Jeff’s Sour Patch Patrol


Bounding out of his locker room, after having a whole bag of skittles and three colas, Jeff was practically bouncing off the walls. He decided to go find Jenica, and see what other trouble he could cause with his partner in crime. Semi skipping down the hallway as he jumped up on a nearby rolling case as a box of M&Ms slid by with John trailing it. Jeff sighed and ran a hand through his fireball red and orange hair. “I’ve gotta lay off the sugar or I’m seeing things.” Climbing off the case as he continued his way down the hallway. Turning a corner as he ran directly into something in front of him. Backing up as he rubbed his forehead, “What gives...” He yelped as he slowly lifted his eyes and saw the mother loud of sugar, a huge box of Sour Patch Kids.


Jeff’s eyes went wide as his jaw dropped, he felt his mouth water at the tasty, sweet and sour treat before him, but it’s floating? He shook his head as the box lowered itself to the floor. Jeff shrugged as he went to pounce on the box. Missing totally by himself, as he hit a nearby case with his side as he groaned in pain, watching the box slide down the hallway, past him. He narrowed his eyes as he looked to the box, “No box of tasty candy is going to mock me..” He grumbles as he gets to his feet, dusting himself off. His mind thinking a million miles a minute, between trying to figure out how to get the box of tasty treats and te already sugar high he was on, he couldn’t come up with anything at the moment. He crouched down as he slowly stalked the box as he stopped a few feet from it, he lifted his hands up as he got on the balls of his feet, pushing off as he leapt like a frog towards the box.


Flying threw the air as he missed and slid and hit a nearby wall with his back and knocked the air out of himself “Damn it!” He growled out loud as he slowly opened his eyes and shook the cobwebs out of his head, rubbing the back of his head. “This isn’t funny..” He whined as he got to his feet, as the box was now down the hallway from him. Running a hand through his hair as he looked around, for anybody to help him or even give advice. But if he did, he would look like a complete fool, which everybody thought he was anyways, so that was out of the question. “There’s only one way to out smart a box like that..” Jeff spoke out loud, to nobody in particular.

Stalking towards the box of sweet goodness on the balls of his feet as the box started sliding down the hallway away from him. Stopping as the box stopped sliding, Jeff narrowed his eyes as he bolted towards the box, the box slid a foot or two in front of him as Jeff gave chase to the box, not watching where he was going at all, just the box of candy was his prime target.


Guys were jumping left and right out of his way, as Jeff took things out with his body, like a line backer in a football game, not caring what was in his way until the target was taken down. Making one last corner, Jeff was out of breath, hurting and beaten from not stopping for anything, not even for the Great Khali, which he slid between the big man’s legs in a baseball slide move and kept on going.


Bent over with his hands upon his knees, catching his breath as he looked to the evil box of goodness. “How can something so evil, taste so damn good, is beyond me.” He grumbled out as he stood to his full height and narrowed his eyes towards the evil box of candy. He slid himself to the side and whistled with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He slid his hands out as he got closer to the box, he jumped and caught the box as he was pulled along with the box into a locker room.


Upon loosing his grip on the box, Jeff slid along the floor and tumbled into some lockers, said lockers stopping his momentum. Slowly groaning as he opened his eyes, he was staring at the ceiling as he heard laughing. Slowly rolling onto his stomach with a groan as his vision cleared and looked up his brother Matt and Mark laughing at him. Jeff sighs as he shakes his head and sits up onto his knees, “Alright you got me? Happy now?” He commented.


Mark was holding the video camera as he snickered, “No I’m not, but seeing you nearly kill yerself, makes it all worth while.” Matt had the fishing line in his hands as he takes the string off the box and walks over to his brother. Crouching down with the box in his hand, holding it out to Jeff, “I got my revenge for the cookie joke you did to me. Here.. You earned this Jeff.” Jeff sighs as his eyes go wide as the box is held out to him. He acted like Hammy from ‘Over the Hedge’, as he grabbed the box and ran around the room and then took off with his prize in hand. Matt stood to his feet as Mark lowered the video camera, “Yer brother is crazy.” Mark commented. Matt nods, “Yea but he deserves it, after what I just put him through. Even though he is a lil sneak as he did spike my gatorade and nearly kill me with a box of Thin Mints.”


Jeff hauled ass to his locker room and plopped down on the couch, tore open the box as he dug into the first pouch of Sour Patch Kids. He leaned his head back against the couch cushion and sighs in satisfaction. “He got you didn’t he?” Jenica said from the doorway, leaning against the door frame as she watched Jeff eat his prize. Jeff lifts his head up and nods, “He had Mark in on it.” Jenica chuckles, “Probably thought I would follow you. He’s trying to get me back for the twinkie trick.” Jeff busts up laughing as he sighs, “Nothing like a sweet reward, for making an ass of yourself.” Jenica chuckles as she stands up to her full height and walks off, “Nothing like Jeff needing a patch up after eating those Sour Patch Kids of his.”