down on his neck, his heart and gut both giving painful wretches at the same time.

“No...I-I c-could've s-stopped it...I c-could've q-quit...I-I let t-this h-happen when I could've p-prevented it...” She could barely get the words out just as the door opened, causing her to slowly look over Chris's shoulder, seeing Mark, Ember and surprisingly John standing there.  She sniffled a bit and slowly pulled back, leaning against the headboard of the hospital bed.  “Hi.” She whispered by way of greeting, staring at all three with bloodshot and red rimmed eyes.

Ember wanted to rush to her best friend and hug her, but her husband discreetly held her back.  She knew why he did it, to keep her from hurting Jalise anymore.  She almost asked, how are you feeling, but knew that would be the dumbest thing ever.  How was the woman feeling?  Like she'd just lost her baby, that’s how.

“Is this a bad time?” John finally spoke up, his eyes for Jalise alone, sorrow in his.  He would never be able to tell her how sorry he was for costing her the baby, fuck Chris...his grief was for Jalise only.

“I don't blame you, John...” She softly said, weakly raking a hand through her hair as she leaned her head back, staring up at the ceiling.  The sobs had subsided for now, she had to be strong, and she had to put up a front again.  “It's my fault.” She held up her hand when they all began arguing with her and shook her head.  “It is.  I could've quit, I could've told that old bastard to go fuck himself.  I could've done SOMETHING.  I could've fought off the security, I could've prevented this...and I didn't.” She closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths to calm down.  “I don't even blame McMahon...”

“You should.” John said after everyone had mostly recovered from their shock at her words.  “If you hadn't done it, he would've fired Chris and had him blackballed from everything he loves.”

Chris glared at John, this wasn't helping.

“Don't blame yourself Jalise, it wasn't your fault.  You didn't know what could have happened out there.  It was mine and Chris' job to make sure you didn't hurt.  We're the ones responsible for what happens out in that ring.”

“You two didn't know I was coming out to the ring, John.” She argued promptly and sighed heavily as she slowly opened her eyes and actually let out a croak of a laugh.

Chapter 10

“It wasn't meant to be.  I wasn't meant to be a mother.  I wasn't meant to be anything but a cold hearted bitch that hurts everything and everyone I touch.” She wiped a few stray tears away from her eyes and placed her hands on her flattened stomach.  “It was nobody's fault, but my own for not leaving this wretched company as soon as I found out I was pregnant.”

Chris shook his head, taking her face gently in his hands, forcing her to look at him.  “It's no one's fault, Jalise.  If now wasn't the time, it wasn't the time.” He whispered, pressing his forehead to hers.  “You don't destroy everything you touch, you bring warmth and love to everything you look at baby.  We can't always control everything.” His need to comfort her was greater then his need to grieve and go kill McMahon.

“No Chris, I destroy everything and everyone I touch.” She stated, pulling her face out of his hands, and pointed at John.  “He's the perfect example.  I screwed him over royally in front of a national, worldwide audience all for my own revenge.  I hurt him and I hurt Steve...even though the bastard has more than a few screws loose.” She snorted, sniffling a bit, and looked down at the blanket with such sorrow.  “I destroy whatever I touch, Chris...I destroyed you by losing our child.  I nearly destroyed Em's and mine friendship, but she's kind enough to forgive me.” Her voice was monotone, not having the strength to yell.

“You haven't destroyed me, Jalise.” Chris assured her, the words flowing out of his mouth, his mind on autopilot as all needs but one were forced to the side.  “I love you and I'm still here, we'll pick up the pieces the way we always do, together.”

John watched them almost curiously, wondering exactly who was the more crazier.

“Jalise, don't give up yet.” Chris pleaded, his voice cracking.

Jalise looked back at John with those tear-filled midnight blue eyes, silently telling him she didn't blame him for the loss of her child, and looked back at Chris.  “Okay.” What else she could she say?  Seriously.  No matter what she said or did, Chris wouldn't give up hope on them so why should she?.  “I've never given up on us, Chris.” She softly said and leaned over, kissing his lips and finally turned her attention to Ember.  “Come here honey, I know you want a hug.”

Ember was out of her husband's arms in a flash, tenderly hugging Jalise.  She didn't say a word because nothing she could say would ever ease this hurt, all she could do was be there for her friend.

Chris finally paid the room's other occupants attention, his eyes straying first to mark then onto John.

John just nodded, slipping out of the room.

Jalise let a few more tears slip from her eyes, but nothing like she had when it happened with Chris just a few moments ago.  “It's alright, Em.  I'll be fine.  It just wasn't meant to be right now.” She murmured soothingly, knowing the woman was probably thanking her lucky stars that Gavin had been born without any problems.  Then again, Ember had been smart by staying at home after finding out she was pregnant.  That and Mark wouldn't have had it any other way.  “I'll be okay.” She slowly pulled back and wiped her tears away, snuggling back in her bed.  “I'll be...okay…” Her eyes drooped closed before finally allowing the sleep to claim her exhausted and sore body.

“Come on, let her sleep.” Mark whispered, pulling the two away.  “Chris, why don't you go to the visitor's lounge and curl up on the couch, man.  I know you ain't slept a wink since we got here.”  It showed on the younger man's face.  “Jalise is gonna be fine, son, just let her rest.  You ain't goin' to be any use to her if yer dead on your feet, now go sleep.  Ember, let her alone, she's asleep and don't need you fussin' over her.  You go do somethin' too, go clean the bathrooms if you have too, just let the gal alone.”

When everyone was out of the room, Jalise turned to face Mark and nodded.  “Thank you.” She whispered before turning back over and stared at the wall.  She just wanted to be alone right now.  She couldn't look at Chris without feeling sick, knowing she'd let him down.  “How are we going to bounce back from this?” She whispered to herself, letting the tears flow, finally letting her true feelings out as she curled up in a tight ball and just sobbed her heart out to the darkened hospital room.

Mark hadn't left, he heard her whispered words and heart wrenching sobs.  He didn't make a sound as he slipped from the room, the door closing silently behind him.  The big man leaned against the wall and lowered his head, tears sliding down his nose.

“Is she going to be alright?” John asked when he seen Ember sitting in the lobby.

Ember halted, looking at him.  “Physically, of course.  Mentally, only time is going to tell.  Thanks John, for being here for her.  I'm sure you had a million other things to do.”

“Nothing that wasn't as important as this.”

A few days later, Jalise was released from the hospital and back on the road with the WWE.  Vince had given her a nice raise, his way of apologizing.  She decided to keep it, but quit on him any way, refusing to apart of his company that cost her so much over the years.

~*~*~*~

As the months progressed, Jalise stayed at the hotels, cooped up, not wanting to go out.  She'd started wearing a lot more black, especially her make up, her mask as she liked to call it.  Depression had taken over and Jalise had every reason to be, not to mention she knew she was slowly pushing Chris away.  They hadn’t made love since she lost the baby.  There was really no point in it according to Jalise so whenever he was in the mood, she would make up some excuse or flat out lie to him, saying she was on her period or she wasn’t feeling well.  She didn't know what day it was or where they were headed, just followed like a lost puppy looking for some means of escape.  Jalise barely spoke to anyone, not even Chris, keeping all of her emotions bottled up inside, and started growing fond of drinking.  She'd never do drugs, but drinking was a completely different story.

~*~*~*~

“I don't know what to say to her, Em. I'm totally lost...” Chris confided, laying on his stomach as Ember worked the kinks out of his back, wincing when she reached his arm, the part of his body that had plagued him consistently over the last few weeks.  He’d gone to her when he couldn’t get Jalise to come around, looking for advice on what to do, how to get his Jalise back.  “She refuses to put down the bottle...”

“She's grievin' Chris.” Em murmured, her eyes narrowed as she worked.  “I'm concerned about her too darlin', but I don't know what to tell you.” She had seen Jalise's new look, seen how much she drank.  She'd be a liar if she said she wasn't concerned.  “You gotta find a way to get through to her, show her you still love her.”

Chris just buried his face in the bedding and shook his head back and forth.

~*~*~*~

“Steve, I really am not in the mood...” Jalise warned when she looked up from the table that was in the hotel's restaurant.  This was the absolute LAST person she wanted to see at the moment.  “Seriously, go fuck with someone else, get bent, and just get the fuck away.” She ordered, downing another shot of Tequila Rose, her new best friend it seemed.

Steve signaled for his bottle of Jack Daniels to be brought over.  He wasn't usually a whiskey man, liquor man period, but on the rare occasion, he liked something a bit stronger.  “Now, now Jalise, ain't my fault ya lost yer kid.” He said, watching her down the next shot, arching a blonde eyebrow.  “Drownin' in yer sorrows?  Don't tell me that pansy ya hooked yerself up with kicked ya to the curb?”

“It's none of your fuckin' business, Williams.” She growled in reply before pouring another shot, raking a hand through her jet black hair.  Her eyes were decked out in thick black eyeliner, bringing out the midnight blue in her eyes, and her lips were painted black as well.  She was wearing a black corset top that laced up the front and was strapless along with a leather mini skirt and her two inch black steel toed thigh high boots.  “I don't want company now get lost.” She downed another shot, the feeling of the liquid burning down her esophagus causing a tingling sensation to flow throughout her veins.

“I know it ain't any of my business, don't mean I ain't interested.” Steve smirked, running a finger along her bare shoulder blade.  “I'm always interested when it comes to my favorite slut.” He caught her hand when she went to slap him.  “Now ,now Jalise, that just ain't nice.  Why don't ya face reality darlin'?  Ya lost yer kid ‘cause you were too much of a dumbass to tell Vince to stick it up his ass.  Yer drownin' in yer sorrows when ya should be out there fixin' things.” He smirked again.  “Not that this is somethin' you can fix.”

“Fuck you.” She spat hatefully back at him, ripping her hand from his grasp.  “You're right, I am a slut, but at least I'm not YOUR slut anymore.” She smirked coldly back at him and poured herself another shot, leaning back against the booth, crossing one leg over the other.  “And you will never feel my pussy clutching you again.” She was speaking quietly now and downed the shot she poured, her heart cold.

Steve snorted, shaking his head.  “Darlin, I don't know who's been lyin' to ya, but yer pussy was never that good at clutchin' to begin with.” He chuckled, standing up.  “It was a bit like fuckin' the grand canyon...Chrissy boy must REALLY love you...” He patted her on the head and disappeared, a blonde bimbo materializing on his arm as he walked out the doors, his laughter trailing behind.

Jalise glared at his retreating form and slowly stood up from the booth, stumbling out of the restaurant, and headed to the elevator.  The hot flashes were starting as she pressed her forehead to the cool wall, waiting for the elevator doors to open.  It felt like her body was on fire and she knew why, it was from all that damn Tequila.  She sighed heavily and stumbled on it when the doors opened, thankful she hadn't tripped and broke something she'd need to use later on.

John caught the elevator before the doors closed, his duffel slung over his shoulder, a scowl on his face.  He'd done his match and left, unable to hang around at the arena anymore then he had too.  He blinked when he seen Jalise, smelling the alcohol on her and blinked again.  “J?” He caught her when she tried to turn around and stumbled, blinking yet again when he seen what she looked like.  “Maybe not...”

“Sorry John…” She mumbled, gripping his large arms to keep herself steady, and finally managed to lean against the wall as the doors closed.  She kept her eyes adverted to the floor, the sweat forming on her forehead from the hot flashes, and this enclosed space wasn't helping either.  “I'm sorry for hurting you...” She said out of nowhere, hiccupping a bit.  “I'm so...sorry John...” The tears began stinging her blue eyes as she raked a hand through her black hair.

John knew this was the tequila talking, tequila rose by the smell of it and sighed.  “Don't Jalise, if you had to do it all over again, you wouldn't change a thing.  It's not in your nature.” He held her against his side to keep her from stumbling.  “Let's get you to your room, you need to sleep this off.” He couldn't understand, well, he could, but this total change in her appearance, the drinking, was almost too much to witness.

“You're right, I wouldn't.  I wouldn't change a thing.” She laughed as he helped her to her and Chris's room, raking a hand through her hair, blue eyes glazed over.  “You deserved that shot after treating me as you did.  I don't regret doing it, but I do regret running away afterward instead of facing you.” She closed her eyes, trying to get her vision to focus again while he practically dragged her down the hallway.

John listened to her, knowing with drunk people to discard half of what they said but he stored every word away for a later date.  “Woulda been nice.” He said finally, agreeing.  “Can you even remember which room is yours?” He glanced down at her, watching her eyes slide in and out of focus.  “J, come on, sober up long enough to tell me which room is yours and I'll handle the rest.”

Jalise tried to focus, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't.  She slumped against him, the alcohol working it's wonders on her.  She'd consumed an ungodly two bottles of Tequila Rose.  “John…” She whispered out before the darkness swallowed her completely whole, collapsing in his arms.  She was passed out.

John stared down at the passed out woman in his arms.  “Fuck...” He groaned, knowing this was definitely not a good thing.  This wasn't exactly how he had planned things.  He had had every intention of depositing her drunk ass in her room and going and passing out himself.  Now he didn't know which room was hers, knew Chris wasn't her.  Or Ember.  Or Mark.  What was he supposed to do now?  Sighing, he tossed her over his shoulder and carried Jalise to his own room, not knowing what else to do with her.

Once inside, John gently laid her on the bed and got to work by first undoing her boots, sliding them off her feet and placing them near the door, but out of the way so nobody tripped on them, mainly him.  John would be lying if he said he wasn’t clumsy after all.  He sighed as he looked down at her, the long, ravenous black locks fanned out around her black painted up face.  She was beautiful to him no matter what, but with the black, she looked like a pale dark angel.  Shaking his head, John simply covered her up with the comforter and headed into the bathroom, needing a shower after the horrendous night he had.  For some reason though as he stood under the sprays, all John could think about was the woman sleeping in his hotel, in his bed.

Chapter 11

A groan escaped her lips the following morning as Jalise's eyes slowly fluttered open, immediately closing as the sunlight streamed through the curtains.  “Goddamn shut the light off!” She growled out, shielding the light with her hand, her head pounding in her ears.  She had one Hell of a hangover, this one had been the worst yet.

“I'm sorry but I like the light when I'm reading my sports section.” Came John's voice.  He was sitting at the table, wearing nothing but a pair of black jersey shorts, reading a paper and munching on a piece of bacon.  He glanced at her, pouring himself another mug of coffee.  “Hungry?  Or do you need to throw up first?”

Jalise nearly jumped out of the bed and fell on the floor, groaning because now her ass hurt.  “What the-” She blinked, ignoring the light as much as she could, and slowly stood up, raking a hand through her black hair.  “John?” What in the Hell happened last night?  Why was she in a hotel room with John instead of Chris?  More importantly, what had they DONE last night?  That throwing up tip was coming fast as Jalise pressed her hand against the wall and felt the nausea overtaking her.

John procured a bucket for her, placing it by her head and sat on the edge of the bed, deftly pulling her hair back with a rubber band.  “You got toasted last night.” He informed her, holding her ponytail back so she could puke in semi peace.  “You were too drunk to tell me which room was yours and then you had the decency to pass out on me, therefore, I brought you here.  It was the only thing I could think of besides letting you sleep on the damn hallway floor.  We didn't do anything either and I didn't take advantage of you, I slept on the couch.”

Jalise finished vomiting, hearing everything John had said, and slowly looked up after she was finished, feeling sick.  “You didn't have to help me, John.  Thank you though.” She softly said and placed her face in her hands, sighing heavily.  “I know we didn't do anything either.  You were never one to take advantage.” She felt the tears stinging her eyes, but blinked them back, refusing to cry in front of her ex-boyfriend.

“Don't lie, we both know I am that kind of person.” John corrected her.  “Or I am now, but...you're engaged and even I can see your hurting, I'm not that damn bad.” He admitted he was a bastard.  “You want to call Chris now or get washed up a bit?  I'd imagine he's going out of his mind with worry.  And we both know I'm the last person he'd think of calling.” He smiled awkwardly, getting off the bed to empty the bucket.

“You put yourself down too much.” She commented, slowly standing up from the bed, and raked a hand through her hair.  “I don't think Chris wants to see me right now.” She bit her bottom lip and walked over to the sink, getting a cup of water.  That's about all her stomach could handle at the moment.

“I'm brutally honest.” John replied, passing her a slice of toast.  “To settle your stomach and why wouldn't Chris want to see you?  The guy loves you J.” He failed to mention that Chris had suffered another head injury at work, not wanting to worry her.  Chris was probably seeing stars at the moment and if Em was nearby, more concerned with the pins under his fingernails then anything else.

“You're not that bad of a guy.” She declined the toast, knowing nothing could be on her stomach but water at the moment.  “Chris and I have barely spoken in the past few months ever since I lost...the baby...” She slowly said those last two words and looked down at the floor, feeling the tears burning her eyes again.  “I don't know what's going to happen to be honest...I don't know what tomorrow brings and I really don't care.”

“Then you need to find something that makes you care, J.  It was an accident.  Accidents happen all the time, women lose their babies all the time.  It's a cold fact of life and it might sound terrible to say but it's the truth.  They pick themselves up all the time and you're going to have to find a way too.” John said finally, after listening to her, not commenting on the Chris bit.

“I know I have to pick myself up, but it doesn't seem to be working out with me.  I'm Jalise, I'm the fucking ice queen and yet I lose a baby and now I'm a shell of the person I SHOULD be.” She snorted, raking a hand through her hair as she coughed a bit, taking a swallow of water.  “It wasn't an accident either.  It was my fault for not fighting McMahon harder to not go out there and put my life and my baby's in danger.  I did it.  I fucking did it and I have no one to blame for it, but myself!” She stood up and walked over to look out the window, the sun causing her head to pound, but she didn't care.  “On top of it, Chris hasn't even ATTEMPTED to work on this...he's simply closed himself off from me and I've done the same thing.”

“Maybe he should spend less time with Ember and more time with you fixing whatever's wrong.” John suggested, setting back down at the table after tossing a tee shirt at her to change into.  “Just like you should pull yourself out of the bottle.” He still couldn't get over the image of a drunken Jalise.  He knew she'd been drinking for awhile now but actually seeing it...now that had been a trip and a half.

“He can spend time with whoever he wants since he obviously doesn't want me.” She actually laughed, but it was bitter sounding.  “Maybe Steve's right.  Maybe I am a slut.” She finally turned around to face John and rubbed her temples.  “I'm gonna head out of here.  Thank you for what you did, John.  I'm sorry for burdening you.” She then picked her boots up and walked out the door, finally letting her tears flow.

“You're not a slut...” John whispered, wondering since when did Jalise listen to what Williams had to say.

“There you are...” Ember stepped out of J and Chris' room, closing the door behind her.  “Honey, where have you been all night?  We were so worried.” She stopped and took in Jalise's appearance.  “Is everything alright J?  What's going on?”

“Nothing.” Jalise stated icily before walking past Ember and into her and Chris's room.  She couldn't believe what she'd seen.  Ember was married to Mark!  Not saying a single word, Jalise just went into the shower, closing the bathroom door quietly behind her, and turned the water on.  If Chris wanted to keep his little secrets, then she would keep hers, such as sleeping in John's room last night.  She stripped her clothes off and stepped under the hot sprays, sighing in contentment as the throbbing in her head slowly subsided.

Chris opened his eyes when he heard the shower going, knowing Jalise was back.  He groaned, slowly sitting up, his head bandaged.  Mark and Ember had taken turns watching over him to make sure he didn't fall asleep from yet another concussion, thank god Ember didn't use her pins.  He stumbled out of bed and to the door, knocking lightly.  “Jalise?” He called softly.

She could hear him, but decided to play dumb as she put her head under the sprays, allowing the water to wash away the previous night.  The words from Steve echoed in her mind, causing her anger to course through her veins, radiating off her pores.  So what if she was a slut?  She fucked two men and betrayed both of them.  Why?  Because they both deserved what they got in the end.  That was the bottom-line.  Now Chris was screwing around on her with her so-called married best friend.  She snorted, shaking her head, and put some shampoo in her hands before running it through her black locks.

“Jalise?” Chris knocked a little louder, sighing when he still didn't receive an answer.  He retreated back to the bed, groaning when the phone rang.  “Hello?”

“She say where she was darlin'?” Ember asked, making cooing sounds to Gavin.

“Not a word, she's in the shower.” Chris frowned.  “Em, you don't think she...”

“Hell no.” Ember said immediately.  “You need to talk to her Chris.”

“I know, I know.” He sighed again.  “I need to tell her.”

“Yeah, I will, I'll tell her as soon as she comes out of the shower.”

“Tell me what exactly?” Jalise asked from behind, having stepped out of the bathroom with a single black towel wrapped around her body, her arms crossed in front of her chest.  She didn't wait for him to respond and walked over to the dresser, beginning to do her make-up, starting with the black eyeliner.

Chris instantly took in her clothes, the way she was dressing herself and applying her make-up.  “Nothing, Jalise.  It was Em on the phone, she wanted to know if you were feeling up to having breakfast with her and Gavin today?” He stared at the woman he loved, searching for the woman he loved under all the make-up she was using to hide herself in.

Jalise rolled her eyes as she finished off her look by painting her lips black and pulled out a pair of black jeans with a black tank top, black bra and panty set.  “I think I'll pass.” She simply replied, her voice monotone with no emotion in it, and slipped the panties on beneath the towel, raking a hand through her wet black locks.  “I'm sure she'll find someone else to join her.”

Chris didn't even know where to begin or what to say.  Finally he just shook his head disgustedly and stormed out of the room, not caring that his head was throbbing.

Mark was sitting in the restaurant, waiting on his wife and son to join him.  He knew something was going on with Jalise, something had to be, where'd she'd been all night?  He sighed, nestling his head in his hands.  Ember had pleaded with him to talk to Jalise, but he wondered if it would do any good at this point.

Jalise glared back at the door and finished dressing before slipping her boots on, lacing them up.  Her suspicions had been confirmed, Chris didn't want her around.  “Whatever.” She snorted, the men came and went in her life as she walked over to stare out the balcony window, her fingernails painted black.  The more she thought about it, the more Jalise realized that if Chris hadn't pushed John off the apron, she wouldn't have lost their baby and they'd still be happy.  “Maybe a smidge of it is his fault.”

Chris blamed it on himself entirely. He knew if he hadn't pushed John, Jalise would have never lost their child.  That their love wouldn't be disintegrating like it was.  He knew and he suffered the burden daily.  He leaned against the wall, bringing his hands up to his face, trying to keep from crying.  He cried all the time, he wasn't ashamed of his tears, but that didn't mean he liked doing it.  He could feel the distance between them growing more and more each day and didn't know what to do anymore to repair it.

Jalise closed the shades of the hotel room and walked over to the bed, laying down, and stared up at the ceiling.  She rubbed her flat stomach and sighed, actually missing having that small bump.  Her thoughts surprisingly went to John and wondered why he'd helped her last night.  She'd hurt him in so many ways and deserved his wrath.  Instead, John was actually being...friendly towards her and she didn't understand.  It confused her.

~*~*~*~

John arched an eyebrow when he seen Chris at work.  The man was leaning heavily on Ember.  He had to admit, he was curious if there was something between them, not that he cared.  But was curious and all.

“John, help me get him to the trainer's room.” Ember pleaded.  “He's busted his damn head open again...”

“Just get me home to Jalise...” Chris murmured dazedly.

Jalise's eyes opened when her hotel room door swung open and there was Ember carrying her fiancé in.  She stood up, not even going to help them, and went straight for the liquor.  When seven o'clock rolled around that's when the booze came out as she poured herself a glass.  “What happened?” She asked nonchalantly, sounding like she didn't care in the slightest.  After all, Chris had Ember now so he didn't need her anymore.

“You didn't tell her?” Ember demanded angrily, pushing Chris down onto the bed, sighing and dropping down beside him.  “He keeps getting attacked at work, I'm not entirely sure how much longer he can deal with this without taking a vacation.  Could you get a towel Jalise?  He's bleeding again...”

John walked in, having been the one to carry Chris' ass most of the way.  “He bled on me.” He said disdainfully.

“Again?” She questioned, raking a hand through her hair, and threw Ember a towel as she sighed heavily.  “Thanks for telling me, Irvine.” She snorted downing another shot and sighed when she seen the blood on John's shirt.  “Sorry about that John.” She apologized as she sat down at the table and gestured to the bottle of Rum.  “Help yourself.”

John declined, watching on interestedly.  He hadn't been aware things were THIS bad in Shangri la.  He almost snorted, but managed to refrain.

Ember was staring at her best friend with anger in her usually warm eyes.  She bit her tongue however and glanced down at Chris.  “You have to go to the hospital, this needs stitches.  Jalise, talk him into seeing a damn doctor, please.”

“He won't listen to me.  Why don't you try convincing him, Emmy dear since you just LOVE taking care of him?” She suggested coldly before walking out of the hotel room, not able to see this any longer.  It made her sick to her stomach.  “Fuck them.  Fuck everyone.” She muttered under her breath, deciding to head down to the hotel bar, wanting to get as plastered as possible.

John glanced once at the shocked pair and followed Jalise.  “Hey.” He ran to catch up with her, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jean shorts.  “You think there's something going on with them, don't you?” He asked conversationally, already having a pretty good idea of what she was planning on doing and wondering if he'd be needed to cart her back upstairs.  At least this time he knew which room was hers and could deposit her there later on after she was drunk.

Chapter 12

“I don't think John, I know.  It just really bothers me that she's doing this to a sweet guy like Mark.  She's ruining a great thing and lives.” She snorted, leaning against the wall waiting for the elevator.  “It just proves even further Chris doesn't want me anymore because he didn't even have the DECENCY to come to me about these attacks.  What an asshole!”

John had a sneaking suspicion Chris hadn't said a word about anything to Jalise because he probably felt she was dealing with enough without adding his penchant of getting beat up too it.  He didn't mention that though.  “If you think he's cheating, why don't you just confront him?” He suggested, opening the door to the bar for her, deciding if she was going to drink herself into oblivion, he'd keep her company and talk to her, maybe keep her semi sober.

“Why when all he'll do is lie to my face?” She retorted, walking inside, and went to a dark booth, just wanting to drown herself in liquor and forget about Chris.  “I hope the fucker bleeds to death.” She muttered, ordering her usual along with a glass, screwing the shot glass ritual.  “You don't have to keep me company, John.” She stated when he sat down across from her.  “I'll be fine.”

“I'm bored.” He shrugged, ordering a rum and coke for himself, light on the rum.  He watched as she took what appeared to be an expert swig from the bottle, wondering how in the name of god she could drink that shit.  It always reminded him of strawberry milk.  “What's gotten into you Jalise?  Is this over losing the baby?” He asked bluntly.

“Losing my baby, who I thought was the love of my life, my best friend, my miserable existence.  Cheers.” She stated without hesitation, downing another entire glass.  “My life is one big pile of dog shit right now, John.  This is the only thing that helps because it numbs the pain.” She sighed heavily and dropped her head forward, laughing bitterly.  “I'm a slut and sluts can't change.  I can't change who I am, I tried and as soon as I came back here, I became the same vindictive, cold hearted ice bitch I was before.”

John was silent, contemplating that.  “How are you a slut?” He asked finally, knowing that had to have come from Steve's mouth, not hers.  “Jalise, you just lost your baby and you're not losing Chris.” He assured her.  “Well...you are, but not to another woman.  I don't think Em's the cheating kind, you gotta remember who her husband is.” He cocked his head to the side, taking a swallow of his drink.

“Then why are they spending all this time together?  I heard the other night at RAW that he was in her office until his match and then he was in there AFTER it.  She spends more time with who was my fiancé then her own hubby and kid.” She snorted before taking a long swig of her drink, raking her hands through her hair and gripping it tightly in her fingers.  “And now he doesn't trust me enough to tell me what the fuck is going on, such as with these attacks.  I know for a fact Steve is behind it too.  I know it's him because this wreaks of him.”

“It does.” He agreed, signaling for another.  He contemplated the Chris and Ember thing a moment longer before shrugging, whatever.  None of his business.  “Besides drinking yourself silly each night, what else do you do?  This can't be it, J.  Not just sleeping and drinking.  What about your writing?” He asked.  He'd seen her in the papers, a highly recognized authoress who was probably killing her career as they spoke.

She shrugged, running her finger along the rim of her glass, and felt the tears burn her eyes before looking into his blue orbs squarely.  “What's the point, John?” She finally asked, clearing her throat to keep her sobs concealed.  “My passion is gone for writing.  I'm dead inside, my heart is black and cold...I just...I don't care about anything anymore ever since I lost my baby.” That was the truth too and she wouldn't deny it.

John wanted to reach out and hug her but so many things were in-between them. Least of all the baby and Chris.  So instead he focused on his drink.

“Well ain't this cute...Cena, I always knew you had shit fer brains, this just cements it.”

“Steve, go take a hike man.  I'm not in the mood.”

“I am.”

“Hello Steve.” She greeted softly, not in the mood to fight, not even having the strength too.  “What did you need?” She asked, not looking up at him, waiting for the normal.  She was a slut, she was no good, she was a bad person and she was lucky Chris loved her.  She'd heard it all before and was finished with fighting a battle she'd never win because Steve had no heart and no soul.

“Not a damn thing honey.” Steve dropped down uninvited, taking a swig of his beer and let out a contented sigh.  “So what are we doin'?  Havin' some drinks and talkin' bout the good old days?”

“Steve, you're an asshole.” John muttered with disdain.

“I can be.”

“Just say what you came to say and leave Steve, please.” She said softly, raking a hand through her black hair, and sipped her drink.  She didn't want to get plastered with this man in her presence as she sighed deeply.  Here it comes.  The whole schpeal about what mistakes she made and how she'd always be a slut.  It didn't even hurt her anymore to hear those things because ever since she'd come back, Steve had done nothing but insult her.  She was used to it as sickening as it sounded.

“Maybe I just wanted to sit here with ya.” Steve said evenly, not slinging them insults her way. He already knew she was expecting it.  Actually, he was a bit surprised she hadn't started accusing him of beating down her boyfriend.  He'd seen what'd been happening to Chris, this was amusing.

“What's your game?” John demanded, blue eyes narrowed.

“What's yours?  You got just as much reason to hate her as I do.” Steve shot back, raising an eyebrow.

“He's my...friend, Steve.  He's let go of the past and moved on with his life.  He knows what I did was wrong, but he's not going to crucify me for it for the rest of my life.  He's not going to attack the people I love just to get one up on me.” Her voice remained soft and calm as she said these words, but didn't look up from her drink.  Instead, she looked out the window.  “More importantly though, he's not going to call me a slut or talk about the loss of my child in a sickening way to try and hurt me more.” She downed the rest of her drink before pouring another one, like a robot.

Steve looked wounded.  “Have I done any of those things tonight?  Or recently as a matter of fact?  No, I've been letting ya alone Jalise.” He signaled for another round of drinks, for all of them.  “Christ woman you're paranoid.  You need to quit drinkin'.”

John shared a look with Jalise.  This could turn out to be a very, very long night.

“Well hello, Emmy.”

Jalise sighed heavily when she heard that, this was the LAST thing she needed right now.  “Mrs. Callaway, if you don't mind, I'm sitting here drinking myself into oblivion with two men and I really don't want to be bothered right now.” Her voice was ice cold as she downed the shot of Jack Daniels Steve ordered them.  “Shouldn't you be tending to Christopher right about now?” She actually snorted before pouring another glass of Tequila Rose for herself.

“Actually no.  I came down to get a bottle of wine for myself and my husband since Gavin is with my folks.” Ember replied, using a cold tone as well.  She didn't know what the hell she'd done to Jalise but she was sick with the attitude.  “Maybe if you could pull yourself out of a bottle every now and then, I wouldn't have to tend him, the woman he loves could.  But I forgot, it's just you who's hurting, isn't it?  Gentleman.” She nodded at the two men and headed to the bar.

“An' people always say she's such a sweetheart.”

Jalise just blew it off, not really caring if Ember was pissed at her or not.  “I'm surprised she's finally spending time with her hubby.” She replied icily before downing another shot, leaning back against the booth.  “Not to mention her own kid.  All she's been concerned about lately is Chris, nothing else.  Makes me wonder how Mark puts up with her.”

Steve and John both exchanged looks at that one, Steve arching an eyebrow curiously and John just shrugging.  “Heh. Who knows...” Steve grunted, draining half his beer in one swallow.  “The only thing I have to do with her is when I need a rub down.” He smirked delectably.  “Must be them magic hands, eh?”

“I don't think that helps.” John muttered, taking a long swallow of his own beer.

“Well?”

“I’m sure she does more with those hands than what meets the eye.  Looks like I'm not the only slut around the WWE.” She scoffed with a roll of her eyes, which were outlined in pure black, and downed another glass.  “Makes you wonder why she always closes the door with the blinds down, ya know.” She couldn't believe she was actually holding a normal conversation with the man who raped her and single handedly made her life a living Hell since she returned.

“Dunno, according to Batista she's got a magic mouth too.”

“Okay, that's enough.  We all know that's not true.” John finally interrupted.  “J, you remember that shit with David?” He remembered simply because he'd gotten his ass whooped on Ember's behalf for calling the big man out.

“Jeez Cena, whose side you on?”

“David is a bastard, John is right about that Steve.” Jalise intervened, nodding at John with a sigh.  “I don't know what's going on right now and I really don't care.  If Chris is screwing Ember then the only people she will hurt is the woman she considers her sister and Mark.” She downed another shot and rubbed her temple as her eyes closed.  Why is it she couldn't have ONE night of peace and quiet?

“Um...” John looked over Jalise's shoulder.

“Chris is screwing Ember?” Ember's voice shook, high pitched.  “Oh yes, Jalise!  You discovered our secret!  We're sneaking around on you and Mark just to fuck each other's brains out!” She was physically shaking as she stormed off.

“That didn't go too well.”

Jalise just shrugged again, it didn't bother her, and she didn't care.  What she cared about was lost and burnt to ashes and beyond.  If was awfully suspicious how much time Ember was spending with Chris and not her own husband, that's all she was saying.  Damn, people got so bent out of shape over the TINIEST things!  “Whatever.” She leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest.  “This is just great, grand fucking wonderful.”

Night wasn't over yet.  Chris appeared in the bar, dressed in blue jeans and a white tee shirt, his hair just combed.  He narrowed his blue eyes when he seen who she was sitting with and walked over.  “Jalise, can we talk?” He asked softly, presenting his back to the two men.  He couldn't understand how she could be sitting here with these two...these TWO of ALL people.

Her night had gone from bad to worse in two seconds as she sighed, slowly opening her eyes to look back at him.  “Whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of my two...friends.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest, leaning back against the booth.  “Go on, there's room by John.  Sit.  Make it quick, I have another bottle to consume.”

Chris sat down beside John, drawing himself closer to Jalise, reaching out to take her unresponsive hands in his.  “Baby, I want you to come upstairs with me and talk.” He said quietly, his eyes pleading with her to not throw them away.  “I love you Jalise and I won't give you up.  There's so many things we both have left unsaid, we haven't talked since the baby was lost.  I don't want to lose you as well.”

“Fine.  Excuse me, Steve.” She softly said, surprised when he moved out of the booth, giving John a look that said she'd be alright.  She followed Chris silently through the bar and back upstairs to their room, the elevator ride silent. 

Once inside the room, Jalise was at the window, standing with her arms crossed, her back to him.  “What did you want to talk about, Chris?” She asked in a monotone voice, the pain evident in her tone.

Chris stared at her helplessly before squaring his shoulders.  He loved her and he wasn't giving up without a fight.  “Jalise, I love you. I'm sorry for not telling you about the attacks, but you already bear so much...” He said softly.  “You'll never know how sorry I am for making you lose the baby, but I don't want to lose you either.  I want you back, you, Jalise.  Not this woman who drinks away her pain.  I want you to love me again.”

That was about all Jalise could take as she stared at him, her midnight blue eyes becoming iced over even more than normal.  If looks could kill, Chris would be dead on the floor.

“I never stopped loving you!!  You stopped loving me and went to Ember when you couldn't handle my depression!!” She snapped, finally, after months of bottling it up inside.  It was going to come out and she didn't care what the consequences were.  “You pushed me away and started going to her for advice instead of your own goddamn fiancée, the so-called "love of your life"!  Do you know how BAD that hurt me, Chris?  It was bad enough losing my unborn child, but to lose you too…” She started crying, the black make-up running down her cheeks along with the tears.  “You're the one who gave up on us, not me!!  Yes, I bear a lot, but I'm not a goddamn porcelain doll!!  This is life, Chris!  You win some, you lose some, but you're supposed to live no matter what happens!!  You made me not love you anymore by shoving me away and going to my best friend who is already married!!  You forced me to go to John when I needed someone to talk too!!  YOU FORCED ME TO LOSE MY BABY, YOU BASTARD!!”

Chapter 13

Chris stared at her, the guilt in his eyes glowing like fire.  Everything she had just said was what he'd already been bearing day to day as he stood by and watched her become the person she was changing into.  He knew no words would repair the damage he'd caused, all he could do as what he did.  He crossed the room and pulled her into his arms, letting her curse and hit at him.  “You're right.” He whispered, his voice cracking, “You're right.”

Jalise crumbled in his arms as she sobbed against him, her entire body shaking from head to toe.  She didn't mean to say that about the baby, but her anger and emotions she'd kept bottled up inside had finally come out.  “I'm sorry…” She whispered, gripping his arms as she slowly looked up into his blue eyes, feeling him wipe her black mask away, including her painted lips.  “I still love you...I thought you didn't love me anymore.  I thought you didn't want me anymore, Chris.” She sniffled in his neck, breathing heavily from the sobs that'd tore throughout her entire body.  “I thought you hated me for losing our baby…” She whispered with pain and anguish.

“I never hated you, Jalise.  I never could. I hated-hate-myself for not being able to say all the things I needed too, I should have said.  I was weak and I'll never forgive myself for it.  I want you to love me, I want for us to be us.  I know it's hard, we lost our baby and that tears at me every day.” Chris brushed away her tears, kissing the ones that formed on her lashes, his own eyes shining with unshed tears.  “I love you, Jalise.”

She looked back into his blue eyes and sniffled, slowly pulling out of his arms as she wiped her tears away.  “It's going to take time to heal, Chris.  I can't say it back right now, not with everything that's happened.  I care for you, but we'll have to work extra hard on this to make it "us" again.” She knew this was killing him and she was dying inside, but knew they couldn't just go back to the way things were.  They both had to heal, they both needed time.  “I'm going to get my own hotel room.  We're still together, but we have to start from scratch to make this work to its full potential.” She slowly reached out and went to caress his face, but thought better of it and raked a hand through her hair.

Chris nodded understandingly.  It'd been like they'd been separated for years, this wouldn't change much, except give them another shot.  “Jalise, and about Ember...she told me what she heard.  I never touched her.  She and Mark have been swapping out time with me due to the concussions.  We both love you too much to hurt you like that.  That and she loves Mark too much to ruin her marriage.” He told her softly, wanting her to understand that

Jalise just nodded back at him, believing that, and knew it'd take time to win Ember's friendship back.  “I believe you.” She softly said, grabbing her already packed bag, and kissed her finger before pressing it to his lips.  “I'll call you in a few days.” She murmured before walking out of the room, the door closing quietly behind her.  Everything would take time to heal, that's all they needed was time.

John was singing as he stumbled down the hallway.  He halted when he seen Jalise lugging her bags, a bottle of rum in his hand.  Steve had gone and gotten him drunk.  “You leavin' him?” He drawled, time with the Rattlesnake having worn off on him a little bit.  “Jalise, everything alright and why the hell is the damn hallway spinning?” John was normally not a very big drinker

“Christ, he got you drunk.” She grunted and caught him surprisingly when he stumbled into her.  “Come on, let's get to your room and I'll tell you what happened.” With all the strength she could muster up, Jalise lugged John and her luggage to his room, barely getting him in the door and on the bed before dropping her things on the floor, sighing heavily.  “I told him we needed to start over from scratch and it would take a long time to gain love for him again.  He hurt me badly, but I'm willing to wait it out and see how it goes with him.”

John grunted, peeling off his shirt and tossing it aside, one hand reaching down to scratch just below his naval.  “Obviously.” He said, dropping down onto the bed in an ungainly manner, now pulling off his tennis shoes, tossing them over his shoulder.  They hit the wall with a loud thump.  “So you two are t'gether but not?” He wrinkled his nose, focusing his blurry eyes on her.  “Damn Jalise...you'll never change will ya?  Still gonna be beaut'ful no matter what.”

She knew it was the alcohol talking as she just gave him a smile and helped him in the bed.  “You're only saying that because you're drunk off your ass, John.  Tomorrow, you won't remember any of this.” She had to admit, it felt good to be told she was beautiful and not a slut or a disappointment.  “You're gonna have a massive hangover in the morning.” She stood up and kicked her boots off, raking a hand through her hair.

“Fuck it.” He grunted, reaching out to grab her hand, pulling her down with him.  “I always member yer beaut'ful.” He whispered loudly.  “Chris is a lukcy sumbitch.” He yawned, wrapping an arm around her, holding her against him.  “Mmmm...ya smell good too damn it.  Why you gotta smell so good?” John buried his nose in her hair.  “I'mma gonna sleep now...” He was out before finishing the sentence.

Jalise knew she wasn't going anywhere and just settled in, her head resting on his chest.  This was more than awkward, especially since this was her ex-boyfriend and the man she'd betrayed.  “What am I doing?” She whispered and sighed, snuggling in his strong chest.  She would be lying if she said this didn't feel good because it did.  It'd be too long since she'd been held by Chris.  Within moments, Jalise was asleep in the arms of her ex-lover.

~*~*~*~

John woke up with a groan, not opening his eyes.  “Fuckin’ eh Williams.” He grunted, rolling over, his hold on the warm body next to him tightening.  He didn't need to open his eyes to know it was Jalise, he had the feel of her mesmerized.  He buried his face in her hair, inhaling before lightening up on the hold, not wanting to crush her.  He risked opening his eyes, taking in her peaceful expression.  Without the make-up, he could see the Jalise he used too know.

A soft grumble came from her lips as she looked up through blurred vision, but she knew who's arms she was in.  “Mornin'.” She murmured, feeling him hold her tighter against him, and sighed gently.  “John...you're hurting me...” She grunted, smiling when he loosened the grip and scooted up to lay on the pillow, facing him.  “How are you feeling?” She was saying it quietly because she knew how brutal a hangover was.

“I'm feeling like I drank a fifth of rum by myself.” John grumbled, arching an eyebrow when she giggled.  “I admit it, I can't hold my liquor.  I never was a big drinker.” He chuckled softly, yawning and stretching without letting her go.  “This is nice.” He whispered soothingly.  “It's been awhile since I woke up to a beautiful woman.” There was another thing he was admitting.

He wasn't drunk this time and he still called her beautiful.  This was treading on dangerous territory and Jalise knew that.  “How bout I order some breakfast?  Some toast and water for you?” She suggested, completely bypassing what he just said, ignoring it.  She couldn't tread that fine line and sighed when he wouldn't release her.  “John come on, please...” She looked into his eyes and bit her bottom lip.

“Toast, bacon and ginger ale.” He said finally, letting her go.  She was with Chris, he knew that.  He shook his head, sitting up, the sunlight streaming in on his bare chest.  “I suppose you got to be going?” He asked softly, also knowing that he was probably seriously pushing his luck and heading on a one way street to another devastating chair shot to his fragile skull.

“No, I don't have to be going anywhere.” She looked back at him with a soft smile and picked up the hotel phone, dialing down to room service.  She got blueberry pancakes for her with a side order of eggs sunny side up and sausage links with an orange juice and what John wanted.  “I was actually wondering if I could ride to the next arena with you.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.  “I know we have a history John, but I really want to be your friend...and I want you to trust me again.  I promise I won't hit you with another chair.”

John instinctively rubbed the back of his head, smiling crookedly.  “Okay.  Oh hell, I gotta go brush my teeth...” He stuck out his tongue, making a face.  “Cotton mouth...” He shook his head, not understanding how the hell she could do it every night.  “I'll be right back.” He disappeared long enough to brush his teeth and shower, then brush again, coming back out in just a towel. “What the hell did I do with my damn bag?”

“It's over there.” She pointed over at the wall, she'd gotten it along with her luggage when he'd collapsed.  “Breakfast is...” She trailed off, looking him up and down slowly in nothing but a towel as the water droplets slid down his chiseled chest, and immediately looked down at her plate.  “Here.”

“Oh great, I'm starving.” John threw himself into his chair, not minding being in a towel in the slightest.  “Thanks J.” He inhaled, hesitantly picking up the fork and glanced at her.  “I'm going to puke from eatin this, aren't I?” He actually looked apprehensive.

Jalise actually laughed genuinely for the first time in awhile and smiled.  “Only if you scarf it down.  Just eat slow and you'll be fine.” She assured him and took a bite of egg, smirking.  “Oh and don't gulp your water too fast.” She advised when he began doing that.  “Trust me.”

“I'm not drinking that damn water.” John replied.  “I always feel worse after drinking water when I'm hung over.” He sipped the ginger ale instead, taking a small bite of his toast.  “Is it just me or is this extremely awkward?” He stared at her over the table.

“It is.” She couldn't deny it as she took a sip of milk.  “We need to learn to trust each other, John.  That's what it boils down too.  We both need to just let the past go and start fresh.” She set her fork down and raked a hand through her hair, no make-up on her face.  “I'm done with the drinking.  Life is too short to be wasted all the time, not remembering who you are hardly.” She then took a bite of blueberry pancake.

John nodded, agreeing with her whole-heartedly.  “Sounds like you're starting over with everything in your life, J.” He commented, now sampling the bacon.  “Who are you?  Have you decided yet?  Are you the woman who told me to go fuck myself for the better part of a year?  The woman who wields chairs, or the one who gets lost in a bottle?” He stared at her out of intense blue eyes.

“I'm neither, John.  I'm Jalise, a woman who is starting over fresh and building new relationships.” She smiled back at him and finished off her food before placing the plate on the cart, stretching her arms over her head.  ‘I need a new wardrobe.’ She thought, sick of wearing all this black, and decided it was going to be a shopping day.  ‘I need to get my own room too, I can't keep bothering John.’

John studied her thoughtfully, taking in the expression on Jalise's face.  “What's on your mind kid?” He asked finally, pushing away the rest of his uneaten food, unable to take another bite.  He rested his chin in the palm of his hand, staring at her, wondering what was going through her mind.

“I need to go shopping and get my own room once we reach the hotel.  I've burdened you enough, boy.” She smirked when he just glared, laughing and shook her head.  “Finish up, we gotta head on the road soon.” She was riding with him since she told Chris she'd call him in a few days.  She could always get a rent-a-car, but had a feeling John wouldn't mind the company.

“So we're going shopping?” John stood up, the towel sliding dangerously low on his hips, revealing exactly how well he kept himself in shape.  “I'm seeing you in black, butt hugging leather.” He teased, tracing her curves in the air with his hands.  “Just kidding.  You know...I know some decent shops on the way...if your interested...leather completely optional.”

“It's up to you, John.  I don't mind if you tag along, but I need to get out of the black faze.  I think it's time for a change.” She smiled again and pulled out some blue jeans with a red tank top, one of the few colored clothes she had left.  She'd burned the rest of them.  “Go get dressed before I take that towel off and snap your ass with it, boy.”

John shrugged, smirking at her.  “Go for it, here I'll even help.” It was his old devil-may-care grin as he whipped off the towel and passed it to her, having never been one to mind his nudity.  “Go on, snap me.” He turned and waved his ass in her direction, a grin on his face.

Jalise shook her head, not expecting anything less from this man, and rolled the towel up before snapping his ass.  She smirked when he screeched out and threw the towel back at him.  “I told you I'd do it.  Now get dressed while I clean up.” She then began clearing the dishes from breakfast, placing them on the cart, not feeling this alive in so long. 

It was like a small flame had ignited in her soul into a furious roaring fire that would take a lot to put out.  She finished cleaning up the table before packing John’s things, knowing he wouldn’t have time.  The boy was never on time as she zipped his bag before her own, knowing they didn’t have time to waste.  As Jalise sat on the bed, she started thinking over the past few months and actually smiled genuinely.  Maybe her life could finally get back in order the way it originally was supposed to go.  Maybe everything would be alright.

Chapter 14

John studied the clothes Jalise held out, examining them thoughtfully.  “You know,” He began, completely off track but very much like the old John Cena minus being an asshole.  “Remember them outfits you used to wear...the skirts and blazers?” At her nod he grinned, looking like a naughty school boy.  “I loved those.  I used to spend hours wondering what you wore underneath...a pinstripe skirt with a cream colored blazer…what DID you wear under those?”

“That is NONE of your business.” She shook her head, he was such a damn flirt and too cute to be mad at.  “You liked those eh?” She looked around and smirked, finding the perfect outfit.  “I'll be right back.” She then jetted into the dressing room with the outfit and changed, knowing he'd probably go slack jawed when he seen her.  A few minutes later, she emerged wearing a black and blue pin striped skirt that went two inches above the knee with a blue silk shirt and black jacket, placing her hands on her hips.  “Is this what you meant?”

“Exactly what I meant.” It was all too easy to forget that Jalise was in a relationship, and forget he did.  He stood up, circling her, his breath hot on her neck as he stopped behind her.  “So J...what's underneath?” His hands rested on her curvy hips, hoping and praying to God above she didn't knee him in the nuts.

She giggled and shook her head, the feel of his hands on her hips almost enough to make her cream her panties.  “You'll just have to keep up the imagining.” His hot breath on her neck was almost her undoing as she closed her eyes, remembering the passion they once had, but then Chris flashed in her mind and she immediately turned around to face John once more.  “So, does this pass the Cena inspection?”

John groaned, knowing that his one warning to back off or the chair would be pulled out and used. Jalise had one Hell of a swing on her.  “It passes.” He said his voice gruff with desire and stepped away.  “Get your things, we got to be at the arena in a few hours, or at least I do.” He didn't mean to be harsh, but he had to get away, and quick, before he did something she made him regret.

Jalise blinked back at him in confusion and sighed, knowing the old feelings were slowly rekindling, but she couldn't allow that to happen.  She had to be strong for both her and Chris.  She turned around and picked out a few more outfits, deciding to keep the one she had on, and paid cash for everything.  When she was done, Jalise made her way outside where John was waiting and cleared her throat to get his attention.  “I'm ready.” Her voice was quiet and low.

John took inventory of her still in that outfit and wished fervently that he had kept his mouth shut, oh sweet Jesus why didn't he keep his mouth shut?  “Buy me anything?” He teased, taking the bags from her and carrying them to the car, trying to reestablish the old nothing more then friends’ connection between them.

Jalise smiled, feeling comfortable again as she followed him in her two inch heels.  “Such as?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow as he popped the trunk, depositing her things in it, and waited for him to unlike the vehicle.

“I don't know...a jersey...some duct tape...” He smirked, unlocking the car.  Once inside he chuckled.  “Almost reminds you of when you were my PA, minus me being a royal asshole, doesn't it?” He glanced at her, shifting the car into drive.  “I was such a cocksucker; you probably should have hit me with that chair a lot sooner.”

“I was a bitch too, we both had faults.  I had no right hitting you with that chair.” She stated, taking his hand and squeezing it gently before releasing it, staring out the window.  “And yes I did get you a jersey.” She smirked and winked at him, leaning her head against the window, her hands in her lap.  “We did have some good times besides you telling me that if you wanted lip, you'd rattle your zipper.” She snorted with a roll of her eyes.

John looked both amused and sheepish.  “C'mon J, you and I both know that was one helluva line.” He winced when she decked him.  “Unless you're prepared to die alongside of me, don't do that, I might lose concentration and kill us both.” He teased.  “Rattle my zipper...God; I should have had that one patented.” He chuckled again.

She hit him again, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle as she crossed her arms in front of her chest, her lips stuck out in a pout.  “That's it; I'm taking that jersey back.” She grunted, looking out the window, trying to hide the smile that was threatening to overtake her lips.  Even she had to admit that was a funny line and would never forget it as long as she lived.  “Just make sure that when you rattle that zipper that I have a machete on hand.” She smiled sweetly at him.

“Well Hell honey, if you're going to cut it off might as well bring a chainsaw and pack a lunch.  We both know my pecker ain't coming off that easily.  Doesn't come off or get off easy.” He winked at her, smirking when she blushed.  “I win.” He dodged the next smack.  “Jalise, don't make me pull this car over.  You won't like it.” He shot her a challenging look.

“Is THAT right?  Go ahead, I DARE you.” She smirked when he just kept on driving, loving to get under his skin.  “Though if you do pull this car over, I'll take the other present I got for you back.” She winked at him when he just raised an eyebrow and giggled.  “Your birthday IS tomorrow, right?” No matter what, Jalise couldn't forget his birthday and leaned back against the seat, she had a card and everything.

John was more then up for the challenge.  He pulled over, ignoring the horns blaring at him and smirked at the expression on her face.  “Keep the presents, I got what I want right here.” He teased.  “Now...oh yeah, you made me pull the car over.” He unbuckled and reached for her, unfastening her and dragging her into the back seat.  He had her pinned down in no time, beginning to tickle her mercilessly, his strong hands roaming everywhere, dragging laughter out of her frame, the heat from parts nearest her burning through her clothes, his scent filling her nostrils.

“John!!  Stop it!!  You nearly killed us!!” She screeched out in laughter, trying to get away from him, but there was no escape as she just wiggled against him, her skirt riding up her thighs more and more.  “I...can't...breathe!!  I give in!!  I surrender!!” She was breathing heavily now, her sides hurting, and really didn't want to piss herself on the seat of this rental car.  The scent of him was almost too much for her to take as she slowly looked back in his eyes and smiled, her laughter growing softer and softer along with her breathing.  “You nearly killed us.” She repeated her voice was low as she ran her hand up and down his arm.

“But I didn't kill us.” He pointed out, shifting over her so he was resting more comfortably, through his jeans unaware of the skirt riding up, though she could definitely feel the material of his shorts against her bare thighs and whatever else.  “You surrender?  So what's my prize?” The hair on his arms was standing up thanks to her steady touch.  He leaned down so their noses were touching, tracing her lips with his tongue.  “I think my prize should be a kiss...” He murmured in a husky voice.

Jalise's big midnight blue eyes widened slightly when he said that as she bite her bottom lip, knowing this was wrong, but god help her this man was still hot and sensual.  “John, please don't make me regret this.” She whispered pleadingly, not wanting this to come back and bite her in the ass later on.  She wasn't a slut, but right now she was acting like one.  Then again, she and Chris weren't exactly a couple at the moment, they were taking things slow.  What did that mean anyway?  Could they date other people?  She'd have to ask him that at the arena.

John hesitated at her words, his lips mere inches from hers, his blue eyes studying hers.  “I won't let you regret anything you do.” He promised, brushing his lips against hers. Instant electricity.  It hadn't diminished at all in the years they'd been apart, if anything only grown.  He deepened the tongue, caressing her tongue with his, tasting her mouth for what seemed like the first time in ages.

The softest of moans escaped her lips as Jalise completely melted against him, her arms snaking around his neck as she deepened the sweet, tender kiss even more.  It felt too good, too right to ignore.  Her heart was thundering against her chest, her pulse racing rapidly.  Even after over three years of being apart, Jalise still felt the same way as when she and John first kissed in his dressing room.  She would never forget it, who honestly could?  He'd been looking for his chain necklace he wore to the ring and was fishing through the couch she'd been sitting on when the sexual tension got the better of both of them.

John shifted over his, his body weight distributing comfortably over just the right spots, moving his lips to her throat.  He felt her hands on the back of his neck and groaned when she began playing with his hair.

“Hey, is everything okay in there?  You folks get a flat or something?”

John raised his head to find an older gentleman standing outside the car.  “No sir, it's pretty much blown up as much as it could be...” He called back with annoyance clearly in his tone for the interruption.

Jalise yelped as she shoved John off of her, her lips red and swollen from his kisses, and bit her bottom lip before diving in the passenger seat, breathing heavily.  What the Hell was she doing?  Okay, she hadn't cheated on Chris...almost, but she didn't.  She'd just kissed John, her friend...yeah a friend.  Right.  ‘I'm screwed.’ She thought and placed her head in her hands, not believing she'd lost control so easily.

John talked with the stranger for a few minutes, using the time to cool down.  He knew he had probably just destroyed any chance at anything with Jalise, damn testosterones!  He finally slipped back into the car, gripping the steering wheel with his hands.  “I'm sorry J.” He said quietly.  “It won't happen again.” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, seeing the look on her face and sighed.  He had fucked up.

“No, it's okay.  It's okay John, really.” She took one of his hands in her hand and patted it, smiling in reassurance.  “Maybe we just both needed that...for one last time, you know?” She was trying to convince herself as she was saying this and pressed her hand over her heart.  “You haven't ruined anything with me.  We're friends and friends kiss...not like that, but nobody has to know, right?” Her blue eyes looked at him pleadingly.

“Not unless you want them too.” John promised, meeting her eyes.  He was sorely tempted to lean over and kiss her, but managed to refrain from doing so, knowing now definitely wasn't the right time.  Well...maybe it was.  Her lips were still red and swollen, inviting him to taste their delectable sweetness again.  He groaned inwardly, gripping the steering wheel even harder.  Being friends was probably going to make his dick fall off.

Jalise wasn't doing any better; her pussy was tingling with the need to feel a cock inside of her.  “L-Let's just get to the arena and cool down.” She suggested softly, patting his hand again, and leaned against the seat as she looked out the window.  What in the Hell was she going to do now?  How was she going to handle this when she was trying to work things out with Chris?  ‘God help me.’ She thought, raking a hand through her hair.

John knew as soon as he had a minute alone, preferably in a shower, he was going to have to quite literally work out his frustrations.  He just nodded, flashing a reassuring smile before focusing on the road.  He cocked an eyebrow when a phone rang.  “It's not mine.” He said finally, arching an eyebrow at the ring tone.

Jalise sighed, knowing who it was, and dragged it out of her purse, flipping the lid open.  “J here.” She said by way of greeting, winking at John in reassurance, and patted his thigh before focusing her full attention on the phone call while staring out the window.

“Darlin', mind me askin' if yer alright?” Came Mark's voice.  “Damn it Chris, ya best put them fuckin' cards down boy or I'm goin' to whoop yer ass...Em, no laughin'.  Jalise, I need someone here to keep me sane.” He chuckled.  “Where ya at honey?”

Ember sneered at her husband, ignoring the look Chris shot her.  “Excuse me, I'm sorry...” She muttered sarcastically, still not thrilled over being accused of sleeping around.

“I'm actually on my way to the arena with John.” She replied with no hesitation in her voice, smirking when Chris began hooting and hollering that he'd beat Mark in cards.  She couldn't help but laugh something the three of them hadn't heard in a long time.  “I'm fine Mark, I promise.  If you want, I'll have John drop me off at the hotel and let him go to the arena so I can keep your ass sane.”

“Yer about to lose a boyfriend...he's beat me three times, I think the ass cheats.”

“I don't cheat!  Hey babe, miss you!” Chris shouted, groaning when mark decked him.

“Anyways, like I said, I think he's cheatin'.” Mark said calmly.  “No darlin', if you want to go...wait, yer goin' to the arena?  I thought ya quit?”

“I can go to the arena without working, Mark.” She replied with a roll of her eyes, knowing she probably should go there to give her and John some space.  “If you want me to come, just say the word and I'll be there.  I'm sure John is getting sick of my ass anyway.” She joked, winking at him as he drove.

John murmured something under his breath about 'could never be sick of THAT ass’ under his breath.

“Come rescue me darlin'.  Maybe we'll have time to play a quick hand of somethin' that I won't lose.” Mark chuckled.  He eyed the two in front of him, groaning when they each grinned.  He played the card hand when in truth; he wanted the two women to make amends.  That and find out where Chris and Jalise stood, that'd be nice.

“Very well, I'll come rescue you Deadman from Chris.” She shook her head and mouthed to John to take her to the hotel.  She smiled when he just nodded in compliance, knowing they'd meet up later.  “I'm on my way, see you in a few, we just got in town.” She informed him and crossed her legs, hoping Chris didn't notice anything different about her.  She said her goodbyes before fixing her hair, deciding to pull it up in a messy bun with two chopsticks she'd bought at the store.  “This will give us a chance to cool down, some space.” She explained softly.

“Not saying a word.” John replied, his affable good natured humor appearing to resurface.  “So...Chris driving the dead man insane huh?” He turned down a street, the hotel looming in front of them.  “You realize you're going to be facing Ember right?” He glanced at her, wondering exactly how she was planning on managing of that was coming her way.

“That's Mark's plan.  He wants us to reconcile and the card game is just a cover up.” She knew Mark well enough to know that he wasn't that big of a card game player.  “I'll be fine, I promise.” She smiled, stroking his cheek with the back of her hand, loving how concerned he was for her.  When they pulled up outside the hotel, she leaned over and kissed his cheek gently.  “I'll call you later.” She promised before stepping out of the vehicle, deciding to leave her clothes in the trunk for now and headed inside.

“You'd better.” John called teasingly after her.  “Or else I might wind up tickling you again.” He smirked when he seen her head turn, a blush grazing her cheeks, and pulled away to head to the arena for an early workout and a very cold shower afterward.

Chapter 15

Mark looked disgruntled when Jalise walked in.  “You'd best come rescue yer boyfriend a'fore I kick his ass.” He cautioned, apparently having just lost another hand.

Chris grinned, his eyes lighting up when he looked at her.  “Hey babe, how was the ride?” He said by way of greeting.

“It was fine.” She smiled, raking a hand through her hair.  “Stopped to do a little shopping on the way here.” She was still wearing that skirt and cardigan outfit, what she used to be wear back in the day.  “I know the real reason why you brought me up here, Mark.” She smirked when he just shrugged and sat down at one of the chairs.  “I'm quitting the drinking.  Not entirely, but I'm not getting plastered every night like before, just so you all are aware.” She reclined back in the chair.  “Any other questions?”

“Not my business.” Mark replied gruffly.  It wasn't his business, but he did care.  He had heard from Ember about the whole Chris thing, wondering how on earth anyone could think she was cheating.  He kept his wife too busy to consider cheating.  That and Chris was too damn upright and noble.

“That's great babe.” Chris smiled at her, his eyes takin in her new outfit.  He glanced over his shoulder when Ember appeared, cradling Gavin.

“Me and Chris have decided we need to take some time to get to know each other again with everything that's happened.  We're taking it slow, starting over.” She informed them, not caring if they wanted to know or not.  She knew Mark and especially Ember better than that.  She then turned around to face her friend and raked a hand through her hair.  “I really thought you were screwing Chris will all the time you spent with him.  I was fucked in the head and wasn't thinking clearly though because I know you'd never do that to me, neither of you would.  I'm sorry Ember for accusing you of such heinous acts and I hope you can forgive me someday.”

Ember sighed, shaking her head.  “I always do, don't I?” She smiled, settling down on the couch with her son then snorting.  “Fucking Chris?  As if.   No offense.”

“None taken.”

“She's not into pretty boys.” Mark said smugly with a smirk.

Chris groaned, looking up at the ceiling with a 'why me' expression on his face.

“I should've remembered that.” She giggled, shaking her head, and leaned against the wall with a sigh.  “It also...hurt to be around you...with Gavin and all.” She looked down, ashamed, but she couldn't hide her true feelings.  “I was...jealous that you had a baby...and I didn't.  I'm sorry Em.  I was fucked up and I figured by staying away I wouldn't cause any of you pain.  Though that didn't happen because obviously I did by accusing you of screwing Chris.”

“Well you hurt people.” Ember said in her blunt way.  “But we understand and love you so it's alright.  Just for future reference, remember I don't like blondes.” She had known seeing Gavin would hurt Jalise, obviously, but there was nothing she could do about that sort of hiding the boy in a gunny sack and stuffing him under the bed.

Chris stared at Jalise curiously, his eyes taking in her clothes.  He had heard everything she said and didn't know what to say to it, so just contented himself with staring at her.

She just nodded, knowing she did hurt people and was thankful that they were forgiving her.  “Well, I'm gonna head to get my own room and then probably relax, veg out.  Maybe we can do the card game some other time, Deadman.” She winked at him and smiled when he just grunted before hugging her.  “Thank you…again.” She murmured in his ear, referring to bringing her up here to reconcile with Ember and then looked at Chris.  “I'll call you.” She said, still needing space from him, and walked out the door without another word.

“Been a long time since I seen her in an outfit like that.” Ember commented.

“Years.” Mark grunted having a feeling John had something to do with it.

Chris just folded his arms over the table and sighed.  It wasn't easy going from a three year relationship to suddenly…this.

“You work quick.” John commented, carrying his luggage up to his room, seeing her on the floor.  “Everything settled then?”

She nodded with a smile, knowing she was hurting Chris, but they had to start fresh and go slow if things were going to work out.  “Yeah, I didn't feel comfortable with them for some reason.” She shrugged, getting her room key, and raked a hand through her hair.  “You work fast too.” She smirked.  “I thought you were going to the arena?”

“I decided to grab a nap, working out and chatting with the boys will wait.” He replied with a grin, having a few hours before he actually HAD to be there.  It was just his habit to go early.  “I figured after all the excitement today, forty winks was sounding pretty good.  Want to join me?” He teased, winking down at her.

Jalise just smirked back at him and shrugged.  “If you want me too, sure.” She giggled at the look on his face and walked to the elevators after John had handed her stuff over from the car.  She wasn't surprised when he joined her and looked at the number on her key card, nodding.  The third floor.  Well at least it wasn't on the second, where Mark and Ember were staying.

“Third floor too?  You know something, in hospitals, that's usually the floor for the lunatics.” John said conversationally.  “Must be we're crazy huh?” He glanced at the number on his key before chuckling, bending down and brushing his lips against hers.  “Just a 'friendly' peck.” He said, almost quoting her from earlier.  “See you later J.”

Jalise watched him walk away and touched her lips with her fingertips, the confusion registering on her face again.  She sighed and went to her own room, unlocking the door, and finally collapsed on the bed on her back, staring at the ceiling.  What was going on?  John couldn't be kissing her like that in public!!  Even though it was in an elevator secluded.  She groaned and decided a shower was in order, practically bolting inside, and peeled out of her clothes before starting the water.  Visions of that heated kiss her and John shared in the car flowed through her mind and Jalise suddenly realized she was in deep trouble if she couldn't get that man off her mind.

~*~*~*~

John whistled as he walked down the hallway for a bucket of ice.  He had his nap and felt better, now he wanted some ice for later when he got back from working, knowing he wouldn't be in the mood to actually walk later if he could help it.  His bare feet padding along on the floor, wearing a pair of baggy shorts that hung low on his hips, revealing bare abs and a muscular chest.  His eyes strayed from door to door, wondering just which room Jalise was in then mentally slapping himself.  ‘Taken, moron, taken.’ He kept reminding himself mentally.

~*~*~*~

A few weeks passed and Jalise was missing Chris more than she cared to admit, spending all of her time with John for the most part.  Other times she'd be with Ember and little Gavin, just shooting the breeze, trying to rekindle their friendship again.  In her heart and mind, Jalise knew who she belonged with, who she wanted to hold her at night and keep her safe.  She knew who it was.  Chris Irvine.  She smiled, remembering when they first met, and had made the decision she was going to surprise him after the show by going to his hotel room.  The outfit she bought was quite a show piece.  It was a two piece midnight blue set, the top being a corset that was strapless and sheer.  Because of her tanned skin, Chris would only get a glimpse of what was underneath.  It came with matching panties and a garter belt, Jalise couldn't stand wearing thongs and never would.  She giggled at the look on Chris's face when she walked in and opened her robe, revealing this to him, giving herself fully to him, what she should've done long ago.

John couldn't believe how these past few weeks had gone.  First off, spending time with Jalise and NOT seeing her as an object of sexual gratification was different.  That's how he'd basically viewed her when she had been his personal assistant.  Then there was the whole ex-boyfriend/girlfriend thing to get past.  Not to mention exactly HOW they're relationship had ended the last time, but when she'd announced her decision to finally really get back with Chris; he'd accepted it with good grace.  And why not?  They were friends, weren't they?

She stared at the door, the butterflies erupting in her stomach as she pressed a hand to it to make them stop.  This was it.  It was either Chris was going to accept her with open arms or he would kick her to the curb.  She hadn't spoken to him in nearly two weeks, promising to call him but always getting sidetracked at the last minute.  She sighed heavily, lowering her head, and took a deep breath before pulling out the key card from her robe pocket.  Oh the joys of seduction!!  She smirked wickedly before sliding it in the slot and watched the light turn green.  This was it.

It was indeed.

“Ohhh-OH Chris!!” A woman shrieked out as she felt his hands grip her hips, sliding up and down on his thick, engorged cock, whipping her platinum blonde hair back.

“Oh fuck yeah baby…oh fuck I needed, I needed this so bad, Jill…” Chris grunted out, running his hand up and down her stomach before cupping her silicone filled breasts in his hands, molding them while hissing out.  He was close, he was so damn close. 

“Oh Chrissy, oh fuck I’m almost there!!  I can feel it!!  Oh yes!  YES!!” Jillian cried out in pleasure, ready for him to explode that seed inside of her, when a voice cleared behind them.

It was Jalise, standing in the doorway.

“Oh shit!” Jillian Hall screeched, practically diving off of Chris just as he started to cum.

Chris looked up from his place underneath the want-to-be songbird, his blue eyes widening in shock.  “Jalise...?”

"Okay, oh boy, this is awkward...Look, I'm...I'm going...” Jillian scrambled off of Chris, grabbed her clothes and brushed past Jalise, disappearing down the hallway quickly.

Chris sat up, raking a hand through his short hair, obviously searching for words to say.  What could he say honestly?  She’d caught them red-handed; there was no excuse he could come up with good enough.  Jalise had refused point blank to give him what he needed, claiming she needed her space.  So when Jillian came up to him earlier that night in the hotel bar and started paying him some attention, Chris instantly took the opportunity and ate it up.  He knew she just wanted a good fuck and that’s all he wanted too from her.  From Jalise, he wanted something he knew he’d never have.

Jalise's eyes burned with tears, knowing she had nobody to blame but herself for this happening.  When he went to finally speak, she simply raised her hand to stop him.  “Don't.” Her voice was soft and eerily quiet.  “I deserve this.  I pushed you away and you reacted the only way you knew how.” She slowly slid the diamond ring off her left ring finger that she'd replaced that afternoon at the shop and set it on the bed, tears running down her face.  “Goodbye Chris.” She then turned and fled the room, her heart shattering over and over again.

Chris looked down at the bed and groaned inwardly.  Finally he just laid backwards, folding his hands under his head.  It was over.

~*~*~*~

“Jillian, get the hell out of here.” John ordered, blocking the entrance to his room, arms folded over his bare chest.

“Johnny, I don't have a room!” Jillian pleaded, holding her clothes over her almost naked body.  “Please, pretty please?”

“Take a hike before I decide you're not a woman therefore I'd be allowed to deck you.”

When Jillian turned around, she was decked courtesy of Jalise's fist plowing in her face, sending her sprawling to the floor below.  “You better run before I kill you.” She stated in a low, deadly tone of voice, midnight blue eyes glazed over in a trance that would've frightened the fragile-hearted.  She smirked coldly as Jillian hauled ass down the hallway and turned to John, cheeks tear stained as she raked a hand through her long, shiny black hair.  “Can I come in please?”

“My door is always open to you.” John stepped back, his blue eyes crinkling as he took in her tear stained face.  He closed the door behind them.  “What happened tonight?” He asked finally.  “I can tell it has something to do with Miss Hall…and…” He took another look at her face, the pieces falling together.  “Aww hell J, come here.” He pulled her into his arms.

A strangled cry erupted from her mouth as her legs buckled, crumbling in his arms as the heart wrenching sobs racked through her body.  She clutched his tank top for dear life, not believing what had happened.  Chris, the man she thought loved her unconditionally, the man she thought she'd marry and have a family and semi-normal life with cheated on her.  “I should've seen it coming...” She managed to gasp out through the sobs, shaking her head back and forth.  “Why didn't I see it coming?  I should've known better!”

It was more then obvious now what had happened.  John's first instinct was to go pound the daylights out of Chris and then maybe the nightlights too, but then rationalism took over.  He had Jalise in his arms crying her heart out, beating the shit outta her definitely now ex-boyfriend wasn't going to make her feel better.  Yet.  “Calm down J...” He soothed, dropping down onto the bed, pulling her on his lap, wrapping his arms around her.  “Calm down...”

“I p-pushed him away...I told him I needed time…” She shook her head, not believing she actually believed Chris was different from any other man she'd been with.  She slowly stood up from John's lap, raking a hand through her hair, and walked out to the window.  “He's no different than you or Steve...” Her voice was soft when she said that, but the truth was obviously in it.  “No matter what I do, every man I end up with ends up either getting hurt or hurts me.” She sniffled, knowing she had to get out of there.  “I'm going to see Ember.  She's the only one who can help me right now other than booze and I refuse to go back to that.” She didn't even say goodbye to John before walking out of there, the tears never stopping.

Chapter 16

“Do you have any damn idea what time-Jalise?” Ember stopped mid-rant when she seen who was standing at her door.  “Mark, go into the other room would ya, hun?”

“Ember!”

“Tuck it away buster, I got something else to do.” Ember waited until her disgruntled husband had vacated before pulling Jalise into the room.  “Okay honey, what happened?”

“I-I'm sorry...I'll go if you really want me too...” Jalise whispered, knowing she had interrupted a sexual bout between Mark and Ember.  She sighed with inner relief when Ember waved her off, knowing they were best friends for life truly.  Jalise didn't speak for what seemed like an eternity as Ember made them both some coffee, knowing it was going to be a long night, especially for poor Mark.  “Chris cheated on me…” She finally revealed after what seemed like forever, the tears falling as a few teardrops fell into her steaming coffee.

To her credit, Ember didn't look shocked, or anything.  Though her lips did purse into a thin, white grim line.  “Did he now?” She murmured, studying her friend.  She didn't ask anything else, Chris cheated was all she needed to know.  “So what are you going to do now, honey?” She asked, offering Jalise a tissue, her eyes sympathetic.

“I deserved it, go ahead and say it, Em.” Jalise stated, ignoring that question because honestly, she had no idea.  This wasn't in the cards for her, or so she thought.  “I pushed him away, I told him I needed time to heal.  I just wanted to make sure that we could make it after everything that's happened.  I never ONCE cheated on him with anyone, especially John.  I admit, I thought about it so many times because John has been a really great friend and I thought those feelings were erupting again, but I put them out when I finally decided it was Chris I wanted.  Now...I'm left with nothing.” She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling more alone than ever.

“You're left with the pieces, and you'll have to pick yourself up again, like you always do.” Ember said gently.  “Jalise, maybe Chris never was the one for you...maybe you haven't found him yet...or maybe you have...” She sighed, kneeling down in front of her friend.  “You still have me, I'm not about to sleep with you, but you still have me.” She smiled gently.  “And you have John again.”

“I'm not sure if I do or not.  I told him Chris was no different than him or Steve.  I think I just ruined our friendship.” Jalise sighed heavily as she sat in the nearby chair and raked a hand through her hair, knowing she just needed time to think, time to heal, and time period.  “I'm gonna go back to my room alone.  I'm sorry for interrupting you and Mark.” She then kissed Ember's forehead and walked out, glad the robe had stayed in tact all this time without giving much to the imagination of what was underneath.  Jalise was going to soak in a nice hot tub with a glass of wine and cry until she couldn't any longer.

“I'm not Steve.  I'm not Chris either.” John said when he seen Jalise approaching her room, moving out from behind the archway where he'd been standing.  “I was an asshole, I admit that, and I did a lot of wrong too you, but I'm not either of them.” He stared at her with piercing blue eyes.  “I'm just John, an asshole, but not a rapist or a cheater.”

“Fucking Christ you scared the shit out of me!” She shouted out of surprise, holding her chest with her hand as she stared back at him, seeing the pain in his eyes.  “I know I'm sorry for saying that...” She sighed heavily, feeling like her world was spiraling out of control as she leaned against the wall, looking up, wondering what to do now.

“Sorry, didn't mean too.  Look Jalise, let's get out of here.  Just go for a drive.  There's nothing here for you in this hotel besides a night of tossing and turning in bed, contemplating drinking and crying.” John stared at her intensely.  “Come on J...just a drive.  We can talk.  Or just ride in quiet, it's up to you, sweetie.”

Knowing her plans were just thrown out the window, she finally nodded.  “Give me five minutes to change out of this and into something warmer.” She quietly said before disappearing into her room, knowing John wouldn't leave her alone after what just happened.  She changed into a pair of blue jeans with a long sleeved blood red shirt that was V shaped, leaving her hair down, and applied her make-up naturally.  She finished up by pulling some black tennis shoes on and walked out of the door, a black leather jacket on as she tucked her key card in her pocket along with her wallet.  She hated purses.

John had changed long before coming to her room, jeans and a white beater along with a brown bomber jacket.  He smiled when she stepped back out into the hallway, falling into step beside her.  He guided Jalise out to the parking lot, ushering her to his car.  A second later they were on the road, windows down since the night wasn't too chilly, for the moment leaving their troubles behind them.

Jalise just closed her eyes, allowing the air to flow through her hair as she stared out the window, the stars sparkling down at them.  Maybe Ember was right.  Maybe Chris wasn't the right man for her.  Then who was?  Who was the right one for her to be with for the rest of her life?  Jalise couldn't answer that even if her life depended on it as she sighed heavily, blinking tears back.  She jumped a bit when John grabbed her hand and turned around to face him, giving him a smile, letting him know she'd get through this without having another complete meltdown like last time.

John returned the smile before turning his eyes back onto the road.  “Maybe now isn't the time you're supposed to be in a relationship.” He suggested as if reading her mind.  “You're not going to be alone for the rest of you life either...you just need to find a guy who truly deserves you...one who worships the ground you walk...” He trailed off, a musing smile on his lips.

“I doubt there are any men out there left like that.” Jalise replied solemnly before changing the subject abruptly.  “So, are you and Hall together?” She asked rather bluntly, wondering why that whore was at John's door when Jalise arrived.  There had to be a reason why Jillian had been there after literally fleeing from Chris's room, right?

John made a disgusted face, a full body shiver taking over.  “I guess she didn't have a room or something.  I don't know why she thought I'd let her stay with me…that's just wrong.” He glanced at Jalise.  “Sorry...but no, Hall and I are NOT together.  I'm single, woman, didn't you know?” He chuckled softly.

“I was just making sure that you had a least SOME taste in women.  I heard Maria is available and even that new chick, Beth Phoenix.” She giggled when John just groaned, thoughts of Chris flying out the window.  This is what John was good at, getting her in a good mood and making her forget about her shitty life.  He just had a spark about him and his smile was contagious, she couldn't help but return it.  “Then there's always Melina...”

“Maria is a ditz, on screen and off.  And BETH PHOENIX?  And woman with the moniker "The Glamazon" is NOT for me.  She has to have a set of balls...definitely.” He snorted.  “You're being mean Jalise...I'm not interested in women with a lack of brains or a bigger set then me.  As for Melina...no thank you. She's only been with two thirds of the roster....not so well used if you please.”

By now, Jalise was rolling in her seat laughing hard.  She couldn't believe John just insulted those three Divas like that and finally calmed down enough to breathe.  “What about Mickie James?  She kisses other women in the ring so that's gotta turn you on, right?” She bit her bottom lip, trying to refrain from laughing again as she stared at him, waiting for his reaction.  “Then there's also Candy...”

“Well Mickie is cute, in a very hyper sort of way.  I think she needs to cut back on the Stacker 3’s.” John joked, mocking looking thoughtful.  “Then Cherry...nah, she might bring them roller skates to bed and I like my nuts thank you.  Have you noticed she doesn't actually skate on them?  She does this walking glide thing...I wonder if she CAN skate...”

“I wondered that too, but that wasn't the Cherry I was referring too and I said Candy, not Cherry.” Jalise replied while giggling, shaking her head.  “I meant Candice Michelle.  She's attractive, you need to get back on the saddle, John and ride it.” She smirked at him, midnight blue eyes glittering in the moonlight that shone down on them.  “I mean, do you plan on being single forever?”

“Hmmm good question.” John mused, turning the steering wheel.  “Let me see, considering that since you, I've had maybe three girlfriends, all of them NOT making it past the three month mark, a forgettable number of dates.  I've come to the conclusion that most women are after my name and my money.  Oh and one paternity suit, which I won by the way.  So yes, I'm planning on being single forever.”

“Good, we can be single forever buddies.” Jalise giggled and entwined her fingers with his, staring out the window again.  In her heart, Jalise had a feeling she would be alone, that it was meant to be that way.  What man would she trust after what Chris did to her, even though she deserved it?  With a sigh, the laughter died from Jalise's lips as John turned the car around and headed back to the hotel.  They'd been out for nearly three hours and it was time to get some sleep.  Tomorrow was another day after all and Jalise wasn't going to let this get her down.

John studied her thoughtfully once they hit the parking lot, shifting in his seat to stare at her.  “Jalise, you're not going to be single forever.  One day you're going to find a guy you love and who honestly loves you back. Chris wasn't it, but you shouldn't give up.  Not all men are assholes, just you know, the ones you've dated so far and even then, some of us are worse then others.”

She simply nodded and leaned forward, caressing his face with the back of her hand.  “Not all women are after your money or as bad as you think either, John.” She softly said before gently brushing her lips against his and got out of the car, heading into the hotel.  She knew they were only friends, but had to thank him someway for the ride and for making her forget about what Chris did to her even for a few hours.  It meant more to her than he'd ever know.

John sat there in the car for a few minutes after she had gone in, his brow furrowed in thought.  He sighed, running a hand down his face and shook his head.  “Oh boy...” He muttered, wondering how on earth they had gotten here.  What twisted road had he and Jalise set themselves on years ago to wind up almost right back where they had started?  Minus the hatred.

~*~*~*~

It was Monday Night RAW live and in color a few nights later and Jalise was walking down the hallway, just thinking about everything that had happened.  She was so confused, yet she knew Chris would turn to another sooner or later.  It didn't help to see him talking to Jillian either when she passed by them.  When he went to grab her arm, Jalise nearly ripped it out, telling him silently to just stay the Hell away from her and never talk to her again.  She was done with him, he had to face facts and move on.

John cocked an eyebrow when he seen Jalise pull away from Chris, lingering in the doorway of his dressing room.  He watched the blonde man sigh and shake his head at Jillian, pushing her away before walking off.  A half grin on his face, John raked a hand through his hair and stepped back into his room.  “Oh what a night...” He murmured, glancing at the clock.

Jalise's night got worse when Steve walked up to her, she didn't feel like putting up with his shit tonight.  “Not now, Steve okay?  Please, just for ONE night, please have a little pity on me and just leave me the fuck alone.” She started walking away from him and gasped when he grabbed her by the arm, spinning her around to face him.  “Release me NOW.” She ordered gravely.

“I've been leaving ya alone Jalise.” Steve commented, looking down at her with amusement sparkling in his blue eyes.  “But if you really don't want to hear what I have to say, that's fine too honey, ain't no hair off my ass.  But I REALLY think you REALLY wanna know what I do.”

“Steve, let her go.” John said walking up to them, his eyes on the steel grip Steve had on Jalise's arm, knowing it was sure to bruise.  “You're going to hurt her.  Sorry.” Steve grunted, smirking down at Jalise before sauntering off.

Jalise looked after Steve and blinked, wondering what he had to tell her.  She let out a reluctant groan before chasing Steve down the hallway, stopping in front of him, barely avoiding colliding their bodies.  “What is it?” She demanded angrily, knowing that wasn't the way to approach this, and took a deep breath.  “I'm sorry...what I meant to say is...will you please tell me what you were going too before we were interrupted?”

Steve smirked, shaking his head.  “Nope, too late.  Can't remember now.  Have fun tonight, Jalise.” He winked, walking off, whistling to himself.  He started laughing as he rounded a corner.

“What a fucking loon...” John muttered.  “Catch you later J, I got to go get around for my match.  You need anything, just holler, okay?” He smiled warmly down at her before walking away as well.

“Damn it!” Jalise cursed under her breath and raked a hand through her black hair.  This wasn't good.  Something was going to happen, she could feel it, and it was going to be horrible.  ‘I need to find Ember.’ She thought and quickly ran down the hallway toward Mark's dressing room.  She knew his match was soon so she wouldn't be interrupting their hanky-panky moment like she did a few nights ago at the hotel.

“Emmy ain't here.” Mark said when he seen Jalise standing outside the door.  “She's workin' darlin'.  You'll find her wherever there's a line of bitchin' wrestlers complainin' bout their aches.  Lemme know if anyone's hittin' on her, will ya?” He joked, frowning when he seen the expression on her face.  “What’s wrong Jalise?  What happened?” He placed a heavy hand on her shoulder.  “Whose ass am I fixin' to kick?”

“Nothing, I just...it's a girl thing, Mark.” She smiled apologetically at him though her insides were twisting and turning violently as she raked a hand through her hair.  “I'll leave you be.  Thanks anyway.” She then walked down the hallway, trying to get her thoughts in order as the show started.

~*~*~*~

Chris’s match wouldn't be until the end of the night and his game plan was to basically hide out in a dressing room until then, hoping to avoid getting his head bashed in.  He was fairly certain a few more good knocks and his skull would split like an overripe melon.  He paced back and forth, chewing on his thumbnail, wondering how shit had gotten to where it was.

John was wondering the same exact thing as he taped up his wrists for his upcoming promo.

~*~*~*~

Toward the end of the night, Jalise walked into the cafeteria, seeing everyone watching the monitor that was in there.  Apparently they were fascinated by Chris's in ring ability, which caused her to bite back a snort.  She rolled her eyes and walked over, pouring a cup of coffee, and sat down as she scrubbed a hand down her face.  No matter how hard she tried, Jalise couldn't get what Steve said out of her mind.  He was good at playing mind games, one of the best actually, and she hated him for it.  She was on edge so badly that her arm hair was standing up and she couldn't get the nauseous feeling out of her system.  She just wished that whatever was going to happen happened so she could move on with her life and try to cope with it.

~*~*~*~

Chris hesitated when he heard a beat come over the speakers, tossing his opponent out of the ring and turning towards the ramp.  His eyes narrowed when John Cena came walking out, wondering what the moron was grinning about.

John smirked, his blue eyes on vicious fire as he slid into the ring, climbing onto a turnbuckle and grinning cockily at the fans before jumping down.  He accepted a microphone that was held out to him by a ring official, turning to stare at Chris, folding his arms over his chest, letting the tension build.

~*~*~*~

“Dude, what the Hell is John doing out there?”

“I have no idea...something is definitely up though.” Randy said, popping chips in his mouth, and watched along with everyone as the scene unfolded between them.

Jalise raised an eyebrow at the monitor, suddenly becoming interested when she heard John was out there, having interfered in Chris's match, and moved to where she could see it.  It had to be a storyline and she smiled, knowing John probably asked for it after what Chris did to her.  The man was her protector, even though she told him countless times she didn't need his protection.

Chapter 17

“What's this about Cena?” Chris demanded quietly, knowing this wasn't a storyline and not using a microphone.  John's big mouth would probably air whatever needed to be aired in a minute.

“So Chris how's the head?” John asked after another second, his smirk growing wider.  “You know man, every Monday I see you come out here and wrestle with a bandage wrapped around that blonde melon of yours.  And every Monday night backstage everyone is wondering who on earth keeps beating up poor little Chris Jericho...”

Chris' eyes narrowed.

The smile faded from John's eyes as he got right in Chris’s face and stated, “It was me.”

~*~*~*~

Midnight blue eyes widened in shock when she heard that, the tears filling them, and slowly backed up from the monitor, shaking her head repeatedly.  Her heart had dropped in her chest down to her stomach, crashing and burning once again.  She'd allowed it to happen AGAIN!  “No.” She whispered in disbelief, the tears already pouring down her face, but she couldn't pull her gaze away from the monitor, knowing there was a lot more to the story from John.

~*~*~*~

“That's got your attention, doesn't it?” John no longer looked like he was in such a jovial mood.  “There's more to confess before I even consider launching into an explanation.  The other night...when Jillian decided to come visit you, you think you did it because she found you irresistible?  Actually, she came to you because I paid her too.  Pretty sad when a woman has to be paid to come see you, now isn't it?” He paced the ring now, glancing at the camera.  “Now the why?  Why John, why'd you do it?” He said in a mocking voice.  “I did it for Jalise.”

~*~*~*~

Every single eye turned to face her at that moment, causing Jalise to slowly back out.  She didn't want to listen to anymore; she didn't need to hear it!!  He did this for her?  He broke her heart and betrayed her trust!!  “This cannot be happening; this cannot be happening!!” She sobbed over and over again, passing right by a stricken Ember and Mark, who grabbed her.  “Let me go!!” She cried out, feeling his arms wrap around her, preventing her from going anywhere.  “Mark please, I can't be here right now!!”

“Just hear the psycho out; better know what yer dealin' with now instead of later.” Mark reasoned, holding her still, turning her towards the monitor.

~*~*~*~

“You see Chris; it took me a lot of time to get over what Jalise had done to me.  I mean, yeah, I treated her like shit when she worked for me but then things changed.  I honestly loved her though and I honestly wasn't expecting her to whack me upside my head with a chair.  Especially not everything we'd gone through together.  Fast forward it about three, four years later.  Jalise comes back, with you and something just kind of...snapped.” He got back in Chris' face, not backing down for a second.  “You think you know Jalise?  You don't.  She's as twisted as I am.  She can be just as cold hearted and devious and you had no idea, did you?  You were like a love sick puppy, falling in love with one side but not the other.”

“And you do?” Chris weakly shot back.

“Damn straight I do.  I love that conniving bitch more then anything in this world, even if she does use chair shots to get her point across.”

~*~*~*~

A conniving bitch?  She was as twisted as he was?  Jalise sniffled as Mark sat her down, threatening that if she even attempted to get up, there would be serious Hell to pay.  So Jalise had to sit there and watch as this unfolded, the tears never stopping, just hearing the words echo out of John's mouth.  They replayed over and over in her mind, conniving, devious, cold hearted, twisted...is that what John and everyone else thought of her?

~*~*~*~

"Jalise is probably in the back having a meltdown.  She's probably even tried running already, but knowing her do gooding friends, they're keeping her locked down somewhere.  So Jalise,” John faced the camera again.  “I know you probably hate me.  But if anyone can understand why I did the things I have, you can.  Chris wasn't right for you and we all know it.  If he had been, you two would have worked through everything that happened together instead of going your separate ways.  Just remember, when your world was falling apart, I was the one there helping you pick up the pieces.” He tossed down the microphone and slipped through the ropes.

~*~*~*~

She just stared at the monitor for what seemed like an eternity after the show ended, even after most of the wrestlers had dispersed from the arena.  No matter how hard she tried, Jalise couldn't find it in her to move.  Mark and Ember had long left, promising to get a hold of her, the same old bullshit.  The tears had stopped and the realization finally dawned on her with what happened...and what she had to do.  Slowly standing up from the couch, Jalise walked out of the dressing room and in the darkened hallway of the arena, heading toward the exit in somewhat of a trance.  She didn't know what time it was and honestly didn't care, she had somewhere to be.  She had to tell him and make things right again.  She had too or else she could never be truly happy.

Tonight was going to be another one of those nights that went down in RAW history.  There were a lot of memorable moments but this was definitely going to be one of the tops, simply because the drama hadn't unfolded in a match.  It was a totally genuine, unscripted moment, rather rare.  It was almost like the ending of something that had never truly began.  Jalise had ended it years ago with a chair shot; John had cemented it with a confession.

Baby you’re a wrecking ball

Crashing into me

Nothing I can do but fall

Piece by piece

You broke down every part of me

That I ever thought I would

Never need you, baby

In a zombie trance, she simply walked into the hotel and headed straight for the stairs, refusing to wait for the elevator.  Once inside her room, Jalise shed her clothes and took a shower, wanting to be clean and beautiful for him.  She just hoped he took her back; that they could put this all behind them and move on.  With everything that happened, Jalise was afraid there was too much water under the bridge to truly move on and be happy.  After her shower, she walked out and pulled out the perfect outfit, nodding her approval.  Drying off in record time, she slipped the clothing on before brushing her hair and putting just the slightest bit of make-up on.  With one last look in the mirror, Jalise walked out of the room and down the hallway toward his own.  This was it and there was no turning back now.

It was almost frightening how things had come full circle after all this time, all these years.  But full circle it was.  How things had started out, how they ended up.  It made a sick, beautiful pattern.  Like looking through a stained glass window that was flawed, the flaws were oh so obvious but made the picture even more appealing, more beautiful.  It was fragile, warped, wonderful and twisted all at once.

It’s twisted

Messed up

And the more I think about it

It’s crazy, but so what?

I might never understand it

I’m caught up and I’m hanging on

I’m gonna love you even if it’s wrong

As Jalise walked down the hallway, visions of everything that had happened over the course of the past few years flew through her mind.  It all started with her being John's personal assistant, then meeting Steve.  He'd been quit the southern gentleman.  Boy was a wrong judge of character!  He hid it well, she had to admit that, and actually gave him credit where credit was due, even if he raped her or not.  It wasn't like he'd hurt her or anything, but she hadn't been consenting.  She'd been too exhausted to fight him off and shivered at the thought.  Then John revealed his feelings to her and it was truly like a bat smacking her in the gut going one hundred miles an hour and ended up having sex with him before breaking it off with Steve all for her own selfish needs, her own revenge.  Maybe she was sick and twisted, maybe she was a conniving, devious, cold hearted bitch.  She just hoped he still took her back and they could finally have their happily ever after.

The reflections on the past and the present were like looking into murky water, seeing glimpses of yourself occasionally but it wasn't yourself.  It was a warped, twisted version.  But it was an honest version.  It was a true look at oneself, showing both the good and the bad.  The beautiful and the ugly and how they went together to form the person who stood there on the shore.  Maybe things weren't perfect, maybe life wasn't supposed to be that way.  Maybe happily ever after wasn't all it was cracked up to be and fairytales were just for the big screen, but that didn't mean there couldn't be a happily ever after.  Just not…a perfect one.  But perfection wasn't real.  This was.

Everybody’s telling me

I’m over my head

But they don’t feel you loving me

They all say

I’ve gone crazy

Maybe, but it’s too late to save me

I’m too tangled

All her past thoughts went away as she finally arrived at his door and just stared at the three numbers.  102...how ironic.  She ran her fingers down the door, her nails scratching at it ever so gently, wondering if she was making the right decision, wondering if she would regret this.  “I love him...no matter what's happened.” She kept reminding herself softly and finally decided it was time to stop running.  It was time to finally face this once and for all, for both their sakes.  Whatever happened, happened.  She wasn't turning back though, not now, not ever.  With one last deep, shaky breath, Jalise's hand finally rose and knocked three times firmly.  When the door opened, she was staring into a pair of crystal clear blue eyes.

John looked up when he heard the knock on his door, having a feeling it was going to be someone with a baseball bat.  Sighing he stood up, raking a hand through his short hair.  He didn't care.  He had laid everything out on the table tonight, consequences be damned.  His blue eyes widened in shock when he seen who it was, he hadn't even allowed himself to hope.  Now he had to squash the hope that she wasn't there to kill him for sabotaging her relationship with Chris.

It’s twisted

Messed up

And the more I think about it

It’s crazy, but so what?

I may never understand it

I’m caught up and I’m hanging on

Her outfit was a midnight blue business skirt suit that was pin stripped with white stripes, the type he used to love seeing her in, and her hair was down, framing her face.  What was she supposed to say to him?  She was here, in front of him, and no words could come from her mouth.  Finally deciding to go another route, Jalise took his face in her hands and passionately kissed him, her heart flaring with such emotion and want, letting him know silently that after all the despicable things he did, she chose him, she loved him, she wanted to be with him no matter what.

John enfolded Jalise in his arms, pulling her against his strong body, returning the kiss fervently.  He threaded one hand in her beautiful hair, the other roaming her suit covered body, feeling the material underneath his fingers and beneath that her own silky, smooth skin.  He finally broke the kiss, staring into her eyes, searching hers intently.  “So...what do you have underneath the suit?”

Even if it’s twisted, yeah

Jalise smirked wickedly back at him, her midnight blue eyes sparkling with mischief as she shook her finger back at him.  “You'll just have to find out yourself.” She replied, her voice a low seductive tone before extracting herself from his arms and headed to the mini bar, needing a drink before the real celebration began.  “Do tell me something, Cena,” She began, turning around and handing him a glass of Jack Daniels.  “How long did you have this planned?”

“I didn't actually plan it, it happened.” John said, taking the glass, but drinking it, he never had been much of a liquor drinker.  “Jalise,” He stared at her, his eyes guarded.  “Are you mad at me?” He wouldn't blame her if she was, but he really wasn't in the mood for any more games.

Maybe it’s not right

But that’s alright

Yeah, it’s alright tonight

“I wouldn't be here if I was, John.” She softly said, letting her guard down as she sat her glass down and walked over, sitting down on the bed.  “When I lost the baby...you were there for me.  You showed me a side of you I never seen before.  You made me fall in love with you all over again.” She looked up at him with tears filling her blue eyes.  “I'm just as sick and twisted as you are.  I am conniving.  I am devious, and I am most definitely cold hearted.  You're the only one who can warm my heart up though.” She ran her fingers through her hair as she finally looked back down at her lap again.  “You are the only one who completes me and makes me feel whole again.” She actually started laughing.  “It's wrong, it's not the happily ever after, but honestly, life isn't like that.  You take what you can get in it and that's why we're good together.  We complete each other in every way.”

“We do indeed.” John agreed, pulling her down onto his lap, kissing the tears out of her eyes.  “This is our happily ever after Jalise, it's just the twisted version they don't tell you about in books or movies, this is real.” He pressed his forehead against hers.  “I love you, no matter what you do, I always have and I'm probably always going too.  My heart has always belonged to you, you know that right?”

It’s twisted

Messed up

And the more I think about it

It’s crazy, but so what?

I may never understand it

“Mine has always belonged to you too.” She caressed his face gently with her hand before kissing him once more, igniting her entire body on fire as a soft moan escaped her lips.  “I need you to do me a favor, John...” She whispered against his lips, breathing heavily, shuffling her cardigan off as she ran her hands up and down his chest, bunching it up at the waist in her hands, her eyes never leaving his for an instant.

John swallowed hard, not tearing his own crystalline orbs from her deceptively beautiful face.  “What?” He asked hoarsely, feeling the material coming over his chest, automatically raising his arms over his head so she could pull it off.  He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him again, the texture of her suit feeling wonderful against his bare skin.

It’s twisted

Messed up

And the more I think about it

It’s crazy, but so what?

I may never understand it

I’m caught up and I’m hanging on

I’m gonna love you even if it’s wrong

The smile was genuine on her face as she caressed his face tenderly, her lips mere inches from his own.  “I want to have your baby...” She whispered, rubbing her nose against his, knowing this was a huge step, but she couldn't resist.  She'd lost one that she knew wasn't meant to be, but with John she knew it was.  “Please,” The tears started sliding down her cheeks.  “I want a baby...with you, John.” She kissed him again and moaned when he began undoing the buttons on her blouse, causing her to arch her body as it'd just slide right off.  “If you don't want one, tell me.  We can wait if you want.  I just figured since this was a twisted way to end up together, why not add a little more finesse to it?”

“I want that more then anything J, I just wanted to be sure you were certain.” John assured her.  “I want you; I want you to bear my children, the whole nine yards.” He kissed her, never breaking the kiss as he picked her up, one arm around her back, the other under her knees and carried her to the bed, gently laying her down.  “Just you and only you.” He whispered, hovering over her.

Even if it’s twisted

Even if it’s just a little bit

Just a little bit

Just a little twisted

It’s twisted

Yeah

Jalise smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling him completely undress her while she undressed him.  It didn't take long before their bodies joined as one.  They were soul mates, true twisted soul mates and nothing would ever change it.  As Jalise released, her eyes met John's and knew they would finally be happy together.  Her chair shot to his skull would never be forgotten, but they'd finally gotten past it.  Everything was in the past now and Jalise was finally back where she belonged.  In her twisted love's arms.

The End.