Matt’s Thin Mint Massacre


After tossing the bottle of ‘spiked’ gatorade, Matt made his way back to the locker room. He grabbed another bottle he had sitting on the table. He stepped out as he slid to the side as John ran by with a huge box of M&Ms, trailing a few feet in front of him. Matt lowered the bottle as he looked to it, “This stuff must be bad or everybody has lost their minds.” He grumbled to himself as he walked down the hallway. He stopped as something slid into his view, he narrowed his eyes as he saw what he swore was an illusion. He slid his foot towards the box and nudged it, nope it was real. He looked left then right, thinking someone was playing a trick on him, especially for what had been happening around the locker room lately with some of the talent.


He heard his stomach grumble at him as his biggest weakness sat upon the floor, unopened, just waiting to be pounced on and devoured in one shot. Girl Scout cookies sat in front of him, but not no ordinary cookie, crispy, minty, chocolately, addicting.. Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies. Running a hand through his black locks as he slid towards the box, with one hand in his jean pocket the other sitting at his side as he nonchalantly bend over to get the box, then run like hell to hide to devour the box. But the box had other ideas as it slid away from his grasp. Matt fell to the floor as he saw the box move away from him. Shaking the cob webs from his head as he sighed, “What the hell is going on around here?” As his Carolina accent came into play.


Placing his bottle of closed tightly, gatorade in the back pocket of his pants and narrowed his eyes towards the box, “Alright box, you want to be like that... I’m going to kill you then devour your goodness.” Matt mumbled under his breath, as he got the box in his sights. If anybody saw him, they probably either think he was nuts or a lion on the pounce for it’s prey. Moving slowly as he slowly slid his feet underneath himself as he kept his balance with his fingertips, Matt kept the delectable in his sights as he slowly crept towards it. When he was within range, Matt leapt forward and knew he had the box, when he landed. But the box slid out from between his arms. Growling in frustration, for being an idiot for not closing the gap faster before the box decided to slide out from underneath him.


Quickly getting to his feet as he dusted his knees off as he eyed the box evilly. “Gotta think of something else...” He muttered to himself as he got into thought for a moment. Hopefully coming up with something that would work in his favor and not the dreaded box, Matt acted like nothing was wrong and started to walk pass the box, acting like he didn’t know it was there or he didn’t care for it. He stopped a few feet down the hallway, as he turned and dove for it as the box zipped by him, making it’s journey on down the hallway and around a corner. Matt sighed as he got to his feet and ran after the box of cookies. He slid to a skidding halt on the floor as he saw the box sitting, oh so innocently on the floor once again.



Matt was not going to let this box show him up. He stood there and looked around, make sure nobody knew he was following the box and making an ass of himself at the same time. Slowly creeping towards the box, the box slid a bit forward, each time Matt moved towards it and was mere inches from grabbing it. Trying the pouncing routine once again, this time jumped over the box and slid to a halt at the junction of the other hallway against the wall. The box slid by him, almost mocking him that it showed him up. Shaking his head as he got to his feet and chased after the box. Jetting down one more hallway as he slid around a corner as he saw the box facing the cafeteria doorway. He walked around the said box and glared at it. He jumped in front of it and stopped the box from moving. “HA! Finally I got yah!” Matt said triumphantly. He grabbed the box as he felt something odd about it.


Moving his hand to the front of the box, he felt a fishing line attached to the front of it. He narrowed his eyes as he lifted it gently and followed it into the cafeteria. He carried the box of cookies in one hand, following the line with the other. Chuckling as he pulled the line hard as Jeff came tumbling out of hiding, holding the rest of the line. “JEFFREY!” Matt bellowed as Jeff rubbed his head, “Hey... bro.... Uhh Nice day huh?” Matt narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his foot, waiting for an explanation. “Well?” He asked. Jeff slowly got to his feet as he sighed, “It wasn’t my idea. I just went along with it, I swear..” Matt lifted a brow as he shook his head, “Try again Nero..” Jeff sighed as he motioned to someone to come forwards. Ashley came walking out with a camcorder in hand, “Smile for the camera Mattie!” She said as her and Jeff busted up in laughter. Matt sighed and started to turn red with embarrassment. He had been showed up by his brother and girlfriend! He knew he would never live this down. “You two..” Sighing a bit as Ashley put the camera down, turning it off. “Us two what hun?” She asked with a hand on her hip. “Are dead meat, especially you Jeff. Once I get my hands on you..”


Jeff squeaked as he jetted off with Matt chasing behind him, with Ashley on their heels, with the camera rolling of course. After chasing Jeff for who knows how long, Matt finally caught up to him. Giving Jeff a noogie then a wedgie of a life time, hanging Jeff up on the wall by the back of his jeans, Matt turned his attention to Ashley, “Give me the camera Ash.” Ash started to back away, “No way Matt. You’ve gotta catch me first.”



Matt growled as he started to chase her. Stepping into the hallway, Jenica had heard the whole thing as Ashley ran by her, passed the camera off as Matt jetted by after her. Sighing as she headed down the hallway as she saw poor Jeff, hanging on the wall by his pants, “He found out didn’t he?” She asked. Jeff sighed and nods with his head hung. “Yea he did.. But I almost had him. I think he’s more embarrassed knowing he was tricked by his younger brother and girlfriend. But I didn’t tell him it was your idea.” I walked over and got Jeff down off the wall. “You alright?” Jeff nods as he readjusts his boxer shorts and jeans, “Yea I’ll live. But I will keep in mind to never get between my brother and Thin Mints ever again, plus to never spike his gatorade either.” Chuckling as we both walked off to plot our next little adventure.